Big Momma Quotes in Big Momma's House (2000)

Big Momma: Somebody better tell me something, cause this show is some freaky shit.

[Big Momma finds Ben and Sadie in her bed]

Big Momma: You two? In my bed? Oh, hell no!

Ben: Hattie Mae, I can explain.

Big Momma: Explain it to the fattier end of my baseball bat.

Big Momma: Oh no! Not in Big Momma's house!

Nolan: Now lets say you walking down the street, strutting yo stuff, and someby yells out and screams "Hey baby! Why don't you back that thing up and show me whatcha got and whatcha gon do?"

Big Momma: I'd say imma size 10, and I'm about to cram it up his boney ass!

Big Momma: Child, Like my Aunt Yorima used to say: Its better to be alone with yourself for the rest of your life, than to be together with bad company for a minute.

Big Momma: This is a family beach, not Chippendales.

Oshima: I'm, uh, going to have to wand you.

Big Momma: Wand me? Well, wand on. Find what you're looking for?

[wand squeaking]

Big Momma: Tha-That's underwire.

Oshima: Yeah.

Big Momma: Keeping these fun bags off the floor is a full-time job.

Big Momma: What do we want Mrs. Fuller?

Leah Fuller: Umm... more butt?

Big Momma: Ooh! We got a gusher! Oh, my goodness! Oh, this is the last time I feed this boy pickled pig's feet.

Fuller's Secretary, Lucy: You're going to change his diaper right here?

Big Momma: Uh, yes, but don't worry. I'll contain the seepage, okay? I just hope your hard drives are backed up.

Fuller's Secretary, Lucy: Mr. Fuller has a bathroom in his office.

Big Momma: Boy, you must be stuck on stupid!

Big Momma: I'm Hattie Mae Pierce, but you can call me Big Momma everybody calls me Big Momma.

Big Momma: [after giving Poncho tequila] Go on and get your tilt on.

Big Momma: Girl, you got a mean streak in you, and God don't like ugly.