Wiley Quotes in Airborne (1993)

Mitchell Goosen: Popeye, now there was a great man. Do you know why?

Wiley: He never joined the Hairclub For Men?

[buzzer sound]

Mitchell Goosen: Wrong. Because his motto was: I am what I am. Do you think Popeye ever worried about what he wore just so he could get Olive Oil in the sack? I should say not, Dude. And do you know why?

Wiley: He was gay?

Mitchell Goosen: Because he is what he is.

Mitchell Goosen: Come on, Wiley, you hockey man, you hockey warrior!

Wiley: Hockey Nintendo!

Wiley: If you're lookin' for hard-ridin', Injun-fightin' whiskey drinkin' mulepackers, then by *God* you've got one!

Maj. Amos Dundee: What in the hell am I supposed to do with you?

Sgt. Gomez: He's the biggest drunk, but the best mule packer in the Territory, sir.

Maj. Amos Dundee: What's your name?

Wiley: Wiley.

Maj. Amos Dundee: All right, Wiley. Make your mark.

Wiley: Whiskey?

Maj. Amos Dundee: All you can drink...

[Wiley signs the contract]

Maj. Amos Dundee: ...when you've earned it. Sergeant, take him to a cell and dry him out.

[Sergeant Gomez escorts Wiley out of the room]

Wiley: Well! I ain't never seen anything like this before!

Wiley: [during the fight between Dahlstrom and Benteen] Boy, you sure do kick up a lot of dust with your sermon, Reverend!

Maj. Amos Dundee: [after a battle, Dundee comes across Wiley, bleeding from a head wound] Wiley, are you hit?

Wiley: No, sir. My damned mule kicked me.

Sgt. Chillum: [about the children they have rescued from the Apache] Doesn't look like the gut-shuckers been feedin' 'em much.

Wiley: You ever seen a fat Apache?

Sgt. Chillum: I ain't yet!

Man on the Train: Hey, are you a dreamer?

Wiley: Yeah.

Man on the Train: I haven't seen too many around lately. Things have been tough lately for dreamers. They say dreaming is dead, no one does it anymore. It's not dead it's just that it's been forgotten, removed from our language. Nobody teaches it so nobody knows it exists. The dreamer is banished to obscurity. Well, I'm trying to change all that, and I hope you are too. By dreaming, every day. Dreaming with our hands and dreaming with our minds. Our planet is facing the greatest problems it's ever faced, ever. So whatever you do, don't be bored, this is absolutely the most exciting time we could have possibly hoped to be alive. And things are just starting

Soap Opera Woman: Excuse me.

Wiley: Excuse me.

Soap Opera Woman: Hey. Could we do that again? I know we haven't met, but I don't want to be an ant. You know? I mean, it's like we go through life with our antennas bouncing off one another, continously on ant autopilot, with nothing really human required of us. Stop. Go. Walk here. Drive there. All action basically for survival. All communication simply to keep this ant colony buzzing along in an efficient, polite manner. "Here's your change." "Paper or plastic?' "Credit or debit?" "You want ketchup with that?" I don't want a straw. I want real human moments. I want to see you. I want you to see me. I don't want to give that up. I don't want to be ant, you know?

Old Man: As the pattern gets more intricate and subtle, being swept along is no longer enough.

Boat Car Guy: Man this must be like... parallel universe night. You know that cat that was just in here? Just ran out the door? Well, he comes up to the counter, you know, and I say "What's the word, turd?" And he lays down this burrito and he kind of looks at me, kind of stares at me and says, "I have but recently returned from the valley of the shadow of death. I'm rapturously breathing in all the odors and essences of life. I've been to the brink of total oblivion. I remember and ferment the desire to remember everything."

Wiley: So, what did you say to that?

Boat Car Guy: Well, I mean, what could I say? I said, "If you're going to microwave that burrito, I want you to poke holes in the plastic wrapping because they explode. And I'm tired of cleaning up your little burrito doings. You dig me?"

Wiley: [to Ricky] You're not listening. It's 'string up'. He wants you to 'string up'.

[about rehab]

Wiley: What kinda drugs they give ya in there? Lithium right?

Ricky: No, I think it was like Haldon.

Wiley: Haldon?

[thinking]

Wiley: Haldon... Haldon... fuck, I usually know my drugs.

[pause]

Wiley: Ohhh... you're a little schizo, huh?

Wiley: Excuse me. It is okay if I feel your belly? I love babies. I love to feel them kick.

Deanne McKenzie: Sure, go ahead.

Deanne McKenzie: [Wiley leans down as far as possible and feels Deanne's breast] That's not my belly, that's my boob.

Wiley: I like to feel those too.