Sadie Quotes in Big Momma's House (2000)

John: I used to be married, but not anymore.

Sadie: [sympathetically] Is your wife with Jesus now?

John: Actually, the guy's name was pronounced "Hey-soos." He was the gardner, and one day I caught him spreading some fertilizer around the bedroom, if you know what I mean.

Catherine: Not scoring any cock, either?

Sadie: Cock? I've never even been kissed

Sadie: Where do babies come from?

Debbie: Where do you think they come from?

Sadie: Well. I think a stork, he umm, he drops it down and then, and then, a hole goes in your body and there's blood everywhere, coming out of your head and then you push your belly button and then your butt falls off and then you hold your butt and you have to dig and you find the little baby.

Debbie: That's exactly right.

Sadie: I Googled murder.

Ben Stone: [Ben knocks on the door at Sadie's birthday party and Sadie answers] Oh Hey! What up dawg?

Sadie: Where have you been?

Ben Stone: Around, you know... just kinda doing my thing!

Sadie: Why is everybody so mad at you?

Ben Stone: I don't know are they mad what have they been saying?

Sadie: They've been saying like Blah, blah, blah, blah blah. Ben's a prick.

Ben Stone: They said that?

Sadie: A lot!

Ben Stone: That sucks!

Sadie: [intrigued] What does it mean?

Ben Stone: [Ben hesitates] Penis... means penis

Sadie: Oh...

[giggles]

Sadie: Penis

[Sadie turns her back and Ben walks in]

Sadie: I don't make fun of your stupid Mad Men!

Pete: First of all, I don't get worked up over Mad Men.

Sadie: That's because Mad Men sucks!

Pete: What Don Draper has gone through beats whatever Jack is running from on some fucking island.

Sadie: A bunch of people smoking in an office, it's stupid!

Sadie: [staring at Simon's 11 inches] I'm surprised you don't get out more.

Sadie: No, Taj - I was talking about her vagina!

Gethin: Sadie, this is Taj Badalandabad, our new head of house.

Sadie: Alright me ol' mucker, have a shake then I ain't got the clap or nothing.

Gethin: She means Handshake.

Taj: Of course, of course, Hi.

Gethin: Sadie is a cockney. It takes time to understand her words, they fit in her mouth funny.

Taj: Lucky words. You enjoying your time at Camford, Sadie?

Sadie: Yeah, It's alright. Blokes here are a bit stuffy here though. I mean I never thought it would be so hard finding someone worth slapping the ol' panhandle. You know, giving a blowjob. Nothing like getting your tongue around a nice fat one. Sliding it in, and out, in, and out, in, and out, in, and out. Milking it like a cow until it explodes in the back of your mouth.

Taj: Wow, I must have an amazing ear for dialects. I understood everything she said perfectly!

Sadie: Kevin, you're never gettin' outta here. You're all mine.

Sadie: Kevin, do you love me?

Kevin: Of course I love you.

Sadie: Even though I'm crazy?

Kevin: I love you 'cause you're crazy.

[Sadie runs into two cops on the road]

Heavier Cop: Where you headed?

Sadie: Oh, just went to get some cigarettes, head back to the house with my boyfriend. Shady habit.

[pause]

Sadie: The cigarettes, not my boyfriend.

Sadie: That's the thing about threesomes, of course. You got to do it all together. You can't do it separately.

Sadie: [to Jennifer] You and me, we always said that men are like dogs. Someone just smiles at 'em, they'll jump up and sleep in their bed.

Sadie: [reading Kevin's texts aloud to him after discovering he's been cheating] Last Friday, you text, "I miss your magic pussy"! What's magic about it, honey? Does she pull rabbits out of it?

Sadie: [looks at the jewelry box Ray gives her] What's this?

Ray: It's a present.

Sadie: [opens the box and sees the ring] Baby! What are you trying to say?

Ray: Well, what do you think I'm trying to say?

Sadie: Come on, say it.

Ray: Yes or no?

Sadie: Oi! Do you want me to marry you? Say it. Come on.

Ray: Yes or no?

Sadie: What do you mean yes or no? Are you asking me to marry you?

Ray: Yes or no?

[first lines]

Heckeler: So would you like to join us for a drink?

Sadie: Sorry mates I'm busy.

Heckeler: I tell you what, tell me about your character, 'cause I am your biggest fan

Sadie: I told you I'm busy, I'm waiting for someone.

Heckeler: Now, when you stage kiss, do you use tounges or no tounges?

Sadie: Look, you.

Heckeler: [laughs] Come on, I'm only having a joke

Sadie: Oh, Look. My boyfriends here.

Sadie: You do realize that Calvin's a girl?

Shuli: And? I want to see if she will come to Sacramento with us.

Anna: [sarcastic] This isn't a dating service, you know.

Sadie: Sorry, Shuli. Last time anyone checked, you liked men.

Shuli: Who said I didn't? Jesus, you dykes are such closed-minded bitches.

Anna: I thought you said this was a girl's group.

Sadie: It is. Aggie gets a free pass for being born with a clit.

Shuli: Hey! He's not in a fucking circus, you can stop gawking at him.

Shuli: Sorry, I didn't mean to look at you.

Aggie: It's OK, I'm used to it.

Sadie: Aggie's a tough one. Not everyone's got the balls to take it.

Shuli: No pun intended, of course.

Sadie: Look, I may have my problems, but I would never go behind your back and fuck one of your best friends, Ana!

Anna: Sadie!

Sadie: That is low!

Anna: I'm sorry!

Sadie: I don't want to see you again! EVER! Don't follow me!

Anna: Sadie, please!

Sadie: Put some fucking clothes on!

Sadie: Meat's an amazing artist.

Anna: What are you making?

Shuli: If it were any of your business, you'd know.

Paige: Okay, so can we please just go now?

Francis: [holding a knife to her] Aw, Paige.

Paige: Please!

Sadie: Do you not like us, Paige?

Krug: I'm sorry ladies. We just can't risk it.

Sadie: [to Krug, after freeing him from police custody] Did I do good? Tell me I did good!

Sadie: [to Mari] Bitch! You burnt my face!

Sadie: [referring to Morton] I think he's dying now. What do you think he's seeing?

[Krug grabs a photograph of Morton's daughters and shows it to him]

Krug: Something he'll never see again.

Sadie: I don't know, Krug. I think Mari here has some potential you should consider. Krug, what do you think?

Krug: I think she's been a cool customer, ever since the motel.

Krug: So, do you guys live here permanently?

Emma Collingwood: Oh, no. We actually live in the city.

Sadie: How many houses do you have?

Emma Collingwood: [uncomfortable] So what are you guys doing out here anyways? This is kind of in the middle of nowhere. Are you on a family vacation? Or...

Krug: Well it's kind of embarrassing, actually. My dad used to take Francis and me to this lake every summer; do some fishing, go camping. Now that he's gone, those memories are all I really have left of him. Basically I'm just trying to do the same thing for Justin here.

Emma Collingwood: I think that's important. It's nice making memories.

Krug: [laughing] Don't know if I want to remember today.

Emma Collingwood: You might. You never know. You're all safe. You're together. That's what counts.

Krug: Amen, Emma. Amen.

Estelle Collingwood: Are you folks on vacation?

Krug Stillo: No, we're sort of, um, on a business trip.

Dr. John Collingwood: Well what sort of business are you in?

Fred "Weasel" Podowski: Plumbing.

Krug Stillo: Insurance.

Estelle Collingwood: Well, which is it?

Sadie: You see, we're actually in both. We sell insurance to plumbing companies. You know, in case they steal some toilets or something.

Sadie: Being in this house makes me wish I was a lady!

Sadie: [upon seeing Prudence for the first time] Where'd she come from?

Jude: She came in through the bathroom window.

Sadie: You got a good memory for faces?

Max: Yeah, I think so. Why?

Sadie: There's no mirror in your bathroom.

Sadie: [while singing] Oh darling, if you leave me, I'll never make it alone...

JoJo: I doubt that.

Prudence: [on how Max can avoid the draft] Say you're a pedophile - say you want to go into the villages and you want to rape and pillage all the little girls that look like me!

Sadie: Prudence!

Max: You're up before two and looking wicked cool. Who's it for?

Sadie: I have a meeting.

Max: [southern accent] Why, is that prayer a meeting?

Sadie: Yeah, for your twisted soul.

Sadie: [kisses Max's cheek]

Sadie: Put my shirt away when you're done.

Max: Yes ma'am.

Jude: [about the letter he got] Max, what exactly does it say?

Max: It says I have to report to an induction center on the 7th.

Sadie: You've got a week to contract some fatal disease, honey.

Sadie: [Sipping what looks like a lovely frappé outside Java Central coffee shop] I really prefer my own brand.

Jane: That dry s**t you shove into hot water?

Ben Greene: Sadie, what's the first rule for being an agent?

Sadie: Never forget an actor killed Lincoln.

Ben Greene: Head of the class!

Mrs. Finney: Can't we have peace in this house even on New Year's Eve?

Sadie: You got it mixed up with Christmas. New Year's Eve is when people go back to killing each other.

Sadie: The cap's out. Makes me look like a lamb chop with pants on.

Lora Mae Hollingsway: [who has just finished dressing for a date] How do I look?

Sadie: If I was you, I'd show more o' what I got. Maybe wear somethin' with beads.

Lora Mae Hollingsway: What I got don't need beads.

Rita Phipps: [laying down the law to Sadie] And lets get a couple of things straight. First, when you announce dinner...

Sadie: I know, I'm not supposed to say "soup's on".

Rita Phipps: How did I tell you?

Sadie: I forgot.

Rita Phipps: "Dinner is served"

Sadie: [mockingly] "Dinner is served"

Rita Phipps: And you're not to say it as though the food were poisoned.

Sadie: All this fancy schmanzy because two people from the city are gonna eat here.

Rita Phipps: Mrs. Manley is a very important person; she has charge of a great many radio programs, including the one I write.

Rita Phipps: You know what I like about your program? Even when I'm running the vacuum I can understand it.

Rita Phipps: Thank you so much.

Lora Mae Hollingsway: [amused by Sadie's maid uniform] Sadie Dugan, what are you supposed to be, Baby Snooks?

Sadie: Hiya Lora Mae.

Lora Mae Hollingsway: Get a load of that cap - I can't wait to tell Ma!

Rita Phipps: Lora Mae, would you sit there please?

Porter Hollingsway: Come on, sit down.

Sadie: There's a couple of things I could tell your Ma about you too.

Mrs. Manleigh: This great situation belongs in a true-to-life drama - are you two related?

Lora Mae Hollingsway: No we just had the same governess.

Sadie: [laughing] Ya kill me!

Mrs. Finney: Of all the times to quit a job, just before Christmas with all the bills due and five months due on the icebox!

Sadie: You got to make up your mind whether you want your kids happy or your icebox paid up.

Sadie: Look, I don't teach you about teachin'. Don't teach me about ducks.

Sadie: You oughtn't to run around like that. You'll get consumption.

Selina D'Arcy: Hello Sadie.

Sadie: [ignoring her] Man, dig that crazy ghost! Hey, you hear a ghost tellin' me "hello" Rose-Ann?

Sadie: [Sadie is being dragged out by two men] Your worthless God can kiss my ass.

Ruddy: You two in some kind of trouble?

Sadie: Yeah and its coming this way!

Sadie: That was a fast tour!

Sgt. O'Hara: Most of the island's restricted.

Sadie: Relax, fellas, you'll burn out your bearings.

Sadie: Come on in and get wrung out.

Sadie: I'm so healthy it hurts.

Sadie: Listen, when I want you I'll rattle your cage.

Sadie: Oh, come off it you guys, I don't go for that dreaming stuff.

Sadie: He'll find out what it means when I get mad!

Sadie: Well, look me up in my little grass shack, if you ever get into town.

Sadie: Believe me, friendship lasts much longer than love.

Sgt. O'Hara: Yeah, but it ain't as much fun.

Sadie: My, my, don't the world look fresh and clean today. Look at that sky! Just like a thing wasn't going on under it.

Sadie: My voice isn't so awful if you don't listen too hard.

Sadie: Funny how I'm always running out of cigarettes. Sometimes I don't even know I'm smoking. I guess when something becomes a habit you don't think what you're doing.

Sadie: All these islands look alike: palm trees and coconuts. Anything cold to drink?

Sgt. O'Hara: A guy sorta forgets how to talk to a girl who's got stockings on.

Sadie: You're doin' okay.

Sadie: Make the best of things today, it's bound to be worst tomorrow!

Mr. Davidson: Miss Thompson, may I ask where you're going?

Sadie: The boys are throwing a brawl at the Chinaman's. Say, maybe you'd people like to come along? You might have a few laughs.

Mr. Davidson: Wouldn't it be wiser if you stayed here?

Sadie: You mean because of the rain?

Mr. Davidson: I wasn't referring to to the rain.

Sadie: You're not reaching me?

Mr. Davidson: You'll be the only white woman there.

Sadie: Say, that's real decent of you. But, I wouldn't worry. A girl gets just what she asks for. And all I'm asking for is company on a rainy night.

Mr. Davidson: You're going to New Caledonia to carry on your trade.

Sadie: I don't know what you're talking about.

Mr. Davidson: I'm talking about why you had to leave Honolulu. You're a prostitute!

Sadie: What! Who do you think you are calling me names? You're a dirty, rotten liar!

Mr. Davidson: I want to give you a chance to redeem yourself.

Sadie: Where do you get off with that kind of talk?

Mr. Davidson: A chance to find salvation before it's too late.

Sadie: You're no priest or missionary! You're trying to act like one but the collar don't fit!

Sadie: How do you like that double-talking, no-good louse! Handing me a line like that! If he starts that stuff again, I'll really tell him off. I'll spit in his eyes!

Sadie: Let's say I'm doing it for you and Horn.

Sadie: I don't make friends to get 'em in trouble.

Sadie: How much do I owe you, Mr. Horn?

Joe Horn: Forget it.

Sadie: Not me. I pay my way.

Joe Horn: Well, a couple a bucks will do it.

Sadie: For meals and everything?

Joe Horn: Well, this ain't exactly the Ritz.

Sgt. O'Hara: As far as the natives are concerned, you're taboo.

Sadie: Taboo?

Sgt. O'Hara: Meaning: hands off.

Sadie: Did you see that look Mrs. Davidson gave me? Save me from females!

Sgt. O'Hara: Let it rain. Shine. It's all the same with the tropics. You got to learn to relax, Sadie. Like me. Of course, I've been here three years and you only one day; but, I can give you a few easy pointers on how to go native.

Sadie: Yeah. Yeah. Well, some other time, son.

Sadie: I think you better go, Phil.

Sgt. O'Hara: Can't I interests you at all?

Sadie: I lost my curiosity years ago.

Sadie: What's the difference where I go, as long as I get there.

Sadie: I know how to handle it, honey.

Sadie: You know something; it takes a low mind to think low. And Davidson's mind's in the gutter!

Mr. Davidson: There is no hiding from justice.

Sadie: But, I didn't do anything to go to jail for!

Mr. Davidson: You've led an immoral life. You must pay for it! Only then will God forgive you.

Sadie: What kind of God are you talking about? That's not the kind of God I learned about in Sunday school. The way you figure him out, he's nothing but a cop!

Sadie: Yeah, I gotta go to jail.

Sgt. O'Hara: I don't care about that. Anybody can get fouled up. Put in time and it's over. But, that other stuff? Working in that Emerald Club in Honolulu? That can never wash off.

Sadie: All I heard was the rain, falling harder and harder. I thought I was going to scream.

Sadie: The truth's the truth. You can't run away from it. And that's what I've been trying to do. Run away from the truth about myself. I never wanted to face what I became: I was nothing but a tramp.

Sadie: Men - you're all alike. Pigs!

Sadie: When you asked me to marry you, it was like, it was like God has sent somebody to take me by the hand.

Sgt. O'Hara: Marry you? How could I marry you? You're dirty! When I think of all the guys who had their hands on you!

Sadie: Get out! Get outta here! Outta here! Get out! Outta here! Outta here! Get out! Get out!

Sadie: Well, like the Chinese say, Garn-Men-U, I should care.

Sadie: Oh, be careful of my record player. It means a lot to me.

Sadie: [Laying down on her makeshift bed, in a short red dress, with one knee bent up in the air and her arms stretched out above her head] Anybody got a cigarette?

Sadie: Oh, never mind the record player. Keep it to remember me by.

Sadie: I don't want to stay here.

Sadie: I don't want to stay here.

Spencer: None of us want to be here. But we can't exactly help that, can we?

Spencer: What are you writing, Sadie?

Sadie: A letter.

Andrew: To who?

Sadie: To my mother.

Spencer: Your mother?

Sadie: [finishing writing] Yes. I try to write to her at least once a year. It's the only way...

Spencer: You really think she's gonna get that? I mean, do you even think you're going to get a chance to send it? There is no more postal service, Sadie. I hate to break it to you, but the only way your mom is gonna get that letter is if you give it to her yourself when all of this is over.

Sadie: My mother is dead. She died when I was 12. She didn't tell anyone; she was so stubborn like that. And then when she was gone it was... So I write to her. It's the only way... it's the only thing I have left.

Lily Mae Crippen: I'm a New Gospelite. My Papa's a preacher.

Ruby: Yeah? Well, if he's a preacher, I should think he could get you out of here.

Lily Mae Crippen: Oh, but he don't wanna get me out. He put me in!

Sadie: Lily Mae used to pass around the plate at Papa's church.

Bertha: And that ain't all.

Lily Mae Crippen: Oh, hush your mouth. I didn't run around with the Navy.

Bertha: What's wrong with the Navy?

Sadie: What difference does it make why she's in here? The question is what right have they to put her in here? Or you? Or you? Or me? We haven't done anything those society debutantes don't do! But, you ever hear of society girls being sent up? No! It's the system!

Bertha: She's a communist.

Sadie: I am not. I'm a socialist!

Ruby: What's the difference?

Bertha: That's a question she loves you to ask. Now, you are in for it.

Sadie: Now, the difference is...

Ruby: Save your breath, sister. I don't care what the difference is. I'm a Democrat.

Sadie: There's Gypsy now.

Ruby: Who?

Gypsy: Well, well, well, look who's here! Hah! Is this a laugh!

Bertha: Well, that's the new girl. Do you know her?

Gypsy: Do I know her? I'll tell the world I know her. She's the Queen of Sheba.

Bertha: What?

Gypsy: What's the matter, Queenie? Did our boyfriend kick you off your throne?

Gypsy: Well, sisters, I'm on my way. Goodbye Bertha, I'll be missing your snoring.

Bertha: Goodbye.

Gypsy: Goodbye Lily Mae.

[who is black]

Gypsy: You're the only dark cloud I ever liked.

Lily Mae Crippen: Goodbye Gypsy, take care of yourself.

Gypsy: Goodbye Trotsky, keep up the fight for the workin' people!

Sadie: Goodbye, but, the day will come when you'll remember some of the things I've said. When Capitalism...

Gypsy: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Tell it to them. My times up!