Mrs. Upjohn Quotes in A Day at the Races (1937)

Dr. Hackenbush: Oh, well, uh, to begin with I took four years at Vassar.

Mrs. Upjohn: Vassar? But that's a girls' college.

Dr. Hackenbush: I found that out the third year. I'd 've been there yet, but I went out for the swimming team.

Whitmore: Just a minute, Mrs Upjohn. That looks like a horse pill to me.

Dr. Hackenbush: Oh, you've taken them before.

Mrs. Upjohn: Are you sure, Doctor, you haven't made a mistake?

Dr. Hackenbush: You have nothing to worry about. The last patient I gave one of those to won the Kentucky Derby.

Whitmore: May I examine this, please? Do you actually give those to your patients? Isn't it awfully large for a pill?

Dr. Hackenbush: Well, it was too small for a basketball, and I didn't know what to do with it. Say, you're awfully large for a pill yourself.

Mrs. Upjohn: Dr. Hackenbush tells me I'm the only case in history. I have high blood pressure on my right side and low blood pressure on my left side.

Dr. Leopold X. Steinberg: There is no such thing. She looks as healthy as any woman I ever met.

Dr. Hackenbush: You don't look as though you've ever met a healthy woman.

Mrs. Upjohn: [who has been instructed by Dr Hackenbush to wave her arms up and down, as part of a physical examination] How long do you want me to do this, Doctor?

Dr. Hackenbush: Just until you fly away.

Tony: Excuse, please. We're sure getting a lot of new customers since that Doctor Hac-ken-a-pus is coming.

Mrs. Upjohn: Did you say Hackenbush?

Tony: Yes, ma'am.

Mrs. Upjohn: I wonder if that could be the same one! Where's he come from?

Tony: Where's your Hac-ken-a-pus come from?

Mrs. Upjohn: Palmville, Florida.

Tony: That's the one!

Dr. Hackenbush: Here, boy. Here, boy, eh, take these bags and run up to my room and, eh, here's a dime for yourself.

Mrs. Upjohn: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Eh, this is Mr. Whitmore, our business manager.

Dr. Hackenbush: Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Here's a quarter.

Mrs. Upjohn: Surely, you don't question the Doctor's ability.

Whitmore: No, not exactly. But running a sanitarium calls for a man with peculiar talents.

Dr. Hackenbush: You don't have to look any further, I've got the most peculiar talents of any doctor you've ever met.

Mrs. Upjohn: How would you like me to dance away from you?

Dr. Hackenbush: I'd be satisfied if you'd dance off my feet.

Mrs. Upjohn: Hugo, I'm disappointed in you. To think of you dancing with that strange woman.

Dr. Hackenbush: Well, don't think of it. Think of me dancing with you.

Dr. Hackenbush: [to Stuffy] Take her pulse. Take her pulse!

Mrs. Upjohn: [Stuffy takes Mrs. Upjohn's purse] Oh, no-no-no! My purse! My purse! My purse! He has my purse!

Dr. Hackenbush: You must forgive him, he doesn't spell very well, Mrs. Upjohn.