Barry Bergman Quotes in Two Weeks (2006)

Barry Bergman: [on the phone] Look, the honest to God truth, I'm down here because my mother is dying. I want you to do this for her... Yeah, it's like her last wish, something she never had... Yeah, she really wants high-speed Internet access... No good she'll be dead by then. Is there some rush fee I can pay?

Barry Bergman: How's it coming?

Emily Bergman: Well, I got pretty good when I skipped school but it's been a while.

Barry Bergman: Forgery's like riding a bicycle, you never forget how... I've heard.

Matthew Bergman: What do I get to do?

Keith Bergman: You're driving the get-away car.

Keith Bergman: Well, the confessing thing worked out for you, but next time just rat out Barry, he's already got a record.

Barry Bergman: Blow me.

Keith Bergman: Left your cell phone.

Barry Bergman: Yep

Keith Bergman: Don't you think we should bring it?

Barry Bergman: Nope, you want to find out your mother died in the cereal aisle of Sir Buy-a-Lot?

Keith Bergman: Nope.

Keith Bergman: My mom brought me up that there was a solution to every problem. So tell me...

[leans into intercom mic]

Keith Bergman: who do I have to fuck, to get the Sir Buy a Lot discount on my orange juice?

[in the parking lot]

Barry Bergman: I've never been thrown out of a grocery store.