Gunner Shorthouse Quotes in Carry on England (1976)
Gunner Shorthouse Quotes:
Capt. S. Melly: You up there! What's your name?
Bombardier Ready: Ready, sir.
Capt. S. Melly: Ready? Ready... Willing... Able... This is ridiculous.
Capt. S. Melly: What are you doing?
Sgt. Maj. Tiger Bloomer: [shouts] Twitching, Sir!
Capt. S. Melly: I can see that Sergeant Major, but why is he twitching?
Bombardier Ready: It's me nerves, Sir!
Capt. S. Melly: Trying to twitch your ticket, eh? Well, it won't work, Bombardier. You're in the army for the duration. Twitch your way out of that!
[Bombardier Ready keeps twitching]
Sgt. Maj. Tiger Bloomer: Twitch off!
Sgt. Maj. Tiger Bloomer: Wasted on me, boy!
Capt. S. Melly: Good man, and what's your name?
Gunner Shorthouse: Gunner Shorthouse.
Gunner Shorthouse: Gunner Shorthouse, Sir, that's my name!
[Melly moves along the line]
Capt. S. Melly: And what is your name, my man? Er... woman.
Pvt. Ffoukes Sharpe: Jennifer Ffoukes Sharpe, Sir, the Sharpe with an E and two F's in the Ffoukes. How do you do?
[Pvt Ffoukes crushes Capt S. Melly's hand while shaking it]
Sgt. Maj. Tiger Bloomer: [Leaning in] She too is also a ball squeezer, Sir.
Capt. S. Melly: Do your shoelace up and look sharp about it, Sharpe.
[She does so. before grabbing Sgt Maj Bloomer's leg and biting it]
Pvt. Ffoukes Sharpe: [Standing up] Oh, Tiger! I think you wonderful. When are you going to savage me?
Sgt. Maj. Tiger Bloomer: If only you was a man I would sort you out!
Capt. S. Melly: [Pointing to Pvt. Owen's foot] Well, you seem to have put your foot in it!
Gunner Owen: Not so much my foot, Sir, more my big toe.
Capt. S. Melly: What's wrong with your big toe?
Gunner Owen: Sprained it, Sir, didn't I, when I fell out of bed.
Sgt. Maj. Tiger Bloomer: [shouts] Pushed out of bed, more like!
Capt. S. Melly: [Turns to Bloomer] Pushed out of bed, Sgt Maj?
[Melly has stormed out after ordering the men to polish the floor of the hut]
Gunner Shorthouse: I know what he wants!
Sgt. Len Able: What does he want?
Gunner Shorthouse: He wants us to polish the floor, Sarge!
Sgt. Len Able: He's not going to get away with it - making us sweat like that!
Bombardier Ready: What do you mean - *us*?
Sgt. Len Able: All right - He's not going to get away with making *you* sweat like this.
Gunner Shorthouse: But he *is* getting away with it!
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