Sandy Quotes in Jack Reacher (2012)

Jack Reacher: What I mean is, the cheapest woman tends to be the one you pay for.

Sandy: [stands up, angrily] I am *not* a hooker!

Jack Reacher: Well, a hooker would get the joke.

Jeb: [enters with his four buddies] What's this?

Sandy: He called me a whore.

Jeb: Is that true?

Jack Reacher: Well, nobody said whore. She inferred hooker, but I meant slut.

Punk: Hey. That's our sister.

Jack Reacher: Is she a good kisser?

Jeb: Hey. Outside.

Jack Reacher: Pay your check first.

Jeb: I'll pay later.

Jack Reacher: You won't be able to.

Jeb: You think?

Jack Reacher: All the time. You should try it.

Jeb: It's a great joke, but I'm gonna beat your ass. Do you want to do that here or outside?

Jack Reacher: Outside.

[gets up]

Jeb: Stay here, Sandy.

Sandy: I don't mind the sight of blood.

Jack Reacher: [walks by Sandy] When it means you're not pregnant, anyway.

Sandy: [sits down at Reacher's table] Mind if I share your table?

[Jack gives a nod]

Sandy: I'm Sandy.

Jack Reacher: So was I. Last week. On a beach, in Florida.

Sandy: What's your name?

Jack Reacher: Jimmie Reese.

Sandy: You don't look like a Jimmie.

Jack Reacher: What do I look like?

Sandy: I don't know. But not a Jimmie. So you're new in town?

Jack Reacher: Usually.

Sandy: It's kind of loud in here. Do you wanna, maybe, go someplace quieter? I have a car.

Jack Reacher: You're old enough to drive?

Sandy: I'm old enough to do a lot of things.

Jack Reacher: I'm on a budget, Sandy.

Sandy: [perplexed] What?

Jack Reacher: I can't afford you.

Sandy: I'm not a hooker.

Jack Reacher: Oh, then I *really* can't afford you.

Sandy: [Sandy, Jeb and four other guys all surround Reacher outside a bar]

[to Reacher]

Sandy: You still think you're funny now, creep?

Jeb: Shut your mouth, Sandy! No one is talking to you!

Jack Reacher: It's your last chance to walk away.

Jeb: [chuckles] Are you kidding? It's five against one.

Jack Reacher: [shakes his head] It's *three* against one.

Jeb: [perplexed] *How* do you figure?

Jack Reacher: Well, once I take out the leader, which is you, I'll have to contend with one or two enthusiastic wingmen. The last two guys, they always run.

Jeb: Oh, you, uh, you've done this before?

Jack Reacher: [reluctantly nods] It's getting late.

[Jeb moves in]

Jack Reacher: Remember, you wanted this.

[Jeb smiles and swings at Reacher, who ducks and elbows Jeb in the forehead, who falls to the ground]

Jack Reacher: It's okay.

[helps Jeb up]

Jack Reacher: Get up.

[kicks Jeb in the groin from behind, Jeb groans and Reacher pushes him aside with his foot. The other four move in closer]

Jack Reacher: Okay, let me know who's who. Let's get this done.

[Reacher easily takes down the other four, with him holding the last guy's foot under his arm. Two of the guys get up and both stare at Reacher with fear]

Jack Reacher: Really?

[kicks the last guy in the chest, who screams as he falls to the ground. The two guys run away as the cops come. Sandy runs away as well]

Cop: [points his gun at Reacher] On the ground.

Jack Reacher: That's a pretty impressive response time, fellas.

Cop: Do it!

[Reacher reluctantly gets down on the ground, next to a groaning Jeb]

Cop: Hands behind your back.

Jack Reacher: [to Jeb] Who hired you?

Sandy: Am I in trouble?

Jack Reacher: Not if you lend me your car.

Sandy: I don't have a car.

Jack Reacher: Well, sure you do. It's outside. I'm guessing you're the Camaro. That whimsy little pickup has Gary written all over it. Keys?

Sandy: I can't. It's Jeb's car!

Jack Reacher: Well, won't he be surprised when I drive it home for him.

Sandy: Who are you, mister? Really?

Jack Reacher: [Sandy gives him a key] I'm just a guy who wants to be left alone.

J.D.: Hey Sandy! It's me, JD, I went to high school with you, remember?

Sandy: Um, no I don't think I recall...

J.D.: Yeah, c'mon. Remember? I went to prom with a tux painted on my naked body?

Sandy: Um...

J.D.: Yeah! And then I spilled punch on myself and everyone could see my dong?

Sandy: No, JD, I really...

J.D.: Oh yeah! We had chemistry together and I tried to light a fart with the Bunsen burner and I ended up singeing my balls... still can't grow hair on my left nut. Sucks.

Darren: You're a lot stronger then you were in high school.

Sandy: Yeah, well, the convent's got a great gym.

Darren: I love you too, Judith.

Sandy: Judith?

Sandy: Kowalski, and the keys for a sawed-off weekend. Well you're both welcome.

[Sandy explains the rules of drug smuggling to Christina]

Sandy: All right, first things first. The rules. One: no sampling the load. Two: never, ever throw a load. Three: no relationships inside the organization. The boss man does not like the right hand knowing what the left hand's doing. Comprende?

Christina: What?

Sandy: I'm not fucking around here, Chris. You got to pay attention.

Christina: I'm here for you, Sandy. Whatever you need.

Sandy: First thing we got to do is find a boat.

Christina: How about that one?

Sandy: Too big. We're looking for a 30- to 40-foot fishing boat. Anything bigger draws too much attention. Anything smaller doesn't have enough storage.

[the girls show up to the right size boat]

Sandy: All right, Chris. Let's see what you got. This guy's cool. Anyone aboard?

Boat Owner: Can I help you?

Christina: Hi.

[Sandy hits Christina in the arm]

Christina: Uh, I was wondering if we can rent your boat.

Boat Owner: Sure do, but I won't be around to run it. I got some relatives in town.

Sandy: You got to start thinking like a sailor. So you only want to buy food that keeps, because you never know how long you're going to be out there. You want canned, dry, pickled, smoked, but only the good stuff. Look, Chris, we're moving drugs, not rockets. Just be good at your job, and look good doing it.

Sandy: What kind of a loser doesn't have metal coathangers?

Tooth: [as a new Guardian is being chosen by the Man in the Moon]

Tooth: I wonder who it's gonna be!

Sandy: [Sandy depicts a four-leaf clover over his head suggesting the Leprechaun]

Tooth: Maybe the Leprechaun?

Bunnymund: Please not the Ground Hog, please not the Ground Hog...

North: [the Guardian's image comes into focus] Jack Frost?

Bunnymund: I take it back, the Ground Hog's fine!

Sandy: By Golly, I bet it's going to be hotter then...

Jackson: [Angrily] Mind your language!

Sandy: I wasn't cussin'!

Jackson: You were going to say Hell!

Sandy: I was going to say Hades, but Hell ain't cussin', it's geography... It's the name of a place, like you might say Abilene or Salt Lake City.

Jackson: [Taking offense] Don't you be going making any remarks about Salt Lake City!

[Sandy turns away, but when he cinches his saddle, he purposesly bumps into Jackson, Jackson does it back, and they do it back and forth. Then they turn around and fight]

[Sandy fills a bucket of water from the river, and takes it to Prudence]

Sandy: I brought you some water, ma'am

[Prudence gratefully takes it]

Prudence Perkins: Thank you. Won't you stop and have a bit of breakfast with us?

Sandy: [Happily] Yes, ma'am.

[Sandy instantly leaps from his horse]

Travis Blue: [Travis comes riding up] Sandy, lets go!

[Sandy regretfully gets back on his horse, and bows repeatily to Prudence before riding away]

[singing]

Sandy: I left my gal in Old Virginy...

Travis Blue: Trailin' behind the wagon trail...

Sandy: Another I left in Old Missoura...

Travis Blue: Trailin' behind the wagon trail...

Sandy, Travis Blue: [Together] Oh the Wite tops are a rollin', rollin', the big wheels keep a-turnin', and when I reach that promise land, for my gal I'll still be yearnin'.

Travis Blue, Sandy: [singing, towards the end of the movie] Oh the white tops are a rollin' rollin', and the big wheels keep on turnin', there's a good little gal in that promise land already I'm a yearnin!

Travis Blue: [of the indians] Near as I can figure out, he don't seem to like white men.

Sandy: Yeah, he say's we're all thieves.

Elder Wiggs: Smarter then he looks!

[Sandy speaks Navajo, evidently translating what Elder Wiggs had just said]

Elder Wiggs: Don't tell him that, you fool! Tell him we're Mormans!

[the Navajos speak in their native touge, mutterring "Mormany" repeatedly]

Elder Wiggs: What'd he say?

Sandy: Say's the Mormans are his brothers. Say's they ain't big thieves like most white men. Just little thieves.

Elder Wiggs: Right complementery, ain't he?

Elder Wiggs: [to Travis] Hey, you wouldn't, uh, happen to know that San Juan River country, would you?

Sandy: Yeah, we know it. What about it, Grandpa?

Elder Wiggs: [Taking offense] Now look here, don't you be grandpa-ing me, you young whippersnapper! I'll bull you off that fence and fan your britches for you! Goddarn...

Uncle Shiloh Clegg: Ain't nobody gonna whip a Clegg!

Sandy: [pointing to the gun wielding Navajos] How you gonna stop it, Uncle Shiloh?

Sandy: Watching you makes me want to dream.

Sandy: He's got spunk.

Sandy: [after loosing the game] Hey Pete, I thought you did great tonight.

Pete Maravich: We lost.

Sandy: Well you can't win all the time.

Pete Maravich: When you lose that's all the people remember.

Sandy: Well I still think you did great.

Sandy: I want you to kill every gopher on the course!

Carl Spackler: Check me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key...

Sandy: Gophers, ya great git! Not golfers! The little brown furry rodents!

Carl Spackler: We can do that... we don't even have to have a reason.

Sandy: Wish me luck.

Michael Dorsey: Fuck you.

Sandy: Thanks.

Michael Dorsey: Fuck you.

Michael Dorsey: Friends?

Sandy: No, we are not friends. I don't take this shit from friends. Only lovers.

Sandy: Well, good night, Michael. It was a wonderful party. My date left with someone else. I had a lot of fun. Do you have any Seconol?

Michael Dorsey: [arguing after revealing he loves another woman] I never said I love you. You're one of the dearest friends I've ever had, but let's not pretend that we're something we're not, or we're gonna lose everything we have!

Sandy: I never said I love you, I don't care about I love you! I read "The Second Sex", I read "The Cinderella Complex", I'm responsible for my own orgasm, I don't care! I just don't like to be lied to!

Sandy: A guy named Les is sending you flowers?

Michael Dorsey: Yes. He's a friend of mine. He can't eat candy. He's diabetic.

Sandy: Why is he thanking you for a lovely night in front of the fire.

Michael Dorsey: [long pause] My minds a blank.

Sandy: Micheal, are you gay?

Michael Dorsey: In what sense?

Sandy: I'm going to feel this way until I don't feel this way anymore.

Michael Dorsey: You're worried about the audition tomorrow, aren't you?

Sandy: No I'm not worried about that audition.

Michael Dorsey: Why? Why are you so worried?

Sandy: Because I'm not gonna get it, I'm not gonna get it, because I'm completely wrong for it

Michael Dorsey: Why, what kind of a part is it?

Sandy: [pause] A *WOMAN*!

[Sandy talks to her friend in the cafeteria while looking at Terry from a distance]

Sandy: Look! What a fox. Dresses like Elvis Costello, looks like 'The Karate Kid.' I'm going to get him.

[Sandy walks into Buddy's room thinking it's Terry's room]

Sandy: [Sandy sees all of the nude Playboy photos on the walls] Wow. Like this is where you sleep? Do your homework.

Terry: Yeah, well, uh... I like pictures of people.

Buddy: [Buddy from the doorway] Terry loves tits and ass.

Terry: These women aren't just tits and ass. Kim reads Vonnegut... and Louann... Louann despises toxic waste.

Buddy: Don't let him fool you. Hard-core sex maniac.

[Sandy feeds the fish pizza in the fish bowl]

Sandy: [Sandy drops some crumbs in] Do you guys like pizza?

[Sandy and Buddy talk together while at the prom party]

Sandy: So, how's the fish?

Buddy: Great. I put a frogman in the bowl. And you know what? They really do love pizza.

[Sandy finds Terry's sock stuffed down his jeans]

Sandy: It's okay. I mean, how small can it be?

Terry: [Terry chuckles] Don't ask.

[Sandy undresses herself to Terry]

Terry: Thanks for stopping by, but as you can see, I really am in a rush.

Sandy: First, there's something else I have to give you.

Terry: Oh, nothing can top these fish.

Sandy: Don't be so sure.

Terry: [Sandy undresses her blouse as Terry turns her attention to the fish bowl] Oh, my, God, the fish. Did you feed them today? Look at those hungry little eyes.

Sandy: They're kissing.

[Buddy makes a sexual attempt to get in Sandy's pants]

Sandy: Where's Terry?

Buddy: Gone. This isn't the first time that that androgynous sleaze bucket has broken a beautiful girl's heart.

Sandy: I am so embarrassed.

Buddy: Why? The room is full of naked women.

Buddy: [Buddy starts unbuttoning his shirt] Wait. Would you feel more comfortable if I took my shirt off?

Buddy: [Buddy smiles to himself as Sandy leaves] What a nice girl.

[Sandy apologizes to Terry at the prom]

Sandy: Um, about the other night... I feel like a visitor from 'Planet of the Sluts.'

Terry: [Terry looks at Rick with Deborah] Hey, that's okay. We all make mistakes.

[Sandy sees Terry's date Denise hitting on the musician at the prom]

Sandy: How could she do that to you?

Terry: We don't have a real commitment. She can date whoever she wants.

Sandy: In the middle of the prom?

Dixie: Hey, what about your boyfriend? What was his name?

Roxanne Kowalski: Richard.

Dixie: When's he coming?

Roxanne Kowalski: He's not. He's not coming.

Dixie: What happened?

Roxanne Kowalski: We just ran out of gas. I guess I mistook sex for love.

Sandy: Oh, I did that once. It was great.

Sandy: He's got a great ass.

Roxanne Kowalski: Too bad it's on his shoulders.

Sean: [in front of Shondra's house, to B-rad] You a long way from the beach now, punk! We in South Central! The ghetto! The projects!

[Shondra gives him a dirty look]

Sean: We run hardcore up in here. People get killed here errrrrrry day!

PJ: [throws up signs] YAY YAAAAAYYYYY!

Sandy: [walks past the house with two other cute little girls] Shondra, can you come over later? Princess just had puppies.

Shondra: [sweetly] Okay, Sandy. Bye.

PJ: [after B-Rad gives him a funny look] Pitbull puppies, fool!

Sean: And they mean, too.

Sandy: You dirty little fucking scumbag! Take your disease-riddled whore and fuck her in hell for all eternity while the Devil burns you with hot, jagged metal and suffocates you with molten fury!

[first lines]

Sandy: [driving kids to school] Same thing, every fucking morning.

Sadie - age 9: I heard that.

Sandy: No, you didn't.

Sadie - age 9: Yes, I did.

Frank Jr. - age 7: I did, too.

Daphne: Oh, my God!

Sandy: What?

Daphne: You have a thing for the nanny!

Sandy: Someone like you shouldn't be with someone like me - an old girlfriend with two kids.

Aram Finklestein: You're an ageist.

Harry Finklestein: So, did Aram tell you about this operation I'm having?

Roberta Finklestein: Harry?

Sandy: No.

Harry Finklestein: They're gonna give me a new asshole.

Sandy: That is the most wonderfully unjaded, naive thing I've ever heard.

Sandy: [repeated several times during the car chase] Far out!

Barbara: So, when do I get out of here?

Sandy: As soon as Mr. Stone pays the ransom.

Barbara: What's the problem? What is the ransom?

Sandy: Well, we asked for $500,000.

Barbara: That should be no problem.

Sandy: He wouldn't pay.

Barbara: He wouldn't pay?

Sandy: Then we asked him for $50,000.

Barbara: Yeah?

Sandy: He still wouldn't pay. So now we're lowering our price to $10,000.

Barbara: Do I understand this correctly? I'm being marked down?

[Starts crying]

Barbara: I've been kidnapped by K-Mart!

Sandy: I don't think he loves her.

Ken Kessler: Well, let's face it, she's not Mother Teresa. Gandhi would have strangled her.

Sandy: No matter what I do, there's nothing I can say... she just tears into me! She hates me.

Ken Kessler: Sandy, you're her kidnapper. She's *supposed* to hate you.

Sandy: [about the kidnapping of Barbara] I feel terrible about this. Do you feel as guilty as I do?

Ken Kessler: Guilty? Are you kidding me? He takes our money, steals your idea, goes out and makes a million dollars and you feel guilty? I can't believe this! How many times have we been over this?

Sandy: Honey, not again...

Ken Kessler: [pulls out a People magazine with Sam Stone on the cover] Let me remind you of something. YOU are the spandex mini-skirt king. Not him! He is the spandex mini-skirt thief. He's the one that should feel guilty!

[turns to a page]

Ken Kessler: Look at this! Do you remember this? You cried for a week when you saw this. Look at the smile on that asshole!

Sandy: I know he stole it! But she didn't do anything.

Ken Kessler: She was his partner! Damn it, Sandy! Do you enjoy being stepped on? Do you? Because I don't, and I don't feel guilty.

[after a pause]

Ken Kessler: I take it back. I do feel guilty. I feel very guilty because I trusted a sleazeball named Sam Stone with our life savings on a handshake deal, and then just sat there and watched him take it all away from us!

Ken Kessler: Wouldn't it be better if we were to strike at the core of Sam's being? His reason for living?

Sandy: Well, what would that be?

Barbara: HIS TESTICLES!

[on finding out that Sam has a mistress and was glad she was kidnapped]

Barbara: I've got it, I tell you, I've got it! Okay, Sam arrives at noon on a motorcycle, wearing shorts! No shoes, no shirt, nothing... maybe we'll just put him in a jock strap! Then he has to drive all over town. Sam burns really easily, he'll be bright red in no time!

Ken Kessler: I can't believe this is happening...

Barbara: Then he has to cover himself with honey, and go to a bee farm! We'll make him dance around, so the bees go absolutely nuts!

Ken Kessler: [to Sandy, who looks disturbed] I don't think she really means it...

Barbara: Then we all watch, while they sting him to death! YEAH!

[she makes kicking and punching motions]

Ken Kessler: Barbara, don't we want something that'll last, something that'll keep stinging him for the rest of his life?

Sandy: My God, he must have been seeing this woman for years...

Barbara: CASTRATE HIM! I want to castrate him!

[she mimes cutting something off with scissors, then tossing it over her shoulder]

Ken Kessler: We've got to be ruthless. Think ruthless.

Sandy: What if I can't think ruthless?

Ken Kessler: You've got to. It's good for you. It makes you strong. I mean, what the hell's the sense of being a decent person when nobody else is?

[Ken is horrified to hear that Sandy has let Barbara go]

Sandy: Kenny, she really, truly loves us now! She can be trusted, she's changed!

Ken Kessler: Changed? What did you do, perform an exorcism?

Sandy: Kenny, she lost nearly twenty pounds!

[He stares at her, uncomprehending]

Sandy: Well, you should have been here. It was a very special moment.

[Suddenly someone pounds on the front door. Both Ken and Sandy look at each other with dread]

Ken Kessler: I'm surprised they knocked.

[while Sandy bolts for the back door, Ken opens the front door to a police officer with a "Wanted" flyer]

Cop with Killer Picture: Good afternoon. I was wondering if you've seen this man. He was sighted in the area a few weeks ago, and again earlier today. He's psychotic, extremely dangerous, and extremely violent. He's killed half a dozen people...

Sandy: [off-screen, panicked after seeing the cop at the door] Oh no, oh no... I've gotta get out of here!

Ken Kessler: [forcing a smile] My wife... she's late for work.

[glances at the flyer]

Ken Kessler: Doesn't look familiar.

Cop with Killer Picture: [gives him the flyer] Well, keep this and give us a call at that number if you do see him. And under no conditions should you try to subdue him yourself. Like I said, he's extremely violent.

Ken Kessler: He looks it. Thank you very much, Officer!

[the officer smiles and leaves. Ken waits until he is out of sight, then bolts for the back yard, where Sandy is trying to climb over the fence]

Ken Kessler: [whispering] Sandy! It's okay, it's okay! They're looking for somebody else.

Sandy: [referring to a pair of earrings] They're just so beautiful, you take American Express?

Lauren: Where are we? We've been going for miles and I haven't seen a single white person on the street.

Sandy: There's one.

[Lauren looks out of taxi cab window]

Sandy: Oops. They got 'em.

Lauren: That's not funny.

Lauren: Are you out of your mind? We don't have two-hundred dollars.

Sandy: Ah, chill out, wouldja?

Lauren: Oh my god, he's going to hurt us.

Sandy: He's not going to hurt us.

Lauren: Oh? Why not?

[They get out of the taxi and are in front of an old, dirty apartment building in an awful part of town]

Sandy: 'Cause we're gonna be raped and murdered in this building.

Sandy: [after spending the night with Michael, Lauren comes into class with a dreamy smile on her face] Oh, my... that kind of evening, huh?

Lauren: Well, not the kind you're used to; no money changed hands!

Sandy: Well, what the hell?

Lauren: Well, that's not his?

Sandy: No way look at that.

Lauren: It's too small.

Sandy: IT'S A FUCKIN PENCIL.

Sandy: You know what I bet? I bet you haven't been laid in about a year.

Lauren: You defiled a Christmas tree?

Sandy: No-one SAW!

Lauren: This is the happiest day of my life!

Sandy: [incredulously] They bought that shit!

Lauren: [insulted] Shit? SHIT? You're calling my Hamlet *shit*?

Sandy: He's a wimp! I mean, look at him! He can't make up his mind about anything! All he does is go around saying "What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?" Give me Romeo or Henry the Fifth! Now there's a guy I could boff!

Lauren: Boff? So we're back to boffing again?

Sandy: [while Lauren is walking towards her acting class, Sandy is using the payphone in the background] GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKIN' QUARTER!

Sandy: She's got a great mad scene. No, really, it's great; I just saw it.

Lisa Helena Fellini: When they answer, ask for him.

Sandy: Oh, you think I should?

Lisa Helena Fellini: Of course! It's like fighting a war. If you retreat and the enemy doesn't follow you, you've got turn around and attack. What good is winning the battle if you lose the war?

[speaks Italian into the phone]

Lisa Helena Fellini: Why be miserable with someone you don't love? Better to be miserable with someone you do love!

Sandy: It must have been a terrible war.

Robert L. Talbot: They usually are.

Sandy: Yes well I'd like to talk to you about it sometime.

Robert L. Talbot: About what?

Sandy: The war.

Robert L. Talbot: The *war*?

Sandy: I have a feeling I can help.

Robert L. Talbot: I doubt it. It's over.

Tony: Where do you live?

Sandy: [broken English] Saus-a-lito.

Tony: And where is that near?

Sandy: [turns, looks at him] San Fran-sis-co.

Tony: I am very stu-pid. But I'm loads of fun.

Tony: Medicine's a fascinating field. That's why a woman like Lisa so interesting.

Sandy: Lisa?

Tony: There are 206 bones in the human body. I've never seen them that well arranged before.

Sparrow: The driver was cute, he had nice blue eyes.

Sandy: They're brown and keep away from him.

Sandy: When you go shopping in a market, you don't buy anything that's been handled too much.

Sandy: Love is one product you don't sell by giving away free samples.

[from trailer]

Sandy: [driving Arush's head into sand] Wretch!

Heetal: GET OUT!

[cut to Devika slapping Arush in her lingerie]

Randy: Hey Sandy, want some candy?

Sandy: Some candy'd be dandy.

Randy: Hey Candy, want some candy?

Candy: No candy for me, Randy.

Andy Jackson: Aw, come on, Candy, have some candy.

Candy: I said no candy, Andy.

Andy Jackson: Okay, Candy. I'll have some candy, Randy.

Randy: Okay, Randy. I'll give you Candy's candy.

Andy Jackson: Can I also have Mandy's candy?

Sandy: No, Randy! Don't give Andy Mandy's candy! Give him the candy that's handy!

Randy: All right, Sandy. So, Andy, what's your favorite candy?

Andy Jackson: Mints.

Sandy: I don't want to play this game any more.

Sandy: You're mad! Absolutely mad!

Thomas Crown: What else can we do on Sunday?

Sandy: Becoming a cop, the pledge we took to uphold something honest. We let it all rot from under us. I was a good man once.

Sandy: We sold our shields off to the highest bidder.

Sandy: Why don't you take a good look at yourself. What do you see? A doctor? A scientist? A businessman? You see a scar-faced ex-con. A two-bit safecracker. A petty thief who don't know when he really made the big time. Where do you come off to blast her? No matter what she's been, what she's done. She's a giant! And you wanna know why? Well, I'll tell ya. Because she sees something in you worth saving. If only one tenth of one percent of all the good in her could rub off on you, you'd be a giant, too. But you're a midget! In your head, in your heart, in your whole makeup. You're a midget!

Harry: [insistent] *You* are creating the mystery here obviously y'have something you'd like to say. Say it.

John Oldman: [Hesitant] Maybe... I...

Harry: [sing-song] Ten, nine, eight, seven, si...

Sandy: [Chiding] Harry, stop.

John Oldman: There is something I'm tempted to tell you I think, I've never done this before, I wonder how it will pan out. I wonder if I could ask you a silly question?

Art: [Scoffing] John, we're teachers, we answer silly questions all the time

Linda Murphy: [Teasing] Hey!

John Oldman: What if a man from the upper Paleolithic survived until the present day?

Dan: A medical test might be a way of proving of what you're saying

John Oldman: I don't wanna prove it.

Art: So, you're telling us this the yarn

[?]

Art: of the century and you don't care if we believe it or not?

John Oldman: I guess I should've expected you to... You're not as crazy as you think I am.

Edith: Amen!

Sandy: I've always liked you.

Edith: Well, thank you dear.

Sandy: Well, that's changing.

[last lines]

Sandy: You never saw your own child die...

John Oldman: No.

Dr. Will Gruber: We will die, you will live. Will you come to my funeral, John.

Sandy: You've gone too far, John didn't ask to be what he is.

Dr. Will Gruber: And we did not ask to hear about it...

Rae: [confronting her mother at the grocery store] Since you workin' on the square now, maybe we could get some coffee in the morning, if you want...

Sandy: You need money again?

Rae: No. That's not why...

[pause]

Rae: Why we always gotta do this? I mean, you and me been at each other as far back as I can remember. Wasn't no love between us. And I'm your daughter. I'm the only family you got.

Sandy: You never needed nobody. Always made that clear to me.

Rae: Yeah. I know I did. But I'm trying to be different. I'm trying to get some peace, you know?

Sandy: I'm workin' here, Rae. Can you see that?

Rae: [sulks] I just wanted some make-up.

Sandy: All that shit's on Aisle 5.

Rae: [Rae starts walking away. She quickly turns back to Sandy] I just think you should'a kept him off me, that's all!

Sandy: [stops working and turns to Rae] The hell are you talkin' about?

Rae: Now see? Don't do that. I'll go along with all you say about me. But that, you can't pretend no more on that 'cause I was just a kid, Momma.

[pause]

Rae: I didn't know about any of that stuff he was doing to me, and you let him do it. Some big nobody in your life and you let him do as he wanted with the only somebody you had!

[Sandy walks up to Rae and grabs her by the arm]

Rae: I'm sorry, Mama! I didn't mean to shout...

Sandy: All my life I been putting out your fires with you givin' out your snatch to every waggin' dick in this town, and you gonna lay the blame at my feet? Well, I ain't gonna take that!

Rae: But Momma, just tell me! I'm not gonna be mad. We can just talk about it! Be eye to eye on this. You don't even gotta say you're sorry, just say how you knew!

Sandy: Only thing I'm sorry for is listening to my parents and having you...

[pause]

Sandy: Instead of doing what I should'a done!

Rae: [grabs a mop and attacks her mother] TELL ME YOU DON'T KNOW! *GODDAMNED LIAR*! SAY IT! JUST FUCKING SAY IT!

[Rae continues whacking Sandy with the mop]

Rae: YOU WERE IN THE NEXT ROOM, YOU *BITCH*!

Sandy: Cough drops or condoms?

Sandy: Cough drops or condoms?

Rae: I didn't know you was working here.

Sandy: [chuckles] Yeah, I just love dressin' up in these goddamned blue vests.

[pause]

Sandy: Your meal ticket get shipped out today?

[Rae stares at Sandy for a second and walks away]

Sandy: You let me know if I can be of any assistance!

[first lines]

Jonathan: If you had a choice...

Sandy: Yeah?

Jonathan: Would you rather love a girl, or have her love you?

Sandy: I want it mutual.

Jonathan: I mean if you couldn't have it mutual.

Sandy: You mean would I rather be the one who loves, or is loved?

Jonathan: Yeah.

Sandy: It's not that easy a question. But, I think I'd rather be in love.

Jonathan: Me too.

Sandy: Looks aren't everything, you know.

Jonathan: Believe me, looks are everything.

Jonathan: Sandy, do you wanna get laid?

Sandy: Please.

Rick Carlson: What do you do?

Sandy: I work for a doctor in Century City.

Rick Carlson: Oh, are you a nurse?

Sandy: No, a receptionist.

Rick Carlson: Well, what kind of doctor?

Sandy: Gynecologist.

Rick Carlson: [scoffs] I hear there's a lot of openings in that field.

Sandy: Oh, no, actually it took me a long time to find.

Rick Carlson: Then things must be pretty tight.

Sandy: Yeah, they really are.

Sandy: I'm not sure about God, but I am now quite sure about witches.

Jean Brodie: It was *you* who betrayed me!

Sandy: I didn't *betray* you - I simply put a stop to you!

[first lines]

Gordon Lowther: Morning girls. Good Morning.

Sandy: There's Miss Brodie!

Jenny: Miss Brode never got married like our mothers and fathers.

Sandy: They don't have primes.

Jenny: They have sexual intercourse.

Monica: She makes history seem like the cinema.

Sandy: No. Not the cinema. More like Shakespeare.

David Braxton: The first time I saw this country, it had buffalo grass and bluejoint up to the stirrups. By the second year, we had eight thousand Texas half-bred cattle and over three thousand five hundred volumes of English literature in my library.

Pete Marker: Hell, we just cut out the unbranded stock and divided up even among outfits. There was no arguin' over mavericks like today.

Sandy: You got it good today.

David Braxton: Two percent annual loss then, now it's seven from rustling alone, not to mention winterkill, calving loss, miring down in the spring.

Sandy: What are you going to do with the rest of your life? Sit on the shore and watch?

Sandy: I'll take a beer and a shot of whiskey.

Al: You forgot to shut the door.

Sandy: No, I didn't.

Al: It didn't latch.

Sandy: Come on, Al. I've been on my feet for hours. Give me a beer?

Al: First the door.

Sandy: Seriously? It's shut. It's fine.

Warren: Sounds pretty sure of herself, Al. At the same time, being sure is sort of a fancy way of being lazy.

Sandy: You want to go check the door?

Warren: I mean, you can see from here it's not shut all the way.

Sandy: I'll buy you a beer.

Warren: Well, when you put it like that.

[Danny kicks in the front door with a shotgun]

Danny: Alright everybody, put your hands on the tables!

[about Sharon]

Jody Marken: Think she goes all the way?

Sandy: Doubt it, who'd wanna fuck her?

Sandy: I used to have a music box like this...

Greg: What's the matter?

Sandy: Beth, she gave it to me on my ninth birthday. I'll never forget it because she was so excited about it... she bought it six months before...

[breaks down and starts crying]

Joe Taylor: You never been hunting before.

Sandy: No, and I don't plan to.

Joe Taylor: Ohhh! good sport, as long as you follow the rules.

Sandy: I could never kill an animal.

Joe Taylor: Depands on the animal and who's doing the hunting. Besides I eat what I kill. and the sport is in the hunting and the tracking not in the kill.

Sandy: [going directly to the water department shed and Alien encounter] This is crazy...

Joe Taylor: Yah, I know it's crazy. I got the advantage... I'm hunting him and he don't know it, com'n...

[examining a huge pentagram]

Sandy: It's a satanic sign of evil.

Sandy: [jumps on Cassidy from behind] Gottcha!... Did you think I was a psycho killer?

Cassidy Clarke: [Turns to face Sandy and holds her hand] Oh Yeah. Cause um... Cause Psychos have hands this soft.

Danny: Sandy!

Sandy: Tell me about it, stud.

Sandy: My parents want to invite you over for tea on Sunday.

Danny: I don't like tea.

Sandy: [laughing] You don't have to drink tea.

Danny: I don't like parents.

Danny: That's cool baby, you know how it is, rockin' and rollin' and what not.

Sandy: Danny?

Danny: That's my name, don't wear it out.

Sandy: What's the matter with you?

Danny: What's the matter with me, baby, what's the matter with you?

Sandy: What happened to the Danny Zuko I met at the beach?

Danny: Well I do not know. Maybe there's two of us. Why don't you take out a missing person's ad? Or try the yellow pages, I don't know.

Sandy: You're a fake and a phony and I wish I never laid eyes on you!

Rizzo: [breaks out a bottle of wine] How about a little Sneaky Pete to get the party going?

[the girls all cheer]

Jan: I got Twinkies. Anybody want one?

Marty: Twinkies and wine? Oh, that's real class, Jan.

Jan: It says right here it's a dessert wine.

[offers bottle to Sandy who's hesitant]

Jan: What's the matter? We don't got cooties!

Rizzo: I'll bet you've never had a drink before either, have you?

Sandy: Oh, yes I did. I had some champagne at my cousin's wedding once.

Rizzo: Well, ringa ding-ding.

Rizzo: Hey Zuko! I've got a surprise for you.

Danny: Oh, Yeah?

Rizzo: [chuckles] Yeah

Danny: [throws Sandy in front of him] Sandy!

Sandy: Danny!

Danny: Wha-what are you doing here, I thought you were moving back to Australia?

Sandy: We were but we had a change in plans!

[His friends stare at Danny with a strange face and he changes moods, pretending like he doesn't care]

Sandy: He was sort of special.

Rizzo: There ain't no such thing.

Sandy: Your a fake and a phony and I wish I never laid eyes on you.

Sandy: Frenchy, I don't feel so good.

Rizzo: Think of it this way, if she screws you up she can always fix your hair so your ears don't show.

Sandy: What if they dance diffently than we do back home?

Rizzo: Hey don't worry, maybe you'll invent the kangaroo bop.

Sandy: [Danny is trying to make out with Sandy] No, Danny!

Danny: Sandy, don't worry about it, nobody's watching.

Sandy: Danny, get off me!

Danny: Come on, Sandy, what's the matter with you? I thought I meant something to you!

Sandy: Meant something to you! You think I'm going to stay here with you in this? this sin wagon? You can take this piece of tin!

[throws his class ring at him and runs away]

Danny: Sandy, you just can't walk out of a drive-in!

[first lines]

Sandy: I'm going back to Australia; I might never see you again.

Danny: Don't... don't talk that way, Sandy.

Sandy: But it's true! I've just had the best summer of my life, and now I have to go away. It isn't fair.

[Danny starts kissing her]

Sandy: Danny, don't spoil it!

Danny: It's not spoiling it, Sandy, it's only making it better.

Sandy: Danny... is this the end?

Danny: Of course not; it's only the beginning.

Sandy: Are you making fun of me, Riz?

Rizzo: Some people are so touchy.

Danny: You've gotta make friends with the cameraman.

Sandy: The cameraman?

Danny: Yeah, his name's Ted.

Sandy: I think they're swinging too wide for a circle, Ed. Maybe they're not using a pattern at all.

Ed Bannon: Apaches always use a pattern for their campaigns. I've seen 'em fight in a circle covering hundreds of miles or in an X as big as the whole territory. Even a zigzag pattern. We got to be sure which one they're using now.

Joshua Lazarus: That was the Argentinean Finance Minister. They want me to bankrupt him because he's not playing ball. They can't have that.

Sandy: That's awful. I should just say no when they ask to hire one of you. And they always ask for you or Kira. You're the only scopers they consider level-headed. Anyway, I'm sorry to make you do these abominable government jobs, but the Home needs the money.

Joshua Lazarus: You don't have to justify yourself to me, Sandy. You saved my life.

Joshua Lazarus: I started hearing the voices again.

Sandy: Can you control them?

Joshua Lazarus: For now.

[He pauses]

Joshua Lazarus: How long do I have?

Sandy: From the recurrence of the voices, sanity is generally lost within a month. I'm so sorry.

Joshua Lazarus: Don't be. I've had enough time. Thank you for being straight with me, Sandy.

Sandy: [Sandy rises and pulls a pill bottle out of his pocket] Here. These are stronger. They should help a little. Make sure you take them regularly!

[He grimaces]

Sandy: I'm needed back at the Home, Josh.

[He pulls some papers from his inner coat pocket]

Sandy: So... you should decide this now. Don't make the same mistake Bobby made.

Joshua Lazarus: [Josh looks unhappy] You decide for me. I mean it.

Sandy: Have you visited Bobby recently?

Joshua Lazarus: No. I can't.

Sandy: The NSA insists on permanent restraints, even with the sedation.

Joshua Lazarus: Yeah. Just...

[He picks up a pen. A tear rolls down his face]

Joshua Lazarus: Nothing, uh... sentimental with, uh, with the ashes.

[He wipes his eye]

Joshua Lazarus: You promise me?

Sandy: When you feel like the voices are becoming too much, come back to the Home.

Guard: I understand you're having a hard time making a decision.

Patty: How would you know that?

Wenda: You know, the medic at the hospital seemed to know an awful lot about us, also.

Guard: Some of your friends are kind of concerned about your future. I think maybe you should hear what they have to say.

[Sandy, Jerry and Diane approach them. They notice that Sandy has a mark on her right hand]

Guard: .

Patty: Sandy!

Wenda: Oh, Sandy!

Patty: You're a Christian!

Sandy: Oh, Patty. Anyone can say they're a Christian.

Patty: But I thought that Jonathon...

Diane: Jonathon was one of us, but he had nothing to do with the trap that Sandy set for you.

Wenda: Sandy, why didn't you stay with us all day?

Jerry: She was trying to keep those fanatics from encouraging you into making a foolish decision.

Diane: Yeah. Actually, it's simple. You can lose your head

[glances at the guillotine]

Diane: , or you can go free. To work, to buy, to eat. To live a normal life, just like before.

Jerry: If those theological authorities are such authorities, how come they didn't go up with the rest? That's what blows holes in this theory that only the Christians went. How come there're still so many religious people here?

Patty: Maybe they didn't believe in UFOs.

Sandy: Well just because you have an understanding of the Bible in your head, doesn't necessarily mean you have Jesus in your heart.

Harmon Johnson: All right, Sandy. Let's shoot something else. You know. The stuff that sells. Off with the top.

Sandy: All right, but I told you before. I'm not double jointed.

Sandy: You killed her! You killed her, Patrick! You're a murderer! You're a fucking murderer! You killed her! Fuck!

Paul: You're Frank's wife, huh?

Sandy: Unfortunately.