The Colonel Quotes in War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)

The Colonel: All of human history has lead to this moment. The irony is we created you. And nature has been punishing us ever since. This is our last stand. And if we lose... it will be a Planet of Apes.

The Colonel: Have you come to save your apes?

Caesar: I came for you.

The Colonel: There are times when it is necessary to abandon our humanity to save humanity.

The Colonel: You are impressive. Smart as hell. You're stronger than we are. But you're taking this all much too personally. So emotional!

The Colonel: No matter what you say, eventually you'd replace us. That's the law of nature. So what would you have done?

The Colonel: The virus that almost wiped us out, that every human carries, will destroy humanity for good this time.

The Colonel: We find ourselves on the eve of battle against this beasts, and years from now, you can tell your children: I fought... to protect this world.

The Colonel: Have you finally come to save your apes?

Caesar: I came for you.

The Colonel: For me?

[pause]

The Colonel: My God. Look at your eyes. Almost human.

[pause]

The Colonel: How'd you know I was here?

Caesar: I was told... you were coming. That more soldiers from the north were will be joining you here.

The Colonel: Joining me here?

Caesar: To finish us off... for good.

[pause]

The Colonel: Who told you that?

[pause]

The Colonel: Ok. Let's go.

Caesar: How many men will be coming?

The Colonel: All of them.

The Colonel: This is the Holy War.

The Colonel: Do you have any idea what your mercy did to us?

The Colonel: They told me that you were smart, but that's... impressive.

The Colonel: We created them. But now... we will bring an end to their kind.

The Colonel: Humanity could be saved.

The Colonel: They fear me.

The Colonel: If we kill Caesar, humanity can be saved.

The Colonel: We need that girl.

The Colonel: All that hate's gonna burn you up, kid.

Robert: It keeps me warm.

The Colonel: You think you're tough for eating beans every day? There's half a million scarecrows in Denver who'd give anything for one mouthful of what you got. They've been under siege for about three months. They live on rats and sawdust bread and sometimes... on each other. At night, the pyres for the dead light up the sky. It's medieval.

The Colonel: It's a soldier's duty. You wouldn't understand.

The Colonel: It is not a soldier's duty to make policy. I follow my orders.

The Colonel: The brigadier wants you to know, your gallantry, your courage, your fortitude, are an inspiration. And I want you to know, that you are some of the finest soldiers I have ever seen. You have seen things in this place no man should witness... some of these things you must forget. For history will remember you. And in the years to come, others will wish that they had your conviction. Remember, remember that glory is not the exultation of war, but the exultation of man, man's nobility made transcendent in the fiery crucible of war. Faithfulness and fortitude... gentleness and compassion... I am honoured to be your brother.

The Colonel: There are those in Washington who believe the West will never be settled, the Northern Pacific Railroad will never breach Nebraska, a hostile Lakota will never submit to providence. And it is that kind of small-minded thinking that say this horse will never be tamed. Discipline, time, and patience are the three great levelers.

The Colonel: There aren't too many like you. Are there, Simon?

Simon: I'd like to think I'm pretty unique.

The Colonel: Come come, Matron. Surely you've seen a temperature taken like this before?

Matron: Yes Colonel. But never with a daffodil!

Beany: What's a helot?

The Colonel: You've ever been broke, sonny?

Beany: Sure, mostly often.

The Colonel: All right. You're walking along, not a nickel in your jeans, your free as the wind, nobody bothers ya. Hundreds of people pass you by in every line of business: shoes, hats, automobiles, radios, everything, and there all nice lovable people and they lets you alone, is that right? Then you get a hold of some dough and what happens, all those nice sweet lovable people become helots, a lotta heels. They begin to creep up on ya, trying to sell ya something: they get long claws and they get a stranglehold on ya, and you squirm and you duck and you holler and you try to push them away but you haven't got the chance. They gots ya. First thing ya know you own things, a car for instance, now your whole life is messed up with alot more stuff: you get license fees and number plates and gas and oil and taxes and insurance and identification cards and letters and bills and flat tires and dents and traffic tickets and motorcycle cops and tickets and courtrooms and lawers and fines and... a million and one other things. What happens? You're not the free and happy guy you used to be. You need to have money to pay for all those things, so you go after what the other fellas got. There you are, you're a helot yourself.

The Colonel: I don't read no papers, and I don't listen to radios either. I know the world's been shaved by a drunken barber, and I don't have to read it.

Long John Willoughby: Hey, stop worryin', Colonel, fifty bucks ain't gonna ruin me.

The Colonel: I've seen plenty of fellas start out with fifty bucks and wind up with a *bank* account!

Beany: Hey, what's wrong with a bank account, anyway?

The Colonel: And let me tell you, Long John, when you become a guy with a bank account, they gotcha! Yes sir, they gotcha!

Beany: Who's got him?

The Colonel: The helots!

The Colonel: $5,000. Holy mackerel! I can see the helots coming now. A whole army of them.

The Colonel: I've seen guys like you before. Guys that never had to worry. Then they get a hold of some dough and go goofy.

The Colonel: Gangway, you helots!

The Colonel: [criticizing John's anti-separatism speech] Tear down fences... why, if you tore one picket off your neighbor's fence, he'd sue you!

The Colonel: Get a hold of some dough and the first thing that happens to a guy is he wants to go into a restaurant and sit down to a table and eat salad and cupcakes and tea. Boy, what that kind of food does to your system!

The Colonel: Who are you to judge me?

El Topo: I am God!

The Colonel: Son...

The Colonel: Do you like me?

Jimmy Compton: Yes.

The Colonel: Do you love me?

Jimmy Compton: No.

The Colonel: [sad] Then you don't like me...