Gladstone Screwer Quotes in Carry on Again Doctor (1969)

Dr. Jimmy Nookey: Hmm. That's a good skeleton. Did the last doctor leave it here?

Gladstone Screwer: That is the last doctor.

Gladstone Screwer: I'll call you "Sunday".

Matron: Well, I won't be in.

Gladstone Screwer: You don't have to move out, you know. It's a big bed.

Matron: Well as I told you earlier today, I'm not your sort of woman.

Gladstone Screwer: I don't mean anything nasty. I'll marry you first.

Matron: Marry me? Are you mad? Marry me in the middle of the night?

Gladstone Screwer: Where I come from it's a very simple ceremony.

[He produced a knife. Matron screams]

Gladstone Screwer: It's all right, nothing to worry about. We just make a quick cut in each other's left hand, put them together, say "We are one" and it's all legal.

Matron: Oh... I see... sort of instant wedlock?

Gladstone Screwer: That's it. Only out there they call it a bleedin' ceremony.

Matron: Yes, they often call it that here too.

Gladstone Screwer: Right, are you ready then?

Matron: No! I have no urge to marry you.

Gladstone Screwer: Oh, don't worry about that. The urge comes later!