Daniel McTeague Quotes in Greedy (1994)

[opening the door to find Danny nude]

Daniel McTeague: Who are you?

Laura: Daniel McTeague?

Daniel McTeague: No shit! That's my name too.

Laura: No, I'm a private investigator.

Daniel McTeague: You're a detective? Great help me find my pants.

Daniel McTeague: You say one more word and I'll kick your ass so high up you'll have to take off your shirt to shit!

Daniel McTeague: I had no idea just how sick you guys were.

Frank: Come spend a day with us.

Daniel McTeague: I'd rather shove this club up my ass.

Glen: I'll do it for you.

Daniel McTeague: [Looking at photos of Mollie] Do you have any where she's leaning over a saddle looking coy?

Daniel McTeague: You're not broke are you Uncle Joe?

Uncle Joe: I'm richer than shit.

[Daniel, angry, throws a bowling ball out a window]

Robin: You hit a car! You could've killed somebody!

Daniel McTeague: The way I bowl...

Daniel McTeague: Oh, great. Now I'm impotent.

Robin: We just kissed for two seconds?

Daniel McTeague: No, it never takes me this long. Usually we're showering by now!

Daniel McTeague: You missed the basket while you was on the guy with the painted face.People hate that.

TV Director: Wait a minute.Who's directing this you or me?Let me check.

[Looks down at chair]

TV Director: That's my ass.That's my ass in the director's chair.Shit.I must be the director!

Carl: [Referring to Danny] He double crossed us.

Daniel McTeague: [to his dad] Because they're scum.I mean they're greedy.

Frank: We're greedy.We were willing to share!

Molly Richardson: You bastard!

Daniel McTeague: I like it better when she says it.I think it's the accent or something.

Daniel McTeague: Look money's money.I need it just like everybody else.But money's not gonna turn me into some sycophantic,arse licking wacko.

Daniel Sr.: You hired an actor to pretend he was me.And then pretended to get in a fight with him.And told him you preferred Uncle Joe to me.

Daniel McTeague: Well when you put it like that it sounds kinda bad.

Uncle Joe: [challenging Daniel] C'mon out here in the deep end,show that girlfriend of yours what you're made of.

Daniel McTeague: Oh definitely.I'm gonna beat up an elderly crippled man,and she's gonna say "my what a catch".

Daniel McTeague: These pills only work if I give them to him myself.It's a very rare condition.

Hotel Clerk: Excuse me sir,does this say moron?

Daniel McTeague: Ok I'll be honest with you I'm his nephew.

Hotel Clerk: Oh his nephew?

Daniel McTeague: Yes.

Hotel Clerk: Because he specifically said that his room number wasn't to be given to any of his relatives.

Daniel McTeague: What the hell's the matter with you.Do you not care about this hotel's reputation?You know there is an old man shacked up here with a very young girl.

Hotel Clerk: Sir most of these rooms have old men with young girls this is Washington.

Molly Richardson: You tell your cousins I'm not afraid of them.And you leave Joe alone.

Daniel McTeague: You keep your breasts off his eyebrows.