Alex Fletcher Quotes in Music and Lyrics (2007)

Alex Fletcher: It doesn't have to be perfect. Just spit it out. They're just lyrics.

Sophie Fisher: "Just lyrics"?

Alex Fletcher: Lyrics are important. They're just not as important as melody.

Sophie Fisher: I really don't think you get it.

Alex Fletcher: Oh. You look angry. Click your pen.

Sophie Fisher: A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex.

Alex Fletcher: I so get that.

Sophie Fisher: But then, as you get to know the person, that's the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It's the combination of the two that makes it magical.

Alex Fletcher: [singing] It's never been easy for me / To find words to go along with a melody / But this time there's actually something on my mind / So please forgive these few brief awkward lines / Since I met you my whole life is changed / It's not just my furniture you've rearranged / I was living in the past / But somehow you've brought me back / And I haven't felt like this / Since before Frankie said "Relax" / And though I know / Based on my track record / I might not seem like the safest bet / All I'm asking you / Is don't write me off just yet / For years I've been telling myself the same old story / That I was happy to live off my so-called former glories / But you've given me a reason / To take another chance / Now I need you / Despite the fact that you've killed all my plants / And though I know / I've already blown more chances / Than anyone should ever get / All I'm asking you / Is don't write me off just yet.

Alex Fletcher: [talking to Sophie Fisher in the Weight-Not store office] Well, that's just ridiculous. Nobody grows up in Florida, unless you're an orange.

Alex Fletcher: The best time I've had in the last fifteen years was sitting at that piano with you.

Sophie Fisher: That's wonderfully sensitive... especially from a man who wears such tight pants.

Alex Fletcher: It forces all the blood to my heart.

Alex Fletcher: People wait their whole lives to see an ex when things are going really good. It NEVER happens. You could make relationship history!

Sophie Fisher: Are you OK?

Alex Fletcher: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. It's just my Pop! hip. It comes from years of doing our patented dance move. My God, I've suffered for my art.

Chris Riley: Why do you have a plant lady? Why do you even have plants?

Alex Fletcher: Because, from time to time, ladies accompany me back to the apartment and one of them once mentioned that plants make women comfortable.

Chris Riley: Is that true? Plants make women comfortable? Well, maybe if I had plants I'd still be married.

Alex Fletcher: Yes, I think that was the problem; not Susan's affair and raging nymphomania, but your lack of vegetation.

Alex Fletcher: I have great insight. I'd use it on myself only I don't have any problems.

Alex Fletcher: [singing] Sleeping with a clown above my bed...

[spoken]

Alex Fletcher: "Clown" is not right

Sophie Fisher: That's "cloud." Why would you put a clown in your bed?

Alex Fletcher: It would not be the first time.

Alex Fletcher: I like your roof. It's good that it's upstairs.

Alex Fletcher: [Sophie moves a chair] What are you doing, you madwoman, you're wrecking my apartment!

Sophie Fisher: Well, I can't write sitting all the way across the room.

Alex Fletcher: No, go back to your corner!

Sophie Fisher: ...Fine, all right.

[goes, leaving the chair where she moved it]

Alex Fletcher: I'm blocked. How am I supposed to get out?

Sophie Fisher: Go out the other side.

Alex Fletcher: But... but... I've never been out the other side.

Alex Fletcher: Just a little bit louder, because this song is intended for humans, okay? Way Back Into Love, take two.

Alex Fletcher: Are you single?

Rhonda Fisher: I've been married 16 years, but nothing's set in stone, right?

Khan: Mr. Fletcher, I have Sophie here for you.

Alex Fletcher: Well, that sounds like fun. Who is she?

Khan: She says she's here to do your plants.

Alex Fletcher: No, tell her Jane does my plants.

Khan: She says it will only take five minutes and this is a good time for her.

Alex Fletcher: It seems she cannot be stopped. Send her up.

Alex Fletcher: I slept with Sophie.

Chris Riley: [yelling] You slept with Sophie?

Alex Fletcher: Now remember your blood pressure. You're a tall man, you need all the pressure you can get!

Chris Riley: This is horrible Alex, this is very bad! Unless you're happy about this in which case I couldn't be more pleased for you... Should we do pros and cons?

Alex Fletcher: You don't think that going to a party and telling the hostess that she simultaneously destroyed two musical cultures is rude? I'm enrolling you at the nearest charm school.

Sophie Fisher: You should get some ice on that.

Alex Fletcher: Only if it's attached to some whiskey.

Chris Riley: So; Cora Corman - how great is that, huh? Do you believe it?

Alex Fletcher: Wait wait wait - is it even a good idea? Pros and cons.

Chris Riley: Pros: she's a huge star. Great publicity. Terrific money.

Alex Fletcher: And cons?

Chris Riley: No matter what you do, in forty years we'll both be dead.

Alex Fletcher: Okay, so huge star, great publicity, terrific money, versus eventual death. Well, I think we have to think about it.

Alex Fletcher: [Hails taxi] She's going to have a baby!

Sophie Fisher: [Taxi continues driving away] Hey! What if it were true?

Alex Fletcher: Theoretically, I could pick you up because I will be taking a cab.

Sophie Fisher: I could be standing outside at 9:40 in bright orange clothes, so you wouldn't miss me...

Alex Fletcher: Oh good, you'll get some road work done while you wait, then.

Alex Fletcher: The few syllables you got out were absolutely devastating.

Alex Fletcher: You're Cole Porter in panties. Of course, having said that, Cole Porter probably did wear panties.

Sophie Fisher: [talking about Alex's solo album] I bought it... the last copy.

Alex Fletcher: Right, well, I insist on paying you back immediately. $9.99 right? Do you have a penny?

Alex Fletcher: The thing that really hurts is my upper gum. I think I may have impaled myself on a dinner roll. It's a very good thing they didn't have bread sticks. I could have lost an eye.

Sophie Fisher: The worst part is, he still has some power over me. I still care what he thinks.

Alex Fletcher: I'm sorry, but how - how can that possibly be? The guy is a jerk.

Sophie Fisher: Well, that's easy for you to say, but...

Alex Fletcher: No, no. He is a jerk! He is a jerk. It's not a question. He is a jerk!

Sophie Fisher: But...

Alex Fletcher: No, he is! He's a jerk! He's a jerk!

Greg Antonsky: Maybe you want something more commercial. More Pop-y.

Alex Fletcher: Just hold that thinly veiled insult on second.

Alex Fletcher: [singing Greg's lyrics] # Give it up, I'm a bad hot witch / I look real good, but I'm a nasty bitch / I'll scream and claw and curdle your blood / But you'll die on your way back into love #

Sophie Fisher: I'm just here to cater to the plants.

Alex Fletcher: And you're doing a marvelous job. Although, that one is plastic.

Alex Fletcher: I've a strange situation here.

Chris Riley: Oh, you've got a strange situation? I'm at Beth's soccer game with my ex-wife who's here with my ex-gardener. They came on a riding mower.

[Sophie has overwatered a plant. Alex takes it away from her]

Alex Fletcher: Good. Now you can begin to kill the next one.

Sophie Fisher: What if Smoky came up to you and said, "Alex Fletcher, you're a horrible song writer"?

Alex Fletcher: Smoky wouldn't. Dylan, Dylan would. Dylan might. Actually, in fact Dylan did.

Chris Riley: Alright, it's my fault and I hate myself for it, but I'm not upset, and do you know why?

Alex Fletcher: You've been at my liquor?

Alex Fletcher: [while performing] Girls, tell me something... Are these pants a bit too tight?

Alex Fletcher: My face is in the butter.

Alex Fletcher: You look like a worried little doggy.

Sophie Fisher: Ruff.

Alex Fletcher: [start of Way Back Into Love Demo Version] Way Back Into Love, take one.

Sophie Fisher: I-uh-I'm getting really nervous.

Alex Fletcher: You'll be fine, just use your normal, nice voice that I've heard... so much over the last three days.

Sophie Fisher: It's like, ugh, my throat's closing up. It's, like, anaphylactic.

[cough]

Alex Fletcher: It's fine, it's just a three-minute song.

Alex Fletcher: Anybody see 'Battle of the 80's Has-Beens' last night? That Debbie Gibson can take a punch.

Sophie Fisher: [hits her head on piano] OW!

Alex Fletcher: Yes, I think she's up now.

Alex Fletcher: We could even re-pot the ficus.

Alex Fletcher: You seem angry - click your pen!

Alex Fletcher: They're aliens, clearly, I have no children.

Alex Fletcher: I did not pander. I just told her exactly what she wanted to hear.