Jack Singer Quotes in Honeymoon in Vegas (1992)

Mahi Mahi: Chief Orman have pretty big influence around here.

Jack Singer: Influence? He lives in a SHACK!

Jack Singer: Do you know what a straight flush is? It's like... unbeatable.

Betsy: "Like unbeatable" is not unbeatable.

Jack Singer: Hey, I know that now, okay.

Jack Singer: I dreamt about my mother again last night.

Betsy: Was she vacuuming naked?

Jack Singer: No. She opened her eyes and I said, 'Mom, I'm gonna marry that girl,' and she smiled.

Betsy: Really?

Jack Singer: Yeah. Of course she was naked.

Jack Singer: [seeing Betsy in a dancer costume] Did you get a job here?

[Trying to remember how to open his parachute]

Jack Singer: Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red.

Jack Singer: People get married and then they do the most hideous, unbelievable things to each other.

Mahi Mahi: My name Mahi. Mahi Mahi.

Jack Singer: Like the fish?

Mahi Mahi: Yeah. My father was a fisherman.

Jack Singer: My father left home when I was 5. That's why I'm named Jack, as in, "Jack tell your mother I'm just going out to get the paper."

Jack Singer: Betsy, hi, so what's the story?

Betsy: I have to pack.

Jack Singer: We can leave! What did you work out?

Betsy: Um, he's taking me to Hawaii. It's only for a few days.

Jack Singer: Come on. You're so like blithe about this all of a sudden, like you don't give a damn.

Betsy: Of course I give a damn but this was not my idea okay, Jack. Poker was not my idea.

Jack Singer: Would you please stop crucifying me with this?

Betsy: Where's my bag?

Jack Singer: He's going to jump all over you the second he gets there.

Betsy: I won't let him. Oh please, Jack, give me a little credit.

Jack Singer: He'll overcome you. What happens if you start screaming? It's like a jungle over there. He probably has servants and bodyguards and believe me they will drug you.

Betsy: His son is going to be there, Jack. His grandaughter Tiffany will be there.

Jack Singer: She knows the kid's name already. Listen, you'll be back Monday?

Betsy: I don't know. Probably Tuesday or Wednesday.

Jack Singer: Tuesday or Wednesday? That's almost a week!

Betsy: What, you expect us to fly back and forth to Hawaii in 2 days?

Jack Singer: Us? Already it's us.

Betsy: Oh don't be infantile. I'm trying to make the best of this.

Jack Singer: Listen, Mahi, I don't have time for this horse shit.

Jack Singer: We're gonna jump out of one plane?

Roy Bacon: At 3,000 feet.

Jack Singer: And these chutes are fool-proof, right?

Roy Bacon: Well, as the King always said there's nothing in this world fool-proof other than a Coupe de Ville... and hookers!

Jack Singer: [trying to remember how his parachute works] Let's see... I pull this one first?

Roy Bacon: No, son. You pull this one, the yellow one. That's your main chute. Then if that chute don't open, what you do is reach down there and pull the red one. That there is your auxiliary chute.

Jack Singer: Yellow then red?

Roy Bacon: You got it.

Jack Singer: Okay... let's just say that I get a little flustered when I'm hurling through space and... what happens if I pull the red one first?

Roy Bacon: Oh, well then neither chute will open. You'll end up on the ground looking like a well-done chili burger. They'll have to shovel you into a coffin!