Dr. Christmas Jones Quotes in The World Is Not Enough (1999)

James Bond: I've always wanted to have Christmas in Turkey.

Dr. Christmas Jones: Was that a Christmas joke?

James Bond: From me? No. Never.

Dr. Christmas Jones: Is it about time to unwrap your present?

[They Kiss]

[last lines]

James Bond: [in bed with Jones] I was wrong about you.

Dr. Christmas Jones: Yeah? How so?

James Bond: I thought Christmas only comes once a year.

[Zukovzky fixes the "Zukovsky's Finest" logo on his office door]

Zukovsky: There's nothing in this place straight.

[Zukovsky opens the door and is shocked to see Christmas sitting on a couch in his office]

Zukovsky: Who are you, and how did you get in? I'll call security and congratulate them. Drink?

[the office door moves back, and Bond appears holding a guy at gunpoint]

Zukovsky: Can't you just say a hello, like a normal person.

James Bond: [to guy] Get lost.

[the guy heads moves towards the door, and Bond grabs him by the shirt collar]

James Bond: [to guy] No, no, no, no, no. Down the back!

[to Zukovsky]

James Bond: What's your business with Elektra King?

Zukovsky: I thought you were the one giving her the business.

[Bond points his gun at Zukovsky and walks towards him. Zukovsky walks backwards towards the wall]

James Bond: She drops a million dollars in your casino and you don't even blink an eye! What's she paying you off for?

Zukovsky: [to Chistmas] You know, if I were you, a relationship with a man like that, I wouldn't bet on it.

[Bond tackles Zukovsky and shoves him back into a wall-mounted shelf full of caviar. At that moment, the sound of helicopters surround the skies over the caviar factory]

Zukovsky: Five thousand dollars of Beluga, ruined!

James Bond: That's nothing compared to what a twenty megaton nuclear bomb can do!

Zukovsky: What are you talking about?

Dr. Christmas Jones: We had a nuclear bomb stolen this morning!

James Bond: Renard and Elektra King are working together!

Zukovsky: I didn't know!

James Bond: Well what do you know?

Dr. Christmas Jones: The world's greatest terrorist running around with six kilos of weapons-grade plutonium can't be good. I gotta get it back, or someone's gonna have my ass.

James Bond: First things first.

Dr. Christmas Jones: Wait a minute. Are you going to do what I think you're going to do?

James Bond: What do I need to defuse a nuclear bomb?

Dr. Christmas Jones: Me.

[Colonel Akakievich and Christmas storm in]

Colonel Akakievich: [to Bond] Hey! Drop the gun!

James Bond: Keep away, Colonel!

Dr. Christmas Jones: He's an imposter. Doctor Arkov is sixty-three years old.

James Bond: [about Renard and his men] This is your imposter, along with the men outside in the plane. They're stealing the bomb.

[Colonel Akakievich picks up an rifle and loads it]

Colonel Akakievich: I said drop it!

[Bond drops the PPK. Renard gets up off the floor]

Colonel Akakievich: [to Bond] On your knees!

[One of Renard's men removes a card from the bomb]

Renard: [Speaks Russian] Well done.

[about Bond]

Renard: He would have killed us all.

[Takes a photograph from Christams's hand]

Renard: This is Peter?

Dr. Christmas Jones: Yeah, but he's no atomic scientist.

Renard: [to Akakievich] I suppose you were the one who let him down.

[Renard shoves the photograph at Akakievich and walks towards Bond]

Renard: [to Bond] You had me. But i know you couldn't...

[Renard squeezes Bond's left shoulder. Bond groans with pain]

Renard: ...shoulder the responsibility.

[Renard lets go of Bond's shoulder and starts walking towards the silo entrance]

Renard: [to Akakievich] Now, without any further interruptions, lets proceed.

Colonel Akakievich: Nyet! There are too many new faces around here, including yours. The bomb doesn't move until I am satisfied.

[to the terrorists]

Colonel Akakievich: Hey, all of you, to the surface, now!

[Renard's men open fire at Akakievich's men]

Dr. Christmas Jones: What's the story with you and Elektra?

James Bond: We're strictly plutonic, now.

Dr. Christmas Jones: You wanna put that in English for those of us who don't speak Spy?

James Bond: [about the bomb in the pipeline] You've defused hundreds of these, right?

Dr. Christmas Jones: Yeah, but they're usually standing still.

James Bond: Yes, well, life is full of small challenges.

Dr. Christmas Jones: So, you're a British spy. Do you have a name?

James Bond: The name's Bond. James Bond.

[Bond and Christmas emerge from the ruptured pipeline]

James Bond: [to Christmas as she emerges from the pipeline] Come on, give me your hand. Jump, jump, jump.

Dr. Christmas Jones: Do you wanna explain why you did that? I could have stopped that bomb! You almost killed us!

James Bond: I DID kill us! She thinks we're dead and she thinks she got away with it!

Dr. Christmas Jones: Do you wanna put that in English for those of us who don't speak spy. Who's she?

James Bond: Elektra King.

Dr. Christmas Jones: Well, why would she blow up her own pipeline?

James Bond: It makes her look innocent. The explosion covers up the theft of the plutonium. And they make it look like a terrorist attack.

Dr. Christmas Jones: [takes a tin of plutonium out of her bag] But why leave this half?

James Bond: So there's enough to spread around to cover up for the part that they did take

Dr. Christmas Jones: But what are they gonna do with the other half? Its not enough to make a nuclear bomb.

James Bond: You're the scientist. You tell me?

Dr. Christmas Jones: I don't know. But the world's greatest terrorist running around with 6 kilos of weapons-grade plutonium can't be good. I have to get it back. Or somebody's gonna have my ass.

James Bond: First things first.

[talks into the two-way radio attatched to his belt]

James Bond: Bond to Robinson, do you copy?

Dr. Christmas Jones: By the way, before we go any further, I just want to know. What's the story with you and Elektra?

James Bond: We're stictly plutonic, now.

[into two-way]

James Bond: Bond to Robinson, copy?

James Bond: [to Chrismas] What's your story? What are you doing here in Kazakhstan?

Dr. Christmas Jones: Avoiding those kind of questions just like you.

Robinson: [from two way] I read you, Double-Oh-Seven. Red Alert. M is missing with Elektra, three men down. Await instructions. Out.

Dr. Christmas Jones: What do we do now?

James Bond: There's one critical element here I may have overlooked.

Dr. Christmas Jones: What, more plutonium?

James Bond: No. Beluga caviar.

Dr. Christmas Jones: Are You here for a reason, or are you just hoping for a glimmer?

James Bond: [With a bad Russian accent] Mikhail Arkov, Russian atomic energy department,

[Hands her the transport documents]

James Bond: and you are miss?

Dr. Christmas Jones: Doctor Jones. Christmas Jones, and don't tell me any jokes, I've heard them all.

James Bond: I don't know any doctor jokes.

Dr. Christmas Jones: [after looking at the transport documents] Here, they're okay, you can take the elevator, your friends are already down there.

James Bond: Do I get some type of protection?

Dr. Christmas Jones: What is down there is just weapons-grade plutonium. It's completely safe.

[Seeing Bond walking away]

Dr. Christmas Jones: Oh, doctor, aren't you forgetting something?

[Points to a board with badges on it]

James Bond: Yes, of course.

Dr. Christmas Jones: By the way.

[In Russian]

Dr. Christmas Jones: Your English is very good for a Russian.

James Bond: [In Russian] I studied at Oxford.