Mrs. Potter Quotes in The Cocoanuts (1929)

Mrs. Potter: I don't think you'd love me if I were poor.

Hammer: I might, but I'd keep my mouth shut.

Mrs. Potter: Get out of this room, or I'll scream for the servants.

Hammer: Let the servants know! Let the whole world know! About us!

Mrs. Potter: You must leave my room. We must have regard for certain conventions.

Hammer: One guy isn't enough, she's gotta have a convention.

Hammer: And now, friends, in view of the fact that Miss Potter's engagement is being celebrated here tonight, so to speak, I think a few words from her mother would be revolting! I now take great pleasure in presenting to you the well-preserved and partially pickled, Mrs. Potter.

Mrs. Potter: My good, good friends. If I could only tell you how rosy-hued everything seems to me tonight. As I look into your faces, they're all lit with gay laughter. The whole world and everything in it is bathed in a soft, glowing luminous haze...

Hammer: The old gal is stewed to the eyebrows!

Mrs. Potter: What in the world is the matter with you?

Hammer: Oh, I... I'm not myself tonight. I don't know how I am. One false move and I'm yours. I love you. I love you anyhow.

Mrs. Potter: I'll not stand here any longer and be insulted this way.

Hammer: Aw, don't go away and leave me here alone, you stay here and I'll go away.

Mrs. Potter: I don't know what to say.

Hammer: Well, say that you'll be truly mine, or truly yours, or yours truly. Can't you know that I'm...

Mrs. Potter: Will you keep your hands to yourself?

Hammer: Come on, I'll play you one more game. Come on, the three of you!

Hammer: How about you and I giving this joint the air and indulging in some snappy necking?

Mrs. Potter: What?

Hammer: What I meant was you're gonna be here all winter and I'm stuck with the hotel anyhow, why don't you grab me until you can make other arrangements?

Mrs. Potter: My dear Mr. Hammer. I shall never get married before my daughter.

Hammer: You did once.

Mrs. Potter: How do you do, sir?

Hammer: Why don't you whistle at the crossing? You're just the woman I'm looking for. And now whether you like it or not I'm going to tell you all about Florida real estate. It is the first time it has ever been mentioned here - today.

Mrs. Potter: I'm sorry, Mr. Hammer, but I'm afraid...

Hammer: Do you know that property values have increased since 1929 one thousand per cent? Do you know that this is the biggest development since Sophie Tucker? Do you know that Florida is the show spot of America and Cocoanut Manor the black spot of Florida?

Mrs. Potter: You told me that yesterday.

Hammer: I know but I left out a comma.

Hammer: Look, in a little while I'm going to hold an action sale at Cocoanut Manor, the suburb terrible or beautiful. You must come over. There's going to be entertainment, sandwiches, and the auction. If you don't like auctions, we can play contract. Here it is - Cocoanut Manor - 42 hours from Times Square by railroad. 1,600 miles as the crow flies and 1,800 as the horse flies. There you are - Cocoanut Manor glorifying the American sewer and the Florida sucker. It's the most exclusive residential district in Florida. Nobody lives there. And the climate - ask me about the climate. I dare you.

Mrs. Potter: Very well - how is the...

Hammer: I'm glad you brought it up. Our motto is Cocoanut Beach, no snow, no ice, and no business.

Hammer: Did anyone ever tell you that you look like the Prince of Wales? I don't mean the present Prince of Wales; one of the old Wales, and believe me when I say Wales, I mean Wales. I know a whale when I see one. Did you say your room is 318? You know I am the proprietor of this hotel and I have a passkey for every room in it.

Mrs. Potter: Passkey?

Hammer: Passkey - that's Russian for pass - you know they passkey down the streetsky.

Mrs. Potter: Do you know what you are trying to say?

Hammer: Yes, it is not what I'm thinking of. What I meant was, if we had a nice little bungalow and you was on the inside and I was on the outside trying to get in and me inside trying to get out or, no you're inside out and I was upside - I'll tell you, if you don't hear from me by next Friday, the whole things off!

Hammer: What I meant was if we had a nice bungalow and I came home from work - and you standing by the gate - no - you'd come home from work - and I was standing by the gate, and we came down the path and we went inside and the shades were drawn and the lights were low, and then - are you sure your husband's dead?

Mrs. Potter: Why, yes.

Mrs. Potter: Mr. Hammer! Mr. Hammer! I've been robbed! My necklace in your hotel.

Polly: Oh, mother!

Mrs. Potter: It's worth a hundred-thousand dollars.

Hammer: Was it valuable?

Hammer: Now, the first musical number on the program will be a piccolo solo, which we will skip. And, eh, the second number will be Signore Pastrami, the Lithuanian pianist.

[Crowd claps]

Hammer: Signore, for his first selection, will play "A Cup of Coffee, a Sandwich and You" from the opera Aida. Signore, allow me to escort you...

Mrs. Potter: Oh, Signore Pastrami, what is the first number?

Chico: Number one!