Whitmore Quotes in A Day at the Races (1937)

Whitmore: Just a minute, Mrs Upjohn. That looks like a horse pill to me.

Dr. Hackenbush: Oh, you've taken them before.

Mrs. Upjohn: Are you sure, Doctor, you haven't made a mistake?

Dr. Hackenbush: You have nothing to worry about. The last patient I gave one of those to won the Kentucky Derby.

Whitmore: May I examine this, please? Do you actually give those to your patients? Isn't it awfully large for a pill?

Dr. Hackenbush: Well, it was too small for a basketball, and I didn't know what to do with it. Say, you're awfully large for a pill yourself.

Whitmore: The doctor seems reluctant to discuss his medical experiences.

Dr. Hackenbush: Well, medically, my experiences have been most unexciting. Except during the flu epidemic.

Whitmore: Ah, and what happened?

Dr. Hackenbush: I got the flu.

Mrs. Upjohn: Surely, you don't question the Doctor's ability.

Whitmore: No, not exactly. But running a sanitarium calls for a man with peculiar talents.

Dr. Hackenbush: You don't have to look any further, I've got the most peculiar talents of any doctor you've ever met.

Whitmore: [Speaking on the phone, believes he is talking to the Florida Medical Board, but, it is really Dr. Hackenbush, pretending to be Medical Board Records Department Manager, Colonel Hawkings] I want to know about Doctor Hackenbush.

[Hackenbush, in an adjacent office, buzzes the dictograph. Whitmore goes to answer it]

Whitmore: Yes?

Dr. Hackenbush: Whitmore, you'll have to cut out that squawking. The patients are all complaining.

[Talking on the phone in a Southern accent, pretending to be Colonel Hawkings]

Dr. Hackenbush: And, eh, I hope, sir, that's the information that you require.

Whitmore: I'm sorry, Colonel, I didn't hear it. I was called to the dictograph.

Dr. Hackenbush: [On the phone, pretending to be Colonel Hawkings] What was that you said, sir?

Whitmore: I was called to the dictograph!

Whitmore: [In walk Tony and Stuffy, disguised as Doctors] Dr. Hackenbush, tell me, who sent for these men?

Dr. Hackenbush: You don't have to send for them. You just rub a lamp and they appear.

Tony: My name is Steinberg.

[Goes to shake Dr. Steinberg's hand]

Dr. Hackenbush: Dr. Steinberg, by a strange coincidence, this is another Dr. Steinberg. May I take my great friend and introduce my colleagues and good friends, another Dr. Steinberg. This is a Dr. Steinberg, Dr. Steinberg. Dr. Steinberg. And a Mrs. Steinberg. And Doctor, I'd like you to meet another Dr. Steinberg. And, eh, that's a, that's a Steinberg junior.