Mrs. Jill Baker Quotes in That Uncertain Feeling (1941)

Dr. Vengard: Most people know nothing about themselves. Nothing. Their own real personality is a complete stranger to them. Now, what I'm trying to do is to introduce you to your inner-self. I want you to get acquainted with yourself. Wouldn't you like to meet you? Don't you want to get to know yourself?

Mrs. Jill Baker: No. You see, I'm a little shy.

Margie Stallings: Now, I don't want to cause any trouble. But cold facts are cold facts! If Mr. and Mrs. Cooper come, that big, awful looking Mrs. Cooper, he shaves.

Mrs. Jill Baker: And if he has dinner alone with his wife, he doesn't shave!

Margie Stallings: And if anybody should shave, it's Mrs. Cooper!

Mrs. Jill Baker: And I spent three-and-a-half hours today at Elizabeth Arden's, but I don't rate a shave.

Sally Aikens: I was doing some secretarial work for Mr. Baker.

Mrs. Jill Baker: Oh, secretary's work on Saturday night?

Sally Aikens: Oh, well, eh, I-I'm a notary public too.

Mrs. Jill Baker: Oh, I see. And you brought your seal?

Sally Aikens: Oh, yes!

Mrs. Jill Baker: A-ha, a trained seal.

Margie Stallings: Dr. Vengard. I repeat it, Dr. Vengard is the man for you.

Mrs. Jill Baker: Don't let's go into that again. I will not be psycho-analyzed.

Extra in Ladies Room: Oh, now, Jill. That's a very middle-class attitude.

Mrs. Jill Baker: I'm a perfectly normal woman.

Margie Stallings: Well, that's sounds awfully dull.

Extra in Ladies Room: My dear you musn't say that about yourself - not even in fun!

Mrs. Jill Baker: Egészségedre!

Kafka: Egészségedre?

[looks around the table at the other guests; then, indicating Jill]

Kafka: Egészségedre!

Alexander Sebastian: You smoke yourself?

Mrs. Jill Baker: Yes.

Alexander Sebastian: [a pause] You, eh, haven't got a cigarette, eh?

Mrs. Jill Baker: Yes.

[she takes her cigarette case from her handbag and offers it to him]

Alexander Sebastian: Haven't any without tips?

Mrs. Jill Baker: It's difficult to show you the symptoms at the moment, because - it comes and it goes.

Dr. Vengard: Oh, it comes and - it goes.

Mrs. Jill Baker: Yes. It's so unfortunate. It's always the same whenever I see a doctor. When - when I come, it goes. And when I go, it comes.

Dr. Vengard: Mrs. Baker, whatever comes and whatever goes, there's no denying it worries you a lot. So, please drop all your inhibitions, release your inner-self, and speak freely. What comes and what goes?

Mrs. Jill Baker: Hiccups!

Mrs. Jill Baker: Doctor, please believe me, there's nothing wrong with my marriage. You could go through all Park Avenue and you wouldn't find a happier couple.

Dr. Vengard: Well, I'm sorry, but it's my duty to explore every avenue, especially Park Avenue.

Mrs. Jill Baker: After all, husbands expect their wives to keep their figures.

Mrs. Jill Baker: I've always heard that the ideal marriage should be something of a mystery. That your husband should remain a kind of stranger to you. Someone whose acquaintance you'd like to renew every day.

Mrs. Jill Baker: Ah, good grief!

Larry Baker: Now, the tough man to crack is Kafka - of Universal Mattress. I've done a little detective work: he's a Hungarian. As a matter of fact, they're all Hungarians. So, so let's give the dinner a kind of - Hungarian touch, heh?

Mrs. Jill Baker: Now look, Larry...

Larry Baker: Oh, now listen, darling, I didn't expect you to behave like a gypsy. But, let's hire a Hungarian cook and make him a wonderful goulash!

Mrs. Jill Baker: Just a habit, isn't it?

Larry Baker: Yes, if you want to call it that.

Mrs. Jill Baker: Like scratching your head or patting your dog. Would you do it to some other woman?

Larry Baker: Well, I don't know. I never tried.

Mrs. Jill Baker: But, you do it to me.

Larry Baker: Well, you're my wife.

Mrs. Jill Baker: And that gives you the right to poke me in the stomach whenever you want, heh?

Mrs. Jill Baker: Larry, please don't keeks me anymore.

Alexander Sebastian: Let me warn you that I say what I think. I'm a complete individualist.

Mrs. Jill Baker: Really?

Alexander Sebastian: I'm against Communism, Capitalism, Fascism, Nazism. I'm against everything and everybody. I hate my fellow man and he hates me.

Mrs. Jill Baker: It sounds rather amusing.

Alexander Sebastian: So, I amuse you? I'm a clown, eh? Pagliacci!

Alexander Sebastian: What's wrong with you?

Mrs. Jill Baker: [Defensively] Nothing.

Alexander Sebastian: Why are you here? You don't go to a psycho-analyst to have tooth filled?

Alexander Sebastian: That's almost great.

Mrs. Jill Baker: Who painted it?

Alexander Sebastian: A woman. No man could be so malicious.

Mrs. Jill Baker: You are a puzzle, Mr. Alexander Sebastian.

Alexander Sebastian: And don't you try to solve me, Mrs. Happy Baker.

Mrs. Jill Baker: He's not a piano player, he's a pianist.

Mrs. Jill Baker: [Mr. Baker sneaks up behind Mrs. Baker and puts his hands over her eyes] Oh, nice surprise, eh! Ha-ha-ha. Hello, my genius. Ha-ha. Who are you going to be this evening? Come, tell your little cadenza! Are you - Mozart? Playful, tender? Or, are you the thundering Beethoven? Strong, fiery, unyielding! Come, darling. Tell your little cade - -

[Turns around, realizes it is her husband, and faints]

Mrs. Jill Baker: So, you can hit a man, but you don't dare strike a woman. You, coward, you!

Mrs. Jill Baker: How dare you say that about my beloved mother!

Larry Baker: Your beloved mother - pooh!

Mrs. Jill Baker: Who are you to pooh my mother?

Mrs. Jill Baker: [Repeated line] You cheap, second-rate, insurance peddler!

Mrs. Jill Baker: He had to get drunk to do it.

Mrs. Jill Baker: Very exciting - being transferred from the business world into the world of art. Nothing but Bach and Tchaikovsky!

Mrs. Jill Baker: I love to make him angry. He turns into a - big - Grizzly bear!

Mrs. Jill Baker: I only hope poor Larry has as good a time as I.

Margie Stallings: Well, when I saw him at the Monte Carlo...

Mrs. Jill Baker: Oh, yes, I suppose that was another one of those dull, business evenings. Was it a large party?

Margie Stallings: No, I'd say she was about your size.

Mrs. Jill Baker: There's no use pretending - I'm defeated.