Shale Quotes in The Substitute (1996)

Shale: Did you ever look up the word "mercenary"? It's someone who "works merely for money."

Joey: Everybody works for money.

Shale: It's not the money that bothers me; it's the "merely."

[Shale confronts Juan Lacas and his cronies in the library]

Shale: Ohh, I can't tell you boys how much I needed this.

Juan Lacas: When we're done, I want you to say 'I'm Sorry' 100 times.

Shale: Shh. No talking in the library.

Shale: I'm in charge of this class. I'm the warrior chief. I'm the merciless god of anything that stirs in my universe. You fuck with me, and you will suffer my wrath.

Principal Claude Rolle: Two of your students are in the nurse's office talking a lawsuit right now.

Shale: Why, is the nurse a lawyer?

Shale: Who died?

Student: You did.

Shale: Guess I am a little late.

[Claude Rolle tells Shale about how the drugs are shipped to the school via bus]

Shale: And they said busing would never work.

Shale: [Hollan fires near Shale to keep him from using his martial arts against the thug drug dealer] You fucking psycho!

Hollan: [Hollan shoots drug dealer dead behind Shale, and hands gun to Shale] Who's the fuckin' psycho?

[last lines]

Joey: It's definitely time to relocate.

Shale: Yeah.

Joey: It's too bad we had to fuck up the school. I feel bad for the kids tomorrow, man.

Shale: They'll be okay. At least it's their school again.

Joey: Yeah. Where the hell we gonna go, man?

Shale: Uh, how's L.A. sound?

Joey: More bomb threats.

Shale: I heard the schools out there have a major drug problem.

Joey: No! Ah, no, no more schools, man. Forget it.

Hollan: Cuba wimped you out. You lost your mind and now you lost your balls.

Shale: [grabs Hollan by his crotch] Maybe I'll just borrow yours, on second thought they're too small.

Hollan: [about to walk away] FUCK YOU. Fucking queers.

Shale: I'd like to know what area of history you're studying.

Student: The fuck you history!

Jerome Brown: Mr. Smith, you lost any homeboys?

Shale: Yeah Jerome, I lost a few homeboys.

Shale: I'm sorry about those windows.

Hannah Dillon: Hey, fuck it.

Shale: Tilt those little puppies over here, baby.

Shale: You don't want soldiers, you want killers.

Matt Wolfson: You know, you'll have to excuse me here Shale, 'cause I wasn't aware there was that much of a difference.

Shale: Oh, there's a difference. You wanna know what the difference is?

Matt Wolfson: Yeah, I'll play. You tell me what the difference is. But I don't want any...

Shale: [pins him to the wall] The difference is... the difference is, you're still breathing.

Shale: [about bowel sounds] Hey, that cereal really does work.

Rodriguez: Motherfucker, you broken my finger!

Shale: I don't break 'em on the first offense.