Roommate quotes:

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I liked watching myself on TV. My first job was hosting the 'Roommate Game'. -- Dave Annable
Dogs are like kids. Cats are like roommates. -- Oliver Gaspirtz
Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst roommate. -- Anne Lamott
Me and my roommate wrote and directed a little short comedy called 'The Elevator. -- Heather Morris
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. -- Steven Wright
My first college roommate greeted me with a shocked silence followed by, 'So. . .you're black. -- Al Roker
Its really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs. -- J. D. Salinger
A good roommate may be the single most important thing to have when one is away at school. -- Barbara Dana
I keep a pretty low profile. I live in Culver City with some roommates. I don't do the whole 'Hollywood' thing. -- Cory Monteith
I had this roommate in college who would get up almost 2 hours before class to do hair and makeup. That's not for me. -- Kim Raver
Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst roommate, like having Janis Joplin with a bad hangover and PMS come to stay with you. -- Anne Lamott
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you? -- Steven Wright
My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first. -- Mitch Hedberg
I'm not the easiest person to live with. I'm kind of a slob. So for me to consider a roommate, it would have to be one of my sisters or something. -- Katie Holmes
I wouldn't want to be someone's roommate, that's for sure. You can't do certain things, you can't leave the bathroom door open...you can't put your feet on the couch, you can't hide stuff in the couch. -- J. B. Smoove
I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. After all I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes. -- Mitch Hedberg
The best training is to read and write, no matter what. Don't live with a lover or roommate who doesn't respect your work. Don't lie, buy time, borrow to buy time. Write what will stop your breath if you don't write. -- Grace Paley
Anyone who has ever tried to share pizza iwth roommates knows that Communism cannot ever work. If Lenin and Marx had just shard an apartment, perhaps a hundred million lives might have been spared and put to productive use making sneakers and office furniture. -- Daniel Suarez
I actually knew Sully's sister, and I was in a band called Stripmind, and then I became roommates with Sully and being out of a band, he asked if I wanted to join in his. Tony was originally the second guitarist in the band; a guy by the name of Lee Richards was the first. The rest is pretty much history. -- Robbie Merrill
I was roommates with 2 of the guys who were influential in forming the Black Arts philosophy. I called them "goons," and [Amiri] Baraka took offense at that. But if you read his autobiography, the night we went up there for a fundraiser, he talks about how he wished that some violence would happen to us. How do you like Baraka as a gracious host? -- Ishmael Reed
Good relationships make people happy, and happy people enjoy more and better relationships than unhappy people.... Conflicts in relationships--having an annoying office mate or roommate, or having chronic conflict with your spouse--is one of the surest ways to reduce your happiness. You never adapt to interpersonal conflict; it damages every day, even days when you don't see the other person but ruminate about the conflict nonetheless. -- Jonathan Haidt
Everyone has this universal understanding of roommate drama. -- Leighton Meester
If you lived with a roommate as unstable as capitalism... -- Richard D. Wolff
Between me and my roommate, we've hit 400 Major League home runs. -- Bob Uecker
I've never had a roommate, even when I was growing up. -- Jennette McCurdy
The other day I walked in on my roommate while I was masturbating. -- Nick Thune
My roommate and my boyfriend, they both know I am compulsive and controlling. -- Christina Ricci
Interesting" he said. "You know, Simon never mentioned that his roommate was a werewolf. -- Cassandra Clare
Me and my roommate wrote and directed a little short comedy called 'The Elevator.' -- Heather Morris
My first college roommate greeted me with a shocked silence followed by, 'So... you're black.' -- Al Roker
I used to arm wrestle my roommate in college. Based on that, I'm in pretty good shape. -- Dasha Zhukova
I used to keep my college roommate from reading my personal mail by hiding it in her textbooks. -- Joan Walsh Anglund
Get your product in front of actual, living, breathing strangers. Your college roommate's approval does not mean there's market demand. -- Kathryn Minshew
I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that. -- Jon Stewart
Cooper was my road roommate, and also happened to be the first African American player drafted by a National Basketball Association team. -- Bob Cousy
Know you got a roommate, call me when it's no one there. Put the key under the mat and you know I'll be over there -- Drake
My daughter MacKenzie is so important to me. I have a tattoo on my arm for her. My roommate gave me the name for her. -- Mike Evans
[Juan Wauters] got the tips for Queens because he grew up there.So him and my roommate, Matt Volz, they hooked me up, New York Style. -- Mac DeMarco
Butch put his hand on his roommate's nape and murmured, "I'll do the saving until you get your head back, how about that? I'll keep you safe. -- J.R. Ward
When I was in school, my former roommate went through hazing. I heard the stories, but I don't think I've seen a movie that captures the stuff that goes on. -- Nick Jonas
I've never really lived with somebody. Only for very brief periods. I learned I'm not a good roommate. I'm better off when we visit each other. I like the mystery. -- Marlon Wayans
Before Simon could answer, he heard the sound of the front door opening. He looked daggers at Jace. "That's my roommate. Kyle. Be nice." Jace smiled charmingly. "I'm always nice. -- Cassandra Clare
I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year. -- Mitch Hedberg
While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: "Do I know you?" -- Steven Wright
And what else is she?" Jerome asked. Jazza didn't offer any reply so I chimed in with, "A bitchweasel?" "A bitchweasel!" Jazza's face lit up. "She's a bitchweasel! I love my new roommate. -- Maureen Johnson
I love to roll out of bed and throw something on. I had this roommate in college who would get up almost 2 hours before class to do hair and makeup. That's not for me. -- Kim Raver
In Cincy, we're told how much Gatorade we could take home. In Houston, we get what we request. You get soap and deodorant at your request. You don't have a roommate on road trips. -- Johnathan Joseph
I don't have any weird night rituals. I definitely am a ritualistic person... I like to go downstairs and remind my roommate-drummer not to practice early the next morning, so I can sleep in. -- Charlie Worsham

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