Fate Quotes in The Great Race (1965)

[On a melting iceberg]

Leslie: [measures the base] 37 inches to go.

Fate: Oh, 37 inches to go. Huzzah! At the rate we've been melting, that's good for about one more week!

Leslie: You'd better keep it to yourself.

Fate: Oh, of course I'll keep it to myself. Until the water reaches my lower lip, and then I'm gonna mention it to SOMEBODY!

[on the iceberg]

Fate: You're wasting your time!

Leslie: Perhaps.

Fate: We're melting!

Leslie: Slowly.

Max: We're gonna sink!

Leslie: Eventually.

Fate: Then you're wasting your time!

General: When we get back to the palace, you must trim your mustache. You must look exactly like the prince. Can you laugh?

Fate: What do you mean, can I laugh?

General: Well, the prince has a very individual laugh.

Fate: Like what?

General: Uh... ah ha HA ha ha.

[Fate tries to leave, but the General stops him and demonstrates again]

General: Ah ha HA ha ha.

Fate: HA HA HA HA HA.

General: No, that's too much bass. The prince is more of a soprano.

[last lines]

Max: C'mon Professor. Go, Go!

Fate: Relax. This time I'm going to win it my way. Push the button Max!

[cut to shot of Eifel Tower collapsing]

Fate: I am Professor Fate!

Fate, Max: A Parachute?

Fate: I won't do it!

General: Then you leave us no alternative.

[He draws a gun and points it at him]

Fate: I'll do it!

Ralph: Then you've killed a lot of people.

Fate: I've lost count.

Ralph: Well, I can just get off here.

Fate: This is just where you're getting off.

Ralph: I saved your life.

Fate: It's the most expensive suitcase in the world, there's nothing more expensive than platinum.

Ralph: Except, plutonium.