Fruitcake quotes:

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Fruitcake is like semen, there's a lot of it about but no one wants to swallow it -- Oscar Wilde
We need more fruitcakes in this world, and less bakers! -- Jimmy Buffett
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us. -- Jimmy Buffett
You're going to set us all on fire, you homicidal feral fruitcake. -- Melina Marchetta
Bring on the fruitcakes, we want a fruitcake for an unlovable seat. -- Matthew Parris
Friends are the fruitcake of life - some nutty, some soaked in alcohol, some sweet. -- Jon Ronson
Franchot Tone is nuttier than a fruitcake, so don't let the genteel frosting fool you. -- Burgess Meredith
Political advice is a bit like your average Christmas fruitcake: something everyone gives and no one wants. -- Bob Dole
Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are. -- David Letterman
Reality is like a fruitcake; pretty enough to look at but with all sorts of nasty things lurking just beneath the surface. -- A. Lee Martinez
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. -- Johnny Carson
Have you ever known anyone who bought a fruitcake for himself? Of course not. They are purchased as Christmas gifts, mostly for people you don't particularly like. -- Phyllis Diller
We need more fruitcakes in this world and less bakers! We need people that care! I'm mad as hell! And I don't want to take it anymore! -- Jimmy Buffett
The thing with children is they're a bit like baking a fruitcake: you throw all the ingredients in but you never know how they're going to turn out. -- Len Goodman
the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in. -- Erma Bombeck
The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear safety glasses. -- Dave Barry
Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me," said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him. -- J. K. Rowling
I am not a morose person, but I would rather not be here. I don't have any reverence for life, only for the entities themselves. I would rather see a blank space where I am. This will sound like fruitcake stuff again but at least I wouldn't be harming anything. -- Ingrid Newkirk
Most people don't ever want to use a gun to protect themselves - that's the last thing they want to do - but if you know how and you have a situation with some fruitcake running around, like they've got right now, it sure can save you a lot of grief. -- Murphy J. Foster, Jr.
I would eat fruitcake if there'd been a nuclear war and I'd run out of canned goods. -- Deb Caletti
Declare this smite time, extracting precious gems and wholly hours you share to fruitcake a friend so dear. -- Bradley Chicho
The best thing about flying first class....was that you could be as nutty as a fruitcake and were still treated like the Queen of Sheba. -- Sarah-Kate Lynch

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