Bernard Abbott Quotes in Sneakers (1992)

Martin Bishop: Carl?

Carl: The, young lady with the... Uzi. Is she single?

Martin Bishop: Uh, Carl? Excuse us.

[pulls Carl aside]

Martin Bishop: This is the brass ring. Haven't you got any bigger thoughts?

Carl: I just want her telephone number. Please?

NSA Agent Mary: Wait a minute... you can have anything you want, and you're asking for my phone number?

Carl: Yes.

NSA Agent Mary: 273-9164. Area code 415.

Carl: I'm Carl.

NSA Agent Mary: I'm Mary.

Bernard Abbott: I'm going to be sick!

[each member of the team makes a request in return for the decryption chip]

Whistler: I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.

Bernard Abbott: Oh, this is ridiculous.

Martin Bishop: He's serious.

Whistler: I want peace on earth and goodwill toward men.

Bernard Abbott: We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.

Martin Bishop: You're just gonna have to try.

Bernard Abbott: All right, I'll see what I can do.

Whistler: Thank you very much. That's all I ask.

Martin Bishop: If I come in with what I know, can you guarantee my safety?

Bernard Abbott: Do you have the item?

Martin Bishop: No.

Whistler: Fifteen seconds.

Martin Bishop: Can you guarantee my safety?

Bernard Abbott: Where is the item?

Martin Bishop: [more emphatic] Can you guarantee my safety?

[Carl's demand is to date the young N.S.A. agent]

Martin Bishop: How 'bout a lunch? You can chaperone.

Bernard Abbott: No! I will not *do this*!

[Abbott's agents are holding back a burst of laughter]

Martin Bishop: Hey, Abby. Abby, come on now! The FBI'd give him twins.

Bernard Abbott: NO!