Clairee Belcher Quotes in Steel Magnolias (1989)


Clairee Belcher Quotes:

  • Clairee Belcher: Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!

  • Clairee Belcher: I love ya more than my luggage.

  • Clairee Belcher: Ouiser, I'd recognize this penmanship anywhere. You have the handwritin' of a serial killer.

  • Clairee Belcher: Ouiser could never stay mad at me; she worships the quicksand I walk on.

  • Clairee Belcher: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.

  • Clairee Belcher: You know, you would be a much more contented, pleasant person if you would find ways to occupy your time.

    Ouiser Boudreaux: I'm pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton this morning at the Piggly Wiggly, and I smiled at the son of a bitch 'fore I couldn't help myself.

  • Ouiser Boudreaux: Yes, Annelle, I pray! Well, I do! There, I said it, I hope you're satisfied.

    Annelle: I suspected this all along!

    Ouiser Boudreaux: Oh! Well don't you expect me to come to one of your churches or one of those tent-revivals with all those Bible-beaters doin' God-only-knows-what! They'd probably make me eat a live chicken!

    Annelle: Not on your first visit!

    Clairee Belcher: Very good, Annelle! Spoken like a true smart-ass!

  • Annelle: We are in the house of the Lord!

    Clairee Belcher: Oh like she cares. Ousier's never done a religious thing in her life.

    Ouiser Boudreaux: Now that is not true. When I was in school, a bunch of my friends and I would dress up as nuns and go bar-hoppin'.

  • Ouiser Boudreaux: You are evil, and you must be destroyed.

    Clairee Belcher: Mother Nature's taking care of that faster than you could.

  • Clairee Belcher: [quoting her gay nephew] All gay men have track lightin'. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve.

  • Clairee Belcher: [trying to do "color commentary" by discussing the color of the football uniforms] ... But I love the top - such a vibrant purple. Bob, would you call this color "grape" or "aubergine'?

    Ouiser Boudreaux: SHUT UP!

    Clairee Belcher: What?

    Ouiser Boudreaux: You're makin' a fool outta yourself, Clairee.

    Clairee Belcher: I am not.

    Ouiser Boudreaux: This is football. All the people wanna hear about are touchdowns and injuries. They don't give a damn 'bout that grape shit.

  • [about the new mayor's wife dancing]

    Clairee Belcher: Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket.

  • Clairee Belcher: They were both high. They'd been smokin' everything but their shoes.

  • Clairee Belcher: That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.

  • Truvy: You are playin' hard to get!

    Clairee Belcher: At her age, she should be playin' beat the clock.

  • Ouiser Boudreaux: Clairee, this is just a gesture. We're not feedin' Drum until the end of time.

    Clairee Belcher: Drum loves pork and beans. Eats 'em with everything.

    Ouiser Boudreaux: That explains a lot.

  • Clairee Belcher: The older you get, the sillier you get.

    Ouiser Boudreaux: Yeah, well the older you get, the uglier you get.

Browse more character quotes from Steel Magnolias (1989)