soldier Quotes in American Sniper (2014)

[first lines]

Chris Kyle: It's a fuckin' hot-box.

soldier: The fuckin' dirt here tastes like dog shit.

Chris Kyle: Ah, well you'd know, wouldn't you?

Soldier: WE ARE THE BEGINNING!

Platoon: AND THE END!

Soldier: Get in!

Henri Ducard: Are you so desperate to fight criminals that you lock yourself in to take them on one at a time?

Bruce Wayne: Actually, there were uh, seven of them.

Henri Ducard: I counted six, Mr. Wayne.

Bruce Wayne: How do you know my name?

Henri Ducard: The world is too small for someone like Bruce Wayne to disappear, no matter how deep he chooses to sink.

Bruce Wayne: Who are you?

Henri Ducard: My name is merely Ducard, but I speak for Ra's al Ghul, a man greatly feared by the criminal underworld. A man who could offer you a path.

[Morse, the last survivor of Fury, limps out of the prison with the company guards]

Soldier: Come on, move it!

Morse: [grinning] Aw, fuck you!

Soldier: Outta the way, Peck!

Lt. Muldoon: Get Lewis down here.

Soldier: He's getting his dick wet, sir.

Lt. Muldoon: Get him the fuck down here... NOW!

Soldier: [mockingly] That cut looks painful.

Tank Girl: I *like* pain.

Soldier: What else do you like?

Tank Girl: Hot oil. Vacuum attachments. Yup. Hey, which of you gorgeous guys would like an oil change, hmm?

[the Soldier starts to get up]

Second Soldier: Don't be stupid, she's gonna...

[the Soldier shakes him off]

Second Soldier: ...bite it off.

Soldier: [stands in front of her and puts his gun to her head] The moment I feel teeth, you feel lead.

[He unzips his pants, she does nothing]

Soldier: Well? What are you waiting for?

Tank Girl: I'm gonna need a microscope and tweezers, it's like, uh...

[furious, the Soldier knees her in the face, while the others laugh and snicker]

Tank Girl: Whoa... you're gonna have to stop this... you're really getting me hot.

[the soldier kneels down and tries to rape her, but she raises both legs and wrenches his neck with her boots, killing him instantly; all the soldiers yell "FREEZE!" and train their guns in her face]

Tank Girl: ...What?

Soldier: You've been stealing water.

[points his gun in Rebecca's face]

Soldier: Not smart.

Second Soldier: Whoa, whoa, whoa! We could have a lot of fun with this one.

[Rebecca's pet cow lows]

Soldier: Well, well... don't you know you shouldn't own animals?

[shoots the bull]

Soldier: There's a water shortage.

Tank Girl: [spits in his face] There's your water!

Soldier: Slitting a little girl's throat is like cutting warm butter.

Bennett: Put the knife away and shut your mouth.

Major General Franklin Kirby: Keep on the airwaves and let me know if you hear anything unusual.

Soldier: I'll keep at it. What are you expecting?

Major General Franklin Kirby: World War Three.

Guy of Gisborne: C'mon, damn you! There're only three of them!

Soldier: It's not the men we fear, sir. It's the evil spirits.

Guy of Gisborne: Robin of the Hood! Son of a devil worshipper! Your father died a coward, cursing your name and squealling like a stuck pig!

Azeem: You will bring no justice to your father by dying today.

Soldier: [after restraining Marian at daggerpoint] I've never seen the breasts of a noblewoman before.

[first lines]

Troy Barlow: Are we shooting?

Soldier: What?

Troy Barlow: Are we shootin' people or what?

Soldier: Are we shooting?

Troy Barlow: That's what I'm asking you!

Soldier: What's the answer?

Troy Barlow: I don't know the answer! That's what I'm trying to find out!

Beowulf: They say you have a monster here. They say your lands are cursed.

Soldier: Is that what they say?

Wiglaf: Bards sing of Hrothgar's shame from the frozen north to the shores of Vinland.

Soldier: There's no shame to be accursed by demons.

Beowulf: I am Beowulf and I'm here to kill your monster.

Wiglaf: Heave! Heave! Heave! Heave! Beowulf. Hold fast.

Beowulf: No.

Soldier: Who are you? From your dress, you are warriors. Speak! Why should I not run you though right now?

Beowulf: We are Geats. I am Beowulf, son of Edgethow. We come seeking your Prince Hrothgar in friendship.

Kaneda (2001 Pioneer dub): Kaneda? What are you doing in here?

Tetsuo (2001 Pioneer dub): Tetsuo! Are you okay? I'm here for the rescue! Hurry up! What are you? Stupid? If we don't get outta here, those...

[several army soldiers enter the room]

Soldier: There he is! Capture him!

Kaneda (2001 Pioneer dub): You keep away!

[Tetsuo uses his telekinetic powers to forcibly blast the soldiers away by lifting the floor, which also throws Kaneda hurtfully]

Kei (2001 Pioneer dub): Kaneda!

Kaneda (2001 Pioneer dub): Oh, that's right! I forgot you were there. There, do you see, Kaneda? I won't be needing you to come to the rescue me ever again, okay? From now on, I'll be in charge of the heroics. So, if you need any saving, just ask, Kanny.

Tetsuo (2001 Pioneer dub): Damn it, Tetsuo! Who the hell do you think you're talking to, ya moron?

Kaneda (2001 Pioneer dub): Ha! You don't like what you're hearing, do ya? Makes you angry? So what are you gonna do now? Well, Kaneda? What are you gonna do now?

Soldier: The Mariachi has escaped.

Marquez: You too will escape.

[shoots him]

Soldier: Hey Telford! What was *your* chicken-shit outfit doing while we were taking Grenada?

[He and his comrades burst out laughing]

Maj. Grant: Grenada. Five minutes of firefights, five weeks of surfing!

Cpl. Telford: I wish I was with you guys for that!

Maj. Grant: Yeah. Me too, kid.

Cpl. Telford: Really, sir?

Maj. Grant: Sure. Or we wouldn't have to do this.

[Grant promptly pulls out a knife and slits Telford's throat. Telford gasps and then falls over, dead. Grant pulls out a radio and punches in the three digit descrambler code]

Maj. Grant: Eagle Nest, this is Hatchling. We're on schedule, and in position.

[cuts to Colonel Stuart on the other end]

Col. Stuart: Roger, Hatchling. We are secure here. You have a green light, I repeat, a *green* light.

Pinkley: [impersonating a General] Where are you from, son?

Soldier: Madison City, Missouri, sir!

Pinkley: Never heard of it.

Soldier: 1. Down to the road block, we've just begun 2. The guards are through 3. The Major's men are on a spree 4. Major and Wladislaw go through the door 5. Pinkley stays out in the drive 6. The Major gives the rope a fix 7. Wladislaw throws the hook to heaven 8. Jimenez has got a date 9. The other guys go up the line 10. Sawyer and Lever are in the pen 11. Posey guards points five and seven 12. Wladislaw and the Major go down to delve 13. Franko goes up without being seen 14. Zero-hour - Jimenez cuts the cable, Franko cuts the phone 15. Franko goes in where the others have been 16. We all come out like it's Halloween.

[first lines]

Soldier: Valhalla, this is Thor. Valhalla, this is Thor. We have visual on a possible high value target.

Soldier: They swam a mile and a half in four minutes?

Colonel Perry: They're eight seconds behind schedule.

Pastor Dr. Matthew Collins: I think we should try to make them understand we mean them no harm. They are living creatures out there.

Sylvia: But they're not human. Dr. Forrester says they're some kind of advanced civilization.

Pastor Dr. Matthew Collins: If they're more advanced than us, they should be nearer the creator for that reason. No real attempt has been made to communicate with them, you know?

Sylvia: Let's go back inside, Uncle Matthew.

Pastor Dr. Matthew Collins: I've done all I can in there. You go back. Sylvia, I like that Dr. Forrester, he's a good man.

Soldier: Who's that? What's he think he's doing?

Sylvia: Uncle! Uncle Matthew!

Major General Mann: It's too late now. He's too far away.

Pastor Dr. Matthew Collins: Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.

Forrester: It's seen him!

Pastor Dr. Matthew Collins: Thou anointest my head with oil. My cup runneth over. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord, forever.

[Martians kill Uncle Matthew]

Sylvia: [scream]

Col. Ralph Heffner: Let'm have it!

Soldier: Fire!

Dino: [to his injured man] Look at me. Look at me. Who am I?

soldier: [looks up at him] You're an asshole.

Soldier: We are the soldiers of liberation!

Governor Kolp: So speech makes them human?

Soldier: Speech makes them intelligent. And intelligence makes them not human, but humane.

Soldier: We get attacked everyday at this base so look alive

Soldier: Where is your invitation, Senor Beaver?

Hansan: This is an M-1, semi-automatic, high velocity...

Soldier: Look, you're not selling it to me, you're showing me how to fire it.

Army Doctor: Okay, Colonel Peckem, last test is negative. You're all clean, virus free. We can sign you out. The helicopter will be arriving in a few minutes.

Col. Peckem: Any news from Deitrich?

Army Doctor: They're sending a new man from the Trixie project to take over as Dr. Watts' replacement. He should be here in the morning. If only we knew what Watts was working on. We checked the slides he left behind in his microscope and his notes, but we can't make heads or tails out of any of it. He was onto something, we know that. We'll dope it out sooner or later.

Col. Peckem: [sighs] Sooner or later.

Army Doctor: I understand that they found a Reeces monkey at Deitrich, immune. We'll fund a human subject sooner or later.

Col. Peckem: Yeah... sooner or later.

[a soldier arrives with David, whom is not showing symptoms]

Soldier: Hey, you want an immunity check on this one, Doc?

Army Doctor: [to the soldier] Are you kidding me? Put him with the others!

[both Peckem and David make eye contact with each other, in which David smirks and he is taken away by the soldier, as Colonel Peckem also walks away towards the landing zone area]

Soldier: [on the radio] I threw them hand grenades, I ran out of hand grenades. My launcher is useless. One of the machine guns is not working. It is not working. Everything depends on you. My men are down.

Soldier: Did we already come this way?

Captain Wright: No. That was another way.

Soldier: How can you tell? It all looks the same to me.

Captain Wright: Who's wearin' the bars, private?

Maggie: Hiro! Gimme a hand! Help me with the bag!

Hiro: The sky could fall and women could still go shopping.

Maggie: What a stupid thing to say.

Maggie: I just bought food for a few weeks, that's plain common sense if you ask me.

Hiro: You'll make some lucky man a lovely wife.

Maggie: Very funny.

Hiro: Well, we just about got it all in.

Maggie: Your car is pretty sporty, but not practical.

Hiro: Tell Rob what ya think of it. It's his car.

Maggie: Hmmm, Rob's car? Don't you have one?

[Hiro starts driving fast]

Maggie: Hey take it easy! if you attract attention, he might fire at us! There are soldiers everywhere! They're flagging us down, better pull over.

Soldier: Identification?

Hiro: I'm not carrying it.

Soldier: Well that's real stupid.

Maggie: Here you are!

General Shi Yan-sheng: The Master Abbot sent you?

Child Monk: [nods head] Your roots of wisdom are slight, your sins serious. In this life you're unlikely to attain the highest wisdom. I'll show you the way. Success or failure is in your hands. Observe the prohibitions, be ascetic, work hard for progress in the next life. Then you can see the light of Buddha after centuries.

Soldier: You... you've been a monk for long?

Child Monk: Ten years.

General Shi Yan-sheng: How old are you?

Child Monk: Ten.

General Shi Yan-sheng: Your parents sent you here?

Child Monk: No parents. Empty of all burden.

Fat Soldier: My tummy is empty. How about supper?

Child Monk: You've had it!

Fat Soldier: I haven't!

Child Monk: Monks have one meal a day. No eating after midday.

[Two soldiers are bothering Sophie]

Howl: There you are sweetheart, sorry I'm late. I was looking everywhere for you.

Soldier: Hey, hey! We're busy here!

Howl: Are you really? To me, it looked like the two of you were just leaving.

[gestures with his hand, the soldiers are forced to march away]

Soldier: Archer! You're a dead man!

Danny Archer: Ja, ja.

Soldier: Hello, hello, hello, hello!

[walks over to Danny]

Soldier: Papers, please.

Danny Archer: Danny Archer. National Geographic.

[hands officer documents]

Soldier: You're crossing into Liberia.

Danny Archer: Uh-I've got a letter from the Minister of Interior, and a Liberian visa as well. I'm doing a story on the "Maraquez"

[takes out smokes]

Danny Archer: , who as you know, are allowed to cross the border in order to get into the grazing grounds. You ever, read National Geographic huh?

[takes one, and offers a smoke]

Danny Archer: [Officer, taking the whole packet, gives back documents, takes out knife, and inspects the goats. After a while, finds diamonds sewn into the back of a goat]

Soldier: [takes the diamons, walks back to Danny] You are under arrest... for smuggling.

Danny Archer: No, no, listen here my friend, listen here all right. I'm good friends with Colonel Coetzee, Colonel Coetzee would not be pleased that you've interfered with his business. Now, you know who I am, all right? You don't wanna make trouble for me or my friends right? Now look, why don't I just look the other way, all right, you take one or two of those stones, you get something lekker for the wife, or maybe the mistress all right? We solve the problem right here?

Soldier: [steps forward] We go back to Free Town, and ask Colonel Coetzee how he wishes to thank his business associates.

[looks back]

Soldier: Guys, take him away.

Soldier: She reminds me of my wife.

Soldier: [Before chopping off the hand of a man] Short sleeve or long sleeve?

Horatio Jackson: Ah, the officer who risked his life by singlehandedly destroying...

Functionary: [whispering in his ear] Six.

Horatio Jackson: *Six* enemy cannon and rescuing...

Functionary: Ten.

Horatio Jackson: Ten of our men held captive by The Turk.

Heroic Officer: Yes, sir.

Horatio Jackson: The officer about whom we've heard so much.

Heroic Officer: I suppose so, sir.

Horatio Jackson: Always taking risks far beyond the call of duty.

Heroic Officer: I only did my best, sir.

Horatio Jackson: Have him executed at once.

Soldier: Yes, sir. Come along.

Horatio Jackson: This sort of behavior is demoralizing for the ordinary soldiers and citizens who are trying to lead normal, simple, unexceptional lives. I think things are difficult enough as it is without these emotional people rocking the boat.

Horatio Jackson: Take this man, Baron. He has today shown a commendable level of Bravery, far beyond the call of Duty.

Soldier: That's all right, sir. Proud to be doing my job.

Horatio Jackson: Have him executed at once.

[Soldier is dragged away]

Horatio Jackson: We can't have such emotional people demoralising the average citizen.

Colonel Pitts: Where you from, son?

Soldier: Omaha, sir.

Colonel Pitts: By this time next year pigeons are going to be crapping on statues of you across the whole damn state of Nebraska.

Soldier: It's a fox, sir! They've got a bloody fox!

Ward: Will, that was incredible!

Becky: Incredibly foolish! You could have been killed Will Stoneman.

Will Stoneman: Well how many times is there an army truck in the middle of the street? I've been coming around this corner my whole life and has there ever been an army truck in the middle of the street?

Soldier: Nice piece of runnin' there. So, how old are you pal?

Will Stoneman: Seventeen

Soldier: Think you'll be ready to fight a war in a year?

Will Stoneman: I'm ready now, uh, war with who?

[Soldier laughs]

Soldier: Stay alive buddy, your country might need you.

Union Soldier: They're just kids from a military school.

Soldier: Yeah, but they keep comin'.

Col. John Marlowe: How many men does it take to look after one lone female?

Union Soldier: We was respectful, real respectful, Colonel.

Soldier: You told us it was all right as long as we could see the top of her head.

Miss Hannah Hunter: You said that?

Col. John Marlowe: Well, uh...

Miss Hannah Hunter: Then there's one more thing...

[slaps Marlow hard]

Major Kendall: How old are you?

Soldier: Thirty-two, sir.

Major Kendall: Stand with that group over there.

Gort, Giant: I'd sooner eat cowdung.

Soldier: That can be arranged, and you can wash it down with your own blood if need be.

Soldier: Colonel, there's someone coming up to see you, they just let him through the barrier.

Dr. Romarantin: Doctor Lucious Romarantin. Founder and pastor of the Holy Churches of Dark Arts, Raleigh, North Carolina. I understand the great god Vulcan has chosen to make his appearance in this half of the world, am I correct, gentlemen?

Col. Arnholt: [Colonel looks to David Jackson, both are in stunned silence]

Dr. Romarantin: Gentlemen, there's a volcano in the area, Mount St. Helens I believe?

David Jackson: ...Yes, that's right.

Dr. Romarantin: Well, I believe, I've found a way to appease the great god Vulcan!

Col. Arnholt: How are you gonna do that?

Dr. Romarantin: Colonel, you will be our holy escort to the top of the mountain. Now, you will escort Pamela and myself - she's fifteen years old, and a virgin. After a brief ceremony at the top of that fiery inferno, she will hurl herself into the jaws of that treacherous, teething fire, and thereby appease the great god Vulcan. The mountain will not erupt, and your people will be saved!

David Jackson: ...What do you feel about this, Pamela?

Pamela: Whatever the Doctor says.

David Jackson: Well, Doctor, I don't want you to think that we're not grateful, you coming all the way from Raleigh and all, but we'd like to try a couple of other things first. Maybe we could hold you in reserve? And if we do get to sacrificing, I think we'd like to use a local girl.

Dr. Romarantin: Don't say I never gave you a chance! Don't even know if she'll be a virgin tomorrow! It's alright, honey, we'll find another volcano for you.

Soldier: [holding back his attack] I'll not fight with a lady.

Claire: [thrusting her rapier at the soldier] I'm no lady when I fight!

Soldier: Hey, sister! What's in your carriage?

Ursula: Candles! To the holy sisters!

Kyle: WUUUUaaahh! WUUUaaaaahhhhh!

Soldier: Hey, you hear that? Sounds like a giraffe's dying over there!

Soldier: [marching by the Broflovskis' house] And I don't know what I've been told / Canadian pussy is mighty cold.

Soldier: Mr. Gandhi, sir. I have been instructed to inquire the subject of your speech tonight.

Gandhi: The value of goat's milk in daily diet. But you can be sure that I will also speak against war.

Soldier: Where ya goin', General?

Patton: Berlin. I'm going to personally shoot that paper-hangin' sonofabitch.

Soldier: What silly son of a bitch is in charge of this operation?

General Omar N. Bradley: I don't know, but they oughta hang him.

[the Kray twins have been called up for National Service in the Army]

Drill Sergeant: You are not people any more. You are not human beings. You are part of a machine. You do not wear what you want to, think what you want to - you wear what we tell you, think what we tell you, eat when we tell you, sleep, shit and fuck when we tell you!

[a soldier giggles]

Drill Sergeant: Someone stick a feather up your arse, lad?

Soldier: Sarge?

Drill Sergeant: You're grinning like a bloody Cheshire cat!

[Ronnie and Reggie start walking away]

Drill Sergeant: And where do you little darlings think you're off to?

Reggie Kray: Home, for a cup of tea with our mum.

Drill Sergeant: Get your nasty little arses back in here!

Reggie Kray: Look, you've got nothing to say and you're saying it too loudly. So...

Ronald Kray: ...Bollocks!

[the other soldiers laugh]

Drill Sergeant: QUIET!

[the Sergeant tries to restrain Ronnie and Reggie, so, in perfect synchrony, they both floor him with a punch]

Soldier: I have orders to bring you to Herod, Baptist.

John the Baptist: I have orders to bring you to God... heathen.

Bar Amand: The Messiah has come! A man was dead but now he lives!

Uriah: I was crippled, and now I walk!

Old Aram: I was blind, and now I see!

Soldier: Who has done this?

Old Aram: The man called Jesus!

Soldier: He's the greatest General since Sergeant York!

Soldier: [MacArthur arrives at front lines and starts to get out of jeep] General, sir! Excuse me, sir, but we just killed a Jap sniper here not five minutes ago!

Gen. Douglas MacArthur: Fine, son! That's the best thing to do with 'em!

Dan Trunkman: I'm next on the upgrade list... I would give you my seat but I've never been upgraded.

Soldier: That's all right.

Dan Trunkman: But I appreciate you. It is an honor to sit in front of you... Okay please, I'd like you to have this seat.

Soldier: [stabbing at Ash's car] What a piece of armor this is!

Ainsworth: I'm afraid we've got a bit of a problem... you see one of our officers has

[sotto voice]

Ainsworth: Lost a leg. We think it's a tiger...

Soldier: In Africa?

Pakenham: Sh, sh sh...

Soldier: Those lights are blinking out of sequence.

Murdock: Make them blink in sequence.

Jordan Roark: I mean, why do you want to kill yourself? It's not going to make her come back to you.

Soldier: But it'll put me out of my misery. And it'll hurt her. She'll never be the same.

Jordan Roark: You're wrong. Because time will pass and she'll be fine.

Soldier: How do you know?

Jordan Roark: Because that's the way it works.

Soldier: How do you know?

Jordan Roark: It has to be.

Soldier: He was from my village. He was the village idiot.

Boris: Yeah, what did you do, place?

Soldier: The idea is not to panic and run... then they shoot you in the back.

Soldier: I don't want to be trampled by a horse. What about you, Boris?

Boris: [sarcastically] Yeah, I want to be trampled by a horse. I don't even want to fight.

Soldier: Oh, God is testing us.

Boris: If He's gonna test us, why doesn't He give us a written?

Gen. Lecoq: Now men, because you are all getting a three-day furlough before going into battle, we would like to show you this little hygiene play.

[the actors step forward and the play begins]

Woman hygiene class: Goodbye. I hope you had a good time.

Soldier: I did. I had a good time. Oh, what's this sore on my lip? I better see the doctor.

[He steps to his right and another actor stands up]

Soldier: Doc, I have this sore on my lip.

Doctor: You have a social disease my friend.

Soldier: Oh my God!

Doctor: If you do not treat it, you will go blind... Or insane!

[Applause]

Gen. Lecoq: Well men, that is the end of the play. Have a good time on your furlough and take care of yourselves.

Soldier: Well, what did you think of the play?

Boris: Oh, it was weak. I was never interested. Although the part of the doctor was played with gusto and verve and the girl had a delightful cameo role. A puckish satire of contemporary mores. A droll spoof aimed more at the heart than the head.

Soldier: As for me I'm planning to spend the next three days in a brothel. Care to come with me?

Boris: No, I went to a brothel once in my life. I got hiccups you know, it was over like that.

Sergeant: And now we're going to see a little hygiene play.

Woman hygiene class: Goodbye. I hope you had a good time!

Soldier: Oh yes, I had a good time. Oh, what's this sore on my lip. I'd better get that checked. Doctor, I have this sore on my lip.

Doctor: You have a social disease! If you don't treat it you'll go blind! Or insane!

[Thunderous applause]

Sergeant: Have a good furlough everyone, and look after yourselves!

Soldier: You're not Mrs. Rochard!

Capt. Henri Rochard: I'm MISTER Rochard.

Soldier: Well, it's your WIFE who must report here for transportation to Bremerhaven.

Capt. Henri Rochard: According to the War Department, I AM my wife.

Soldier: You can't be your wife!

Capt. Henri Rochard: If the American army says that I CAN be my wife, who am I to dispute them?

Laura Henderson: Are you American?

Soldier: Yes ma'am.

Laura Henderson: Oh! Americans! Strange people, lovely manners.

Soldier: I wish I could live in my dreams. Do you dream?

Jack Fate: Yeah, I dream. I dream that I'm walking through fire... Intense heat. I don't pay much attention to my dreams.

Soldier: My One goes off like a gun! My Two is like a bolt from the blue!

Soldier: My Three is a spree! My Four likes to score!

Soldier: My Five takes a dive! My Six knows all the tricks!

Soldier: My Seven goes to heaven! My Eight never comes late!

Jagoda: Never?

Soldier: Care to try?

Soldier: Do you theater people have these canteens all over the country?

Ed Wynn: Oh sure we do. We've got canteens... Why they have one canteen in Washington D.C. It's the darnedest thing you ever saw. They don't have famous actors waiting on the soldiers like they do here. Down in Washington, congressmen wait on the boys. Those boys will starve to death down there you mark my words.

Soldier: Why Mr. Wynn.

Ed Wynn: Well, you know how long it takes for a congressman to pass anything.

[first lines]

Soldier: He's clean.

Benny Begin: So, why are you here? Hm?

[while flying in a helicopter with Air Cavalry soldiers]

Chef: Why do all you guys sit on your helmets?

Soldier: So we don't get our balls blown off.

Willard: Hey soldier, do you know who's in command here?

Soldier: Ain't you?

[the redux version]

Willard: Who's in charge here?

Soldier: In charge? I don't know, man. I'm just doing what I'm told - I'm just a working girl.

Soldier: Cease fire! Cease fire!

Flynn: Having fun down there Doyle?

Doyle: Kiss my ass! This is the worst combat I've ever seen. Where's the fucking combat?

Rooftop Soldier: Give me something to shoot.

Flynn: Too easy. Medical sector, east side, fat guy, jerking off in the toilet.

Rooftop sniper: Ah... bug nuts, I saw him yesterday.

Soldier: I don't see him. Where is Fester Fuck nut?

Rooftop Soldier: There, look! Bald guy with his dick in hands on the 20th floor.

Soldier: We've located one man and one female, We're headed there now. Come on, it's not safe, let's go...

Pontius Pilate: Who is this broken man cluttering up my hallway? Who is this unfortunate?

Soldier: Someone Christ, King of the Jews.

Woman: I think I've seen you somewhere... I remember! You were with that man they took away; I recognize your face.

Peter: You've got the wrong man, lady! I don't know him! And I wasn't where he was tonight, never near the place.

Man: That's strange, for I am sure I saw you with him. You were right by his side, and yet you denied.

Peter: I tell you I was never, ever with him!

Soldier: But I saw you too; it looked just like you!

Peter: I don't know him!

Mary Magdalene: Peter, don't you know what you just said? You've gone and called him dead.

Peter: I had to do it, don't you see? Or else they'd go for me!

Mary Magdalene: It's what he told us you would do. I wonder how he knew?

SSgt. Eddie Dohun: Where's the captain?

Soldier: Dead.

SSgt. Eddie Dohun: Didn't ask you how he was. I asked you where he was.

Soldier: Open the door.

Jack: I don't think that's a good idea.

Soldier: [Steps off the bus] Okay, Close the door behind me...

[creature attacks]

Soldier: Where's your sentries, Craig?

[to his other men]

Soldier: Little Bo Peep has lost his sheep!

Soldier: What is a man? Not poetry or morality. He's a mass of lust and greed that absorbs and excretes.

Soldier: Where is Fidel?

Captured Revolutionary #1: Fidel? I am Fidel.

Soldier: Where is Fidel?

Captured Revolutionary #2: I am Fidel!

Captured Revolutionary #3: I am Fidel.

Soldier: You got here a bit too late, sir. They're going to hit Yongary any minute. They'll be using guided missiles. You better go. They're going to hit Yongary any minute. They'll be using guided missiles. You better go.

Soldier: If there's more than one major on the train, how are we to know which one to arrest ?

Gestapo Officer: Our man has a Gestapo officer watching him.

Soldier: Hmpf. Who has not these days ?

[Karyakin and Nekrasov are about to be mistakenly executed]

Army Commander: What's going on?

Ivan Karyakin: We're being executed!

Army Commander: The execution is canceled!

Soldier: We don't mind.

Andrei Nekrasov: We mind even less.

Captain Nathan Brittles: [noticing the horse] Sidesaddle, Riley?

Soldier: Sidesaddle, sir.

Soldier: Relax. Dyin' ain't so bad. You've been doing it since the day you were born.