Marlon Wayans quotes:

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  • Success is not a destination, but the road that you're on. Being successful means that you're working hard and walking your walk every day. You can only live your dream by working hard towards it. That's living your dream.

  • There are so many things to talk about between black people, Hispanic people, white people, gay people, men, women, it's all based on fear. We all have fears, this thing that stops us from embracing as we are one. We are never going to be one. People are messed up, but humor lets us see how ignorant we can be.

  • I think family is key, and if you have love for family, then you have love for others - and you have unity as a people.

  • G.I. Joe' is a $200 million movie. The makeup trailer was as big as my house! It was a whole other different production. It blows me away. I'm just going, 'Wow, I'm in that.'

  • 'Scary Movie' has lost its way as a franchise. It has turned into 'Disaster Film' and 'Epic Movie' and 'Date Movie' and that isn't what I wanted. I wanted to do a movie that was just grounded in a reality that went to crazy places.

  • Paranormal 1' scared me because I didn't know if it was real or what. 'Blair Witch' was kind of scary for the same reason. It takes the voyeur element away and makes you think, 'Oh crap, this could really happen to me.'

  • I had to do the full body shave for the first coupla weeks of 'White Chicks,' then I said, 'You know what? I'm just gonna be a hairy white chick 'cause this is too much!

  • Comedy is very hard, but you have to learn the art and science of it.

  • You learn timing on the road. You learn structure and how to read an audience. You learn so much about the business of laughter that you can't learn on a set, because it's all on you. Sometimes you bomb, and you know not to tell that joke again... You just hope people find the humor in the awkwardness.

  • Humor helps ease the tension of race and the differences in society. If there wasn't comedy I don't know if Obama could have ever become president.

  • I like All Saints. They make great leathers. I love Hugo Boss, especially the suits. I like James Perse for T-shirts, and Supra and Radii for sneakers. And God Is in the Details.

  • So, I was sitting there and I watched 'Paranormal Activity' and I was like, 'Boy, white people do dumb stuff in movies.' So I was like, 'Why don't they just leave the house... What if paranormal activity happened to a black couple?'

  • There's a certain level of comfort that comes when you move in together. The mystery is gone. She starts dressing for bed in your pajamas, cream on her face, Uggs, curlers. What happened to the sexy girl that used to come to bed in lingerie? The girl says, 'We don't need to act.'

  • I see a funny guy who's imperfect, but has a great heart and no vanity when it comes to what he'll do to get a laugh. I see a guy who loves his art and loves his family, and who is willing to live and die for both.

  • I don't think of myself as a comedian, but as an artist, a scientist and chemist who just happens to be funny. I started doing stand-up to add another level to my game. I feel that I'm a young rookie with a veteran's skill.

  • If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong.

  • I'm the most inappropriate dad. I curse in front of my kids and their friends. I let my kids watch R-rated movies. I'll walk by the movie theater and say, 'Let's go see that,' and my kids will say, 'No, it's rated R. It's not appropriate for kids.' I'm like Uncle Dad. We have fun. I don't live with them, but I drive over four days a week.

  • I was going to be valedictorian in elementary school, but I got into too many fights, and they made me salutatorian. I was smart back in the day. Now I'm just an idiot.

  • I was 160lbs when I started and I went up to 195lbs. There were no steroids. But it was hard work, dedication, hitting the gym. You kind of see it.

  • I used to watch all my friends play with G.I. Joes. I couldn't afford them.

  • I'm good at coming up with wacky characters and funny dialogue.

  • Look, I want to be able to make the stupidest movies ever, because they make people laugh and they make money. But that's not all I want to do. And I think I've proven to some people - the ones paying attention - that I can do more. Everybody else, well, they can wait and see and make up their mind.

  • I'd like to see a ghost. It would confirm there's an afterlife.

  • I hate cooking. But I do make the candied yams every year at Thanksgiving. And they're awesome! You could definitely get diabetes and cavities from them, but they're delicious!

  • People don't understand how much time and work it takes to make somebody laugh, and how hard it is to write a script, to put together the story, the characters. When everyone laughs simultaneously, there's no greater feeling.

  • I got caught stealing when I was a kid from the local bodega right across the street from where we lived. I tried to steal a big bag of Red Hot Dollars. And I swear, I was about 7 years old and the bag was bigger'n me.

  • Comedy clubs can be brutal. Those people are for real, and if you aren't funny, they aren't laughing. They don't care who you are.

  • I want to do literally everything. I think I was gifted... I inherited one of the best comedy visionaries as a director.

  • Everyone thinks I'm a comedian - which I am and are. I was born into a comedic family but I'm trained as an actor.

  • Nobody loves me. No, everybody wanted me to do this one by myself, and I wanted to do it by myself. So, this is sorta like my first solo album. I didn't pull any tricks out of my hat, and just went with the natural flow of the film.

  • My sister Kim is like Lucille Ball. She's magical in terms of her performance and her writing.

  • I went to a performing arts high school, we learned Shakespeare, I did 'Fences.' When you train, you can do anything.

  • I got a man cave. I play my music loud. I bought big speakers because I need to hear music loud.

  • Gotta stay in the gym, stay funny, stay sharp. I just love working.

  • I don't want there to be this separation between the rich and poor. I may be part of the three percent because I've been fortunate and done well for myself, but I will never forget about the 97 percent. That was me growing up. I was so poor I dreamt about being just 'regular poor,' not 'poor, poor.'

  • I've never really lived with somebody. Only for very brief periods. I learned I'm not a good roommate. I'm better off when we visit each other. I like the mystery.

  • You need to be lucky in life, but it's also what you do with your luck.

  • f you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong.

  • I always feel that the best roles are written for white guys.

  • I sound like Jesse Jackson or Martin Luther King, but I honestly feel like the world is mature enough. And, for me, I just want to do good roles.

  • I want to be believable in anything I take on.

  • I want to be remembered as a guy who's not going to change your life but who is going to change your mood. As a guy who made you smile and say, "I miss him. He was a lot of fun."

  • Let me tell you, Barack Obama is the most down dude in the world, but he's so smart so articulate, such an amazing speaker such a passionate man. He's humble.

  • 'Paranormal 1' scared me because I didn't know if it was real or what. 'Blair Witch' was kind of scary for the same reason. It takes the voyeur element away and makes you think, 'Oh crap, this could really happen to me.'

  • We have a black President in the United States. I think the world has matured. It's no longer about colour, but the person in the skin.

  • Whatever role I do, I've got to do the work. It all starts with the body. Get that ready and everything else follows.

  • Success is not a destination, but the road that you're on.

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