Norm Archer Quotes in The Onion Movie (2008)

Norm Archer: The internet went down for three hours this morning, plunging the nation into productivity. The outage, which caused major work startages from New York to California, prevented an estimated 120 million American employees from messing around on the web at work.

[last lines]

Norm Archer: For The Onion News... this is Norm Archer. Fuck you, and goodnight.

Norm Archer: In other news. A local 8-year-old has accidently exercised his 2nd amendment right yesterday, when he blew out his head with his father's semi-automatic rifle. The fatal incident is being hailed by gun-rights activists as a victory for America and the constitution.