Tommy aka White Knife Quotes in The Ridiculous 6 (2015)

Ramon: So, do you new brothers have any special skills that could help us out here tonight?

Chico: Like what?

Ramon: Like you know, Tommy's good with knives, Lil Pete's got a bonus nipple, I got a burro, Herm is good at strangling.

Danny: I can hold my breath for six minutes.

Chico: Well, I can play the piano with my dick.

Tommy aka White Knife: Well, we're unstoppable then.

Never Wears Bra: [Walks out of her tepee and stretches] Good morning, boys,

Tommy aka White Knife: Good morning, Never Wears Bra.

Never Wears Bra: I had dream about you last night, White Knife.

Tommy aka White Knife: Oh, that's nice.

Never Wears Bra: Not nice dream. In dream you naughty, you naughty, White Knife.

Frank Stockburn: Somebody's got an admirer!

Ramon: My mother's Swedish.

Tommy aka White Knife: I don't think so. I reckon she's Mexican.

Ramon: Lying bitch!

Tommy aka White Knife: I'm in a bit of a bind, boys. I rode all the way out here to pan for gold and my horse up and died on me.

Rifleman: How'd he die?

Tommy aka White Knife: Suicide. Drowned himself. Put his head in the stream and just kept it there. Saddest thing you ever seen.

Tommy aka White Knife: Any of you handsome brothers ready to go steal a big hunk of gold?

Chico: I'm ready.

Ramon: I'm hungry.

Danny: I'm drunk.

Lil' Pete: And I'm Lil Pete.

Herm: [unintelligible]

Tommy aka White Knife: Let's get that nugget then...

Tommy aka White Knife: [Running between base plates] Where you going, nobody hit it.

Abner DoubleDay: I stole the base. You weren't looking so I stole it.

Chico: You said you could only advance after you hit the ball!

Abner DoubleDay: Not when you're stealing.

Short Stop: That's bullshit.

Abner DoubleDay: OK, Short Stop.

[first lines]

Clem: Lookie here. My day is made. I didn't even finish breakfast and I get to kill me a stinkin' Injun.

Tommy aka White Knife: Injun? Nah. I just dress like this so's I don't get scalped out on the prairie.

Clem: Oh, well, that's a convincing outfit. Yeah, you can't be too safe out there... with all of them savages runnin' around. So, what can I do you for?

Tommy aka White Knife: Need some flour. Five sacks. And a carrot with peanut butter on it. Now, what's that gonna run me?

Clem: Well, sack of flour's 45 cents. So, five sacks... is 40...

Tommy aka White Knife: Wanna get back to me on that?

Clem: Yeah, look. Now, the flour's in the basement. You can fetch it yourself.

Tommy aka White Knife: Much obliged.

Tommy aka White Knife: [Playing baseball] Okay, that's two past ya. So you're done, right?

Abner DoubleDay: No, no, I said three times.

Short Stop: No, you said two.

Abner DoubleDay: I said three! Three strikes and I'm out. I know what I said, shortstop. That's your new name, Short Stop, that's right. Now and forever, forever and ever, Short Stop, Short Stop, Short Stop.

[laughs]

[last lines]

Lil' Pete: Dear Mama, so much has changed since my last letter. I scarcely know where to begin. First off, it turns out our daddy is a bad, bad man, and he got thrown in jail. But it's okay, 'cause Screaming Eagle, the Indian chief who raised Tommy, said he'd be all our dads, too. I really like it here in this village. Our new brothers and sisters love to have fun and have been so nice to all of us.

Screaming Eagle: These white guys cannot dance!

Lil' Pete: Danny don't drink whiskey no more. And Ramon and Herm are trying to learn Indian ways. Oh, and big news. I finally have a girlfriend, and she's much prettier than a canty-loupe.

Tommy aka White Knife: [to Lil Pete & Beaver Breath] Come on you two, you're missing all the fun!

Lil' Pete: Anyways, Mama, thanks for raising me. Your loving son, Lil Pete, proud member of the Ridiculous 6.