Wolf J. Flywheel Quotes in The Big Store (1941)

Henry's Wife: [to Flywheel lying on a bed] Can you tell me the price of this bed?

Wolf J. Flywheel: $8000

Henry: Why that's preposterous! I can get the same bed anywhere in town for $25.

Wolf J. Flywheel: Yes, but not with me in it!

Martha Phelps: Tell me, Wolfie dear, will we have a beautiful home?

Wolf J. Flywheel: Of course. You're not planning on moving, are you?

Martha Phelps: No, but, uh, I'm afraid after we're married awhile, a beautiful young girl will come along, and, uh, you'll forget all about me.

Wolf J. Flywheel: Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.

Wolf J. Flywheel: [Flywheel lying in a bed in The Big Store, when Guiseppi, his wife, and their 12 children surround the bed. Flywheel sits up] What other hobbies have you got?

Guiseppi: Eh, we like-a to see something different in a bed.

Wolf J. Flywheel: You would? Just press that button over by the davenport.

Guiseppi: Where is the davenport?

Wolf J. Flywheel: Its in Iowa.

Wolf J. Flywheel: Hey, what's the difficulty here?

Guiseppi: Look, I no get excited like-a my wife; but, I come in here with twelve-a kids and now there only six. What happened my six kids?

Wolf J. Flywheel: What are their draft numbers?

Guiseppi: Look-a there only six-a kids and I know I gotta twelve-a kids!

Wolf J. Flywheel: Twelve kids, eh? How much you make a week?

Guiseppi: Eh, eh, twenty-five dollars.

Wolf J. Flywheel: You can't afford to have twelve kids!

Guiseppi: No tell me what I can ford! The only thing I know-a is, I gotta twelve-a kids and now there only six!

Wolf J. Flywheel: My good man, statistics prove it costs five dollars a week to provide for a child. Twelve times five is sixty dollars. You only make twenty-five dollars a week! Its economically impossible for you to have twelve children!

Mr. Grover: If Ms. Phelps were not my fiancée, I would turn in my resignation and walk out of this store for good!

Martha Phelps: Oh no, no...

Wolf J. Flywheel: Fiancée?

Martha Phelps: Yes.

Wolf J. Flywheel: You mean a woman of your culture and money and beauty and money and wealth and money would, would marry that imposter?

Ravelli: I take-a your picture. Hey! Look at me and laugh.

Wolf J. Flywheel: I've been doing that for 20 years.

[Wolf is about to propose to Martha]

Wolf J. Flywheel: Martha, dear, there are many bonds that will hold us together through eternity.

Martha Phelps: Really, Wolf? What are they?

Wolf J. Flywheel: Your government bonds, your savings bonds, your liberty bonds.

Wolf J. Flywheel: [Flywheel has mistaken the Hastings brothers for the killers and handcuffed them] There you are. I give you the killers.

Tommy Rogers: Why, it's the Hastings brothers, the men who are going to buy the store.

Wolf J. Flywheel: Gentlemen, I'm terribly sorry, but it's really not my fault. You certainly do look like crooks.

Wolf J. Flywheel: [In "Sing While You Sell" number] Come on, Wacky: Nagasaki!

Martha Phelps: Whew! It's warm in here.

Wolf J. Flywheel: Funny, I don't feel it.

Martha Phelps: Well, I do.

Wolf J. Flywheel: [Speaking on an "intercom"] Winthop, have the janitor come up and break a window.

Wolf J. Flywheel: Miss Phelps, I'm turning down all offers to take your case. After all, you're a woman. You are a woman, aren't you?

Martha Phelps: Tell me, what would you want to handle this case for me?

Wolf J. Flywheel: Twenty thousand dollars.

Martha Phelps: Don't you think that's too much?

Wolf J. Flywheel: Of course it is, only a cheap chisler would ask that much.

Martha Phelps: I was prepared to pay five hundred dollars.

Wolf J. Flywheel: Hardly enough. Eh, I'm prepared to take it. Shall we bind the deal with a kiss? Or, five dollars in cash? You lose either way.

Mr. Grover: What experience have you had at a department store?

Wolf J. Flywheel: I was a shoplifter for three years.

Wolf J. Flywheel: This man's a cad! A yellow cad!

Mr. Grover: What is this man? A detective? A floorwalker? Or, a poet?

Wolf J. Flywheel: All three. And not bad at making love. Eh, Martha?

[Tickles Martha's chin]

Wolf J. Flywheel: Woo-hoo!

Wolf J. Flywheel: So, you didn't think I was a real detective, eh?

Mr. Grover: Aw, if you're a detective, I'm a monkey's uncle.

Wolf J. Flywheel: Keep your family out of this!

Tommy Rogers: We can have a party, just like they do in Hollywood.

Ravelli: That's-a fine! Let there be wine!

Wolf J. Flywheel: And women!

Ravelli: And song!

Wolf J. Flywheel: And women!

Ravelli: And caviar!

Wolf J. Flywheel: And women!

Ravelli: And more women!

Wolf J. Flywheel: [referring to an evening gown] This is a bright red dress, but technicolor is sooo expensive.