Rhodey Quotes in Iron Man (2008)

[last lines]

Tony Stark: There's been speculation that I was involved in the events that occurred on the freeway and the rooftop...

Christine Everheart: I'm sorry, Mr. Stark, but do you honestly expect us to believe that that was a bodyguard in a suit that conveniently appeared, despite the fact that...

Tony Stark: I know that it's confusing. It is one thing to question the official story, and another thing entirely to make wild accusations, or insinuate that I'm a superhero.

Christine Everheart: I never said you were a superhero.

Tony Stark: Didn't?

Christine Everheart: Mmm-mmm.

Tony Stark: Well, good, because that would be outlandish and, uh, fantastic. I'm just not the hero type. Clearly. With this laundry list of character defects, all the mistakes I've made, largely public.

Rhodey: [whispers to Tony] Just stick to the cards, man.

Tony Stark: Yeah, okay.

[holds up his notes and pauses]

Tony Stark: The truth is...

[puts cards down]

Tony Stark: I am Iron Man.

Rhodey: Oh, my God, you crazy son of a bitch! You owe me a plane, you know that, right?

Tony Stark: [chuckling] Yeah, well, technically he hit me, so...

Rhodey: [seeing Stark in the Iron Man suit] That's the coolest thing I've ever seen.

Tony Stark: Not bad, huh?

Rhodey: [answering his phone during the attack on Iron Man] Hello.

Tony Stark: Hi, Rhodey, its me.

Rhodey: It's who?

Tony Stark: Oh, I'm sorry, it is ME. You asked. What your asking about, it's me.

Rhodey: No, you see, this isn't a game. You do not send civilian equipment into my active war zone. You understand that?

Tony Stark: It's not a piece of equipment, I'm in it! Its a suit! It's ME!

Rhodey: [eyeing the Mark II Iron Man suit] Next time, baby.

Rhodey: Hey Tony.

Tony Stark: I'm sorry. This is the fun-vee. The hum-drum-vee is back there.

Rhodey: [talking over phone] What the hell is that noise?

Tony Stark: I'm driving with the top down.

Rhodey: Well, I need your help right now.

Tony Stark: Funny how that works, huh?

Rhodey: Yeah. Speaking of funny, we got a weapons depot that was just blown up a few klicks from where you were being held.

Tony Stark: Well, I'd say that's a hot spot. Sounds...

[takes a breath]

Tony Stark: ...sounds like someone stepped in and did your job for you.

Rhodey: Why do you sound out of breath?

Tony Stark: I'm not. I was just jogging in the canyon.

Rhodey: I thought you were driving.

Tony Stark: Right, I was driving... to the canyon... where I'm gonna jog.

Rhodey: You sure you don't have any tech in that area I should know about?

Tony Stark: Nope.

[Two F-22s rise behind Iron Man]

Rhodey: Good, because I'm looking at something right now and we're about to blow it to kingdom come.

Rhodey: You need me to do anything else?

Iron Man: Keep the skies clear.

Rhodey: [standing by Stark's airplane] Three hours! Three hours you've kept me standing here!

Tony Stark: [walking past him] Waiting on you now.

Rhodey: As liaison to Stark Industries, I have a unique privilege of serving with a real patriot. He is my friend, and he is my great mentor. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to present this year's Apogee Award to Mr. Tony Stark!

[crowd applauds]

Rhodey: Tony?

[Stark is not present, so Stane approaches the stage]

Obadiah Stane: [accepting the award] Thank you, Colonel. This is beautiful. Thank you all very much. This is wonderful. Well, I'm not Tony Stark.

[laughter]

Obadiah Stane: But if I were Tony, I would tell you how honored I feel, and what a joy it is to receive this very prestigious award. Tony, you know, the best thing about Tony is also the worst thing - he's always working.

[cuts to Stark playing craps in a casino]

Tony Stark: [Tony and Rhodey are on Tony's elaborate plane sitting at a table. Rhodey is reading a newspaper] Whatcha readin'... platypus?

Rhodey: Nothin'.

Tony Stark: Come on sour patch.

Rhodey: I told you I'm not sour...

Tony Stark: ...don't be mad...

Rhodey: ...i'm not mad, i'm indifferent, ok.

Tony Stark: I said I was sorry.

Rhodey: You don't need to apologize to me cause I'm not mad.

Stewardess: Good morning Mr. Stark.

Tony Stark: [addressing the stewardess] Hi, I said I was sorry.

Rhodey: ...i'm just indifferent right now.

Stewardess: [to Tony] Hot towel?

Rhodey: You don't respect yourself so I know you don't respect me...

Tony Stark: ...I respect you...

Tony Stark: ...so I'm just your baby sitter. so when you need your diaper changed

[receives a hot towel from the stewardess]

Tony Stark: thank you

[readdresses Tony]

Tony Stark: let me know and I'll get you a bottle, ok?

Tony Stark: Hey! Heat up the saki will ya? Thanks for reminding me.

Rhodey: I'm not talkin about a... we're not drinking we're working right now.

Rhodey: You are institutionally incapable of being responsible.

Tony Stark: It would be irresponsible NOT to drink. I'm just talking about a night cap here.

Stewardess: Hot saki?

Tony Stark: Yes, 2 please.

Rhodey: No... just... I'm not drinking. I don't want any.

Rhodey: [queue to a scene where dancey lounge music is playing and Rhodey and Tony are drinking as a stripper pole comes out of the floor for the stewardesses to dance around] That's what I'm talking about, when I get up in the morning and I'm puttin on my uniform you know what I recognize? I see in the mirror that every person with this uniform on, GOT MY BACK!

Tony Stark: you know, i'm not... i'm not... like you... aren't you just a little distracted right now?

Rhodey: you don't have to be like me, but you can be more and you just don't see it. No I can't be distracted right now!

Tony Stark: [playing Craps] We're gonna let it ride! Give me a hand, will you? Give me a little something-something.

[woman blows on his dice]

Tony Stark: Okay, you too.

Rhodey: I don't blow on a man's dice.

Tony Stark: Come on, honey bear.

[Rhodey taps Tony hand causing him to roll the dice]

Tony Stark: There it is. Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes rolls! And...

Dealer at Craps Table: Two craps. Line away.

Rhodey: That's what happens.

Tony Stark: Worse things have happened.

Rhodey: The future of air combat... Is it manned, or unmanned? I'll tell you in my experience, no unmanned aerial vehicle will ever trump a pilot's instinct.

[an Air Force base prepares to scramble fighters when Iron Man appears on the radar again. Rhodey appears and hangs up the phone]

Rhodey: Not necessary, people. Just a training exercise.

Rhodey: [upon rescuing Stark] How was the fun-vee? Next time you ride with me, okay?

Rhodey: [to Pepper at Tony's press conference after returning from Afghanistan] What's with the lovin'?