Gunner Owen Quotes in Carry on England (1976)


Gunner Owen Quotes:

  • Capt. S. Melly: You up there! What's your name?

    Bombardier Ready: Ready, sir.

    Capt. S. Melly: Ready? Ready... Willing... Able... This is ridiculous.

    [Ready twitches]

    Capt. S. Melly: What are you doing?

    Sgt. Maj. Tiger Bloomer: [shouts] Twitching, Sir!

    Capt. S. Melly: I can see that Sergeant Major, but why is he twitching?

    Bombardier Ready: It's me nerves, Sir!

    Capt. S. Melly: Trying to twitch your ticket, eh? Well, it won't work, Bombardier. You're in the army for the duration. Twitch your way out of that!

    [Bombardier Ready keeps twitching]

    Sgt. Maj. Tiger Bloomer: Twitch off!

    [Leans closer]

    Sgt. Maj. Tiger Bloomer: Wasted on me, boy!

    Capt. S. Melly: Good man, and what's your name?

    Gunner Shorthouse: Gunner Shorthouse.

    [Melly reacts]

    Gunner Shorthouse: Gunner Shorthouse, Sir, that's my name!

    [Melly moves along the line]

    Capt. S. Melly: And what is your name, my man? Er... woman.

    Pvt. Ffoukes Sharpe: Jennifer Ffoukes Sharpe, Sir, the Sharpe with an E and two F's in the Ffoukes. How do you do?

    [Pvt Ffoukes crushes Capt S. Melly's hand while shaking it]

    Sgt. Maj. Tiger Bloomer: [Leaning in] She too is also a ball squeezer, Sir.

    Capt. S. Melly: Do your shoelace up and look sharp about it, Sharpe.

    [She does so. before grabbing Sgt Maj Bloomer's leg and biting it]

    Pvt. Ffoukes Sharpe: [Standing up] Oh, Tiger! I think you wonderful. When are you going to savage me?

    Sgt. Maj. Tiger Bloomer: If only you was a man I would sort you out!

    Capt. S. Melly: [Pointing to Pvt. Owen's foot] Well, you seem to have put your foot in it!

    Gunner Owen: Not so much my foot, Sir, more my big toe.

    Capt. S. Melly: What's wrong with your big toe?

    Gunner Owen: Sprained it, Sir, didn't I, when I fell out of bed.

    Sgt. Maj. Tiger Bloomer: [shouts] Pushed out of bed, more like!

    Capt. S. Melly: [Turns to Bloomer] Pushed out of bed, Sgt Maj?

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