Anthony J. Drexel Biddle Quotes in The Happiest Millionaire (1967)

[the alligators are frozen solid in their pools]

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [panicking] JOHN! My alligators! Look at my alligators! JOHN!

John Lawless: Yes, sir, you yelled, sir?

[sees the alligators, rushes to help]

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [closing windows] Why are these windows open?

John Lawless: [also closing windows] Must've been the new maid, sir.

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: WHAT new maid?

Mrs. Cordelia Biddle: Her name is Florence, dear, she started this afternoon.

John Lawless: She was complaining about the smell.

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: What smell?

John Lawless: Well, the alligators, they do have a certain...

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [threateningly] WHAT?

[John looks at Mrs. Biddle for help]

Mrs. Cordelia Biddle: [soothingly] We're accustomed to it, dear.

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: Oh.

John Lawless: [closing the last window] She probably decided to give the room an airing, and forgot to close up again.

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [angrily] Well, of all the stupid, idiotic... Get an axe!

Mrs. Cordelia Biddle: [shocked] Anthony!

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: Not for Florence, for the alligators! Maybe they're still alive in there, we'll chop 'em out!

Mrs. Cordelia Biddle: Where did you meet this young man, Cordy?

Miss Cordelia Biddle: At a party aunt Gladys and uncle Phil gave. I wrote you about it...

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: You didn't write us about getting married!

Miss Cordelia Biddle: Well, Papa, he didn't *ask* me until today!

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: What took him so long?

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [singing] I've been bit on my finger! It could've been my leg! It could've been my head, I might've died! In a time of mortal peril, any man should expect that his family will come rushing to his side! What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? My family rushing to my side, what's wrong with that?

John Lawless: [confused] Oh, not a thing, sir, I'm sure.

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [singing] I'm a good-hearted husband, I'm generous and kind, no wife could have a life as free of cares! So when a good-hearted husband has been bit, it's only right, that his wife should share the agony he bears! What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? I want my wife to share my life, what's wrong with that?

[walks away]

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: Cordelia!

John Lawless: [to the audience] Well now, that answers a whole slew o' questions, don't it?

[looking at the alligator bite on Mr. Biddle's finger]

Miss Cordelia Biddle: What were you doing shaving at this hour of the day?

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: I haven't been shaving! And since when do I shave my finger?

Miss Cordelia Biddle: Well, you don't shave your ear either, but last week you cut it.

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: That's different, the ear is in the general vicinity of the face!

Miss Cordelia Biddle: Well, so's the finger when you're shaving!

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: It's a *bite*, blast it!

Miss Cordelia Biddle: No!

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: Yes!

Miss Cordelia Biddle: Who?

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: George! Turned on me just like that, after all these years!

John Lawless: [to camera] To have your alligators thaw out and your daughter forgive you all in the same bright morning, that's fortuosity.

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [peering quizzically into the camera] John?

John Lawless: Sir?

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: Who are you talking to?

John Lawless: No one, sir.

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: Well you know what they say about people who talk to themselves.

[starts to walk away then turn and peers at the camera again]

John Lawless: [winks at the camera]

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: Cordelia, sometimes you amaze me!

Mrs. Cordelia Biddle: Well, I hope so, Anthony.

Mrs. Cordelia Biddle: [coming into the hall and seeing Anthony on the floor after he's been knocked over by a maid fleeing from the alligators] Anthony, what are you doing down there?

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: The girl's crazy! The stuff she uses to color her hair, must have gone to her brain!

[Mr. Biddle pulls Cordy into a jig with John]

Miss Cordelia Biddle: [surprised] Papa! I thought you didn't like dancing!

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: Nah, it's that waltzing stuff I don't like! The waltz is for old people!

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [after George bites him] I don't know what got into him.

Aunt Mary Drexel: Quite obviously, your finger got into him.

Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: I believe in the Bible.

Mrs. Cordelia Biddle: I believe in Uncle Sam.