Luisa Quotes in Y Tu Mamá También (2001)

Luisa: Life is like the surf, so give yourself away like the sea.

Luisa: You have to make the clitoris your best friend.

Tenoch: What kind of friend is always hiding?

Luisa: Who cares who you two fucked when you come that fast!

Luisa: Play with babies and you'll end up washing diapers!

Tenoch: Me too

Luisa: You too what Tenoch?

Tenoch: Julio! Me too faggot!

Julio Zapata: You too what?

Tenoch: I fucked Ceci, your girlfriend!

Luisa: What?

Julio Zapata: That's not true! When?

Tenoch: After the Plastilina concert

Julio Zapata: Fuck! That's why you took me home first, right? Where!

Tenoch: In my house

Julio Zapata: In your house asshole!

Tenoch: She was wearing the panties with flowers on them!

Tenoch: Who fucks better between us? The truth!

Luisa: Despite the fiasco, you each have your own charms. Both have to quit whacking off and work up your resistance... Both of you, stop whacking off

[She turns to the waiter]

Luisa: These boys don't know how to go down on a girl. You were slurping like this was a lollipop. You have to be gentle. You have to make the clitoris your best friend... Search and you shall find. The greatest pleasure is giving pleasure.

Tenoch: Hail to the clit!

Julio Zapata: Hail to the clit!

Luisa: Hail to the clit!

Tenoch: I fucked Ceci a few times

Julio Zapata: No big deal. I poked Ana a bunch of times.

Tenoch: So we're milk brothers!

[Luisa toast]

Luisa: To your girlfriends who are having 10 Italians at a time!

Julio Zapata: And your mother, too! You know?... Honestly, the day she cleaned my aura

[two boys raised their shot glasses]

Tenoch: Luisa! To all mothers!

Julio Zapata: Luisa! To all mothers!

Luisa: You get babies to look after, you end up changing their diapers!

[Tired of fighting]

Luisa: We do things my way! One more fight and I'm gone for good!... Now we play by my rules. I won't fuck with any of you. Fuck each other, if you wish. 2. I sunbathe naked and I don't want you sniffing around like dogs. 3. I pick the music. 4. The moment I ask, please shut your mouths. 5. You cook. 6. No stories about your poor girlfriends. 7. If I ask, stay 10 yards from me. Or better 100. 8. Obviously, you do all the manual labor. 9. You may not speak of things you don't agree on. Even better, just keep your mouths shut. 10. You're not allowed to contradict me, much less push me.

Newsvendor: What can I do you for?

Luisa: I would like to buy this newspaper.

Newsvendor: Well now, you should buy this one here as well. The Tri-State Defender.

Luisa: No, thank you. I think I need only this one.

Newsvendor: Well, you know, you only need one leg to get around on if that's all you got. But it sure helps having two, now, doesn't it?

Luisa: Oh, well, uh, yes. This one too.

Newsvendor: How about some magazines?

[first lines]

Juan: The shadow monster woke up. It saw the boy in the pot and said:

Juan: [making his voice gruff] "Mmmm. I'm starving. I'm going to eat you up."

Juan: So the monster opened his mouth wide and swallowed the little tailor whole. The boy fell and fell into a dark cave filed with slime...

Luisa: Is that it?

Juan: That's all I could come up with.

Luisa: Well, you'll think of something tomorrow. Let's go to bed.