Tenoch Quotes in Y Tu Mamá También (2001)

Luisa: You have to make the clitoris your best friend.

Tenoch: What kind of friend is always hiding?

Tenoch: Did she blow you?

Julio Zapata: [looks away] Of course not man!

Tenoch: [angrily] Look me in the eyes asshole! Did she blow you?

Julio Zapata: No.

Tenoch: Did you blow her? You fucking pig!

Julio Zapata: Of course not, c'mon!

Tenoch: Did she come?

Julio Zapata: How could I know? It happened really fast, maybe she didn't.

Tenoch: Did she like it?

Julio Zapata: I don't know.

Tenoch: Did you like it, asshole?

Julio Zapata: No dude! No! I really felt like shit, I mean it!

[beat]

Julio Zapata: I wanted to tell you.

Tenoch: [shouts] Fuck you asshole! You fucked up our friendship, you fucked up my trust, you fucked my girl! You fucked up! Even when I brought from Lake Tahoe your fucking comics and the fucking dress for Ana, that whore!

Julio Zapata: Tenoch, I'm sorry man, it was an accident, really.

Tenoch: An accident?

[angrily]

Tenoch: You poke some girl's eye by accident, asshole! You don't fuck her! You don't fuck her!

Julio Zapata: [shyly] Right... right.

Julio Zapata: [walking out of the shower naked] You're full of shit, man.

Tenoch: [laughing] I maybe full of shit... but, you've got one ugly dick. It looks like a deflated balloon.

Julio Zapata: Well, come and blow it up for me, asshole!

Alejandro 'Jano' Montes de Oca: I didn't know you want to be a writer. What are you going to write about, "fine boys"?

Tenoch: No, about faggots like you.

Alejandro 'Jano' Montes de Oca: Well, let me tell you that there is a big difference between writing highschool tales and producing actual literature.

Tenoch: When do you begin?

Alejandro 'Jano' Montes de Oca: Have you read my book already?

Tenoch: I read the critics.

Alejandro 'Jano' Montes de Oca: Critics are a bunch of assholes

Tenoch: [after Tenoch discovers that Ana has cheated on him with Julio] How many times did you fuck her?

Julio Zapata: Only once, we were really shitfaced

Tenoch: When did you guys do it?

Julio Zapata: I don't know

Tenoch: When? Tell me when!

Julio Zapata: When you went to Lake Tahoe

Tenoch: Where did you do it?

Julio Zapata: I think it was in a party

Tenoch: What party asshole?

Julio Zapata: I think it was the one with the Fruit Loop

Tenoch: The place where Saba popped her cherry?

Julio Zapata: [laughs] I think so!

Tenoch: [angrily] What are you laughing at asshole? Don't laugh fucker!

Julio Zapata: Traveling is really cool

Tenoch: Yeah, but with mushrooms! You've never stepped into a single plane

Diego 'Saba' Madero: [giving Tenoch directions with the aid of a map] So you go this way, and then you take this road, and you...

Tenoch: Saba, screw off, that's a river!

Tenoch: Me too

Luisa: You too what Tenoch?

Tenoch: Julio! Me too faggot!

Julio Zapata: You too what?

Tenoch: I fucked Ceci, your girlfriend!

Luisa: What?

Julio Zapata: That's not true! When?

Tenoch: After the Plastilina concert

Julio Zapata: Fuck! That's why you took me home first, right? Where!

Tenoch: In my house

Julio Zapata: In your house asshole!

Tenoch: She was wearing the panties with flowers on them!

Tenoch: Who fucks better between us? The truth!

Luisa: Despite the fiasco, you each have your own charms. Both have to quit whacking off and work up your resistance... Both of you, stop whacking off

[She turns to the waiter]

Luisa: These boys don't know how to go down on a girl. You were slurping like this was a lollipop. You have to be gentle. You have to make the clitoris your best friend... Search and you shall find. The greatest pleasure is giving pleasure.

Tenoch: Hail to the clit!

Julio Zapata: Hail to the clit!

Luisa: Hail to the clit!

Tenoch: I fucked Ceci a few times

Julio Zapata: No big deal. I poked Ana a bunch of times.

Tenoch: So we're milk brothers!

[Luisa toast]

Luisa: To your girlfriends who are having 10 Italians at a time!

Julio Zapata: And your mother, too! You know?... Honestly, the day she cleaned my aura

[two boys raised their shot glasses]

Tenoch: Luisa! To all mothers!

Julio Zapata: Luisa! To all mothers!

Tenoch: How many times did you fuck her?

Julio Zapata: Once, we were really wasted

Tenoch: When did you do it

Julio Zapata: I don't know

Tenoch: Tell me when!

Julio Zapata: When you went to Lake Tahoe

Tenoch: Where was Cecilia?

Julio Zapata: She was sick

Tenoch: Where did you two did it?

Julio Zapata: I don't know

Tenoch: What do you mean you don't know asshole?

Julio Zapata: I think it was in a party

Tenoch: What party asshole?

Julio Zapata: I think it was at Fruit Loop's place

Tenoch: Where Saba popped her cherry?

Julio Zapata: [laughs] I think so!

Tenoch: [angrily] What are you laughing at fucker? Don't laugh faggot!