Tom Logan Quotes in Legal Eagles (1986)

Tom Logan: Ladies and gentlemen, Chelsea Deardon didn't kill Victor Taft. The prosecution has suggested a possible motive, but one based on hearsay, conjecture and circumstantial evidence. Evidence that appears to have some substance, but upon closer examination, will prove to have no relevance whatsoever to this case.

[stops and looks at the jury]

Tom Logan: You're not buying this, are you? You're not listening to a word I'm saying. Yeah? Guess what? I don't blame you. After listening to Mr. Blanchard lay out the prosecution's evidence, even I'M convinced my client murdered Victor Taft.

[murmurs of surprise in the courtroom]

Tom Logan: After all, if I had found Victor Taft, dead on the floor, and Chelsea Deardon's fingerprints on the weapon, there isn't much that would convince ME she isn't guilty. Look, let's save ourselves a lot of time. Let's be honest. There are better things we could be doing. Who thinks Chelsea Deardon's guilty?

Laura J. Kelly: Don't lose him.

Tom Logan: I'm not going to lose him. Where is he?

Chelsea Deardon: Do you always cross-examine people?

Tom Logan: Only when they lie to me.

Tom Logan: [to Clayton, whispering] You know what woke you up? You just had your throat cut.

Jane Braxton: I forgot, you do have your whores, don't you?

Tom Logan: Sure do. Like 'em, too.

Jane Braxton: Well, I'll tell you something. If you want them more than you want me...

Tom Logan: I keep telling you, I want them a lot. I don't want you at all.

Jane Braxton: Well, why are you being so mean to me?

Tom Logan: People have been neglecting to tell you what a nasty little bitch you are, and I'm just having to make up for their negligence.

Tom Logan: I understand you had to hang someone here.

David Braxton: I did that.

Tom Logan: Ah, that's tough. What was this, some kind of desperado?

David Braxton: No, he was a thief... with probably a million good reasons for being on hard times. The main thing is that we put him out of his misery.

Tom Logan: The first time I met Sandy, he was rustling on his own. He had a stolen cavalry pony and he kept this dog. As soon as he would kill a steer, why he'd cut the brand off and feed it to the dog. So before they could get enough evidence to convict him, they'd have to lock that dog up and pick through his shit for a week before they could find the brand.

Tom Logan: I couldn't get no credit at the whorehouse, so I picked up this chubby little girl off some sodbuster's outfit.

Tom Logan: How was she?

Tittle Tod: About like a Swiss clock... same exact movement over and over again.

Tom Logan: The closer you get to Canada, the more things'll eat your horse.

Tom Logan: Regulator? Ain't that like a dry gulcher?

Lee Clayton: Well, that's not the softest term you could use, I'd say.

Tom Logan: Well, Regulator, correct me now if I'm wrong, isn't a regulator one of these boys that shoots people and don't never get near 'em?

Lee Clayton: That's it.

Tom Logan: Have you lived in San Luis all your life?

Nancy Keefe: Not yet.