Norm Quotes in Norm of the North (2016)

Norm: Baaaack up, dancers. Let's show them who we *really* are.

Norm: We've really got our work cut out for us. What can a bear like me do in a city like this?

Norm: [to the three lemmings] Someone's coming. Act natural.

[the lemmings start farting]

Norm: [in disgust] Not *THAT* natural!

Olympia: Hmmm, so let's see. You're approximately 500 kilograms, exact skull and nose proportions.

Norm: I don't know what you're talking about. I only weight 149 pounds, just like the average American male.

Olympia: Please, i know exactly what you're doing, Norm.

Norm: Huh?

Olympia: You're saving the arctic, you're home! So i'm thinking, maybe we can work together... and you can save MY home in the process.

Mr. Greene: [angrily to Vera] ... you and me, i'll tell ya...

[starts screaming in gibberish]

Norm: Lemming! Look out!

[three of the cavies are squished by an elevator, only to a second later remain intact]

Norm: Waaaait for it... Geez, they don't call this place a concrete jungle for nothing.

Norm: Dinner is served. Oof!

[breaks a chair]

Norm: What? I'm big-boned.

Norm: Any last words before I eat you?

Vera: Are you ready to come out, Norm?

Norm: [awkwardly, while wearing a flamboyant costume] I think i just did.

Norm: Really? Where would I have seen your work?

Pat Healy: Well, have you been to, uh well, let me see... Santiago, Chile?

Norm: Twice last year. Which building's yours?

Pat Healy: Are you familiar with the soccer stadium?

Norm: Did you build the Estadio Olimpico?

Pat Healy: No, just down the street the Celinto Catayente Towers. It's quite a fine example, in fact. I recommend that next time you're up that way that you drop in and take a gander at it yourself.

[Tossing drug-laced doggie treats into Mary's apartment]

Pat Healy: Wait... how many is this?

Norm: Umm... four.

Pat Healy: Four? That seems like an aweful lot of speed to give one little pooch. Are you sure it won't kill him?

Norm: I never said that.

Pat Healy: ...eh.

[tosses another through the window anyway]

Norm: How are the twins?

Stripper: Fuck you, Norm!

Norm: Hey, I love it when you talk dirty to me, man!

[Mary's rival suitors - Ted, Pat, Dom, and Norm - are confronting her and each other in her home]

Norm: Oh, man, this is like group therapy or somethin'!

Norm: I got a plane full of people saying you threatened that stewardess.

Greg Focker: I was not threatening her. I was just trying to get my bag into the overhead storage thing...

Norm: You were acting like a maniac and you threatened her with a bomb.

Greg Focker: No, I said I didn't have a bomb.

Norm: But you said bomb.

Greg Focker: I said, "It's not like I have a bomb".

Norm: You said "Bomb" on an airplane.

Greg Focker: What's wrong with saying 'Bomb' on an airplane?

Norm: You can't say 'Bomb' on an airplane!

Greg Focker: Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb. You gonna arrest me? Bomb bomb bomb bomb! During the war I was a BOMBadier!

Norm: You assaulted an airline employee and I oughta put you away for years!

Norm: The place is surging with girls.

John: Please, sir, sir, can I have one to surge me, sir, please, sir?

Norm: No, you can't!

Norm: Now look, I've had a marvelous idea. Just for once, let's all try to behave like ordinary, respectable citizens. Let's not cause any trouble, pull any strokes, or do anything I'm gonna be sorry for. Especially tomorrow at that television theater, because...

[looks at John, who is holding up a bottle to his nose]

Norm: Are you listening to me, Lennon?

John: You're a swine. Isn't he, George?

George: Yeah, a swine.

Norm: [indifferently] Thanks.

Norm: God knows what you've unleashed on the unsuspecting South. It'll be wine, women, and song all the way with Ringo when he gets the taste for it.

Norm: Now you've got about an hour, but don't leave the theater. Where are you going, John?

John: [with a dancing girl] She's gonna show me her stamp collection.

Paul: [also with a girl] So's mine.

Norm: John, I'm talking to you! This final run-through is important, understand? IMPORTANT!

[John snorts like a pig, then leaves]

Grandfather: I want a cup of tea!

Norm: Uh, Shake?

Shake: [reaching for a guitar] Um... I've got to adjust the decibels on the imbalance, Norm.

Norm: Clever. George?

[George puts his fingers in his ears]

Norm: Ringo, look after him, will you?

Ringo: Ah, Norm!

Norm: Do I have to raise my voice?

Ringo: All right. Come on, Granddad.

[mumbling]

Ringo: I'm a drummer, not a wet nurse, you know?

Norm: I thought I told you lot to stay here. When I say stay put, I mean stay put.

John: [drops to his knees] Don't cane me, sir! I was led astray.

Norm: Shut up, John!

Shake: It's not my fault.

Norm: What?

Shake: I'm not taller than you are. You're smaller than I am.

Norm: [sees Paul's grandfather for the first time] Hey!

George, Paul, John, Ringo: [in unison] Who's that little old man?

Norm: Well, who is he?

Ringo: He belongs to Paul.

Norm: Come on, you lot! Get your pens out!

George: Why?

Norm: It's homework time for you load of college puddings. I want this lot answered TONIGHT!

Ringo: [sulking] Aww... I want to go out.

Norm: Now, I'll brook no denial!

John: You couldn't get a pen in your foot, you swine.

Norm: Ooh! Chatter on, son. Chatter on! A touch of the writer's cramp will soon sort YOU out!

Grandfather: It's my considered opinion that you're a bunch of sissies.

John: You're just jealous.

Norm: Leave him alone, Lennon... or I'll tell them all the truth about you.

John: You wouldn't.

Norm: Oh, I would, though.

Ringo: It's the Circle Club.

Paul: [reads aloud the invite] "The management of the Circle Club takes pleasure in requesting the company of Mr. Richard Starkey - that's you - to their gaming rooms. Chemin de Fer, Baccarat, and Champagne buffet".

Ringo: They want me.

John: It's gotten around you're a big spender.

Norm: [snatches the card from Paul] Well, you're not going.

Ringo: Aww!

Grandfather: [snatches the card from Norm] Quite right. Invites to gambling dens full of easy money and fast women. Chicken sandwiches and carts full of caviar. Disgusting!

Ringo: That's mine!

[Huge stacks of fan mail is delivered]

Ringo: None for me, then?

Norm: Sorry.

John: [handing Ringo one letter] Here, this'll keep you busy.

Norm: I just have one thing to say to you, John Lennon.

John: What's that?

Norm: You're a swine.

Norm: Shake, take that wig off! It suits you.

Norm: This is a battle of nerves between John and me.

Shake: John hasn't got any.

Norm: Any what?

Shake: Nerves.

Norm: That's the trouble. I've toyed with the idea of a ball and chain, but he'd probably just rattle them at me, and in public, too. Sometimes I think he enjoys seeing me suffer.

Shake: [Norm is smoking a cigar while Shake is reading a book] He's been gone a long time.

Norm: Who?

Shake: Paul's grandfather.

Shake: Oh, I didn't notice. Where'd he go?

Norm: Down the uh...

[points down the train's hallway]

Shake: Oh, down the uh...

[points his head also down the hallway]

Norm: Yeah, down the uh...

[also pointing his head down the hallway]

Shake: Oh, well give him a couple minutes, then.

Casino Manager: Before you go, gentlemen, there's a little matter of the bill.

Norm: I'll take care of that.

[Norm take a look at the bill]

Norm: [shocked] Hundred eighty pounds?

Casino Manager: I beg your pardon. Guineas.

Casino Croupier: Your winnings, my Lord. One hundred and ninety pounds.

[Grandfather is excited, but the manager immediately takes the money from him as payment for the bill]

Grandfather: Where are me change?

Casino Manager: Cloakroom charge.

Ringo: Oh, well. Easy come, easy go.

[Grandfather and Norm angrly look at Ringo]

Ringo: Well?

Shake: Well, he just asked if he could have those photos, and Norm said no, and I said, "Well, why not be big about it?"

Paul: Yeah, and?

Norm: And your grandfather pointed out that Shake was always being taller than me just to spite me!

Norm: Stop being taller than me!

Shake: I can't help it.

Norm: Hey! Have you seen Paul's grandfather?

John: Of course. He's concealed about my person.

Norm: [rolls his eyes] Now, he must have slipped off somewhere!

Paul: Have you lost him?

Norm: Don't exaggerate.

Paul: You've lost him!

Shake: Put it this way, Paulie: he's mislaid him.

Larry: You gotta be kidding me. That girl had more scars on her chest than Frankenstein.

Norm: That's because she was mauled by a bear. But her boobs were real.

Norm: What can you do?

Darcy: I know how to shoot people and blow shit up.

Barry Ryan: Can't go around killin' everybody that goes up against us.

Norm: Why not?

Hollywood: Because we're a business.

Norm: Oh, fuck that.

Norm: Happiness is accepting life on life's terms, no matter what they happen to be. You just do your best with what you've been given.

Norm: Let's rock.