Montoya Quotes in Vampires (1998)

Montoya: [takes tape off Katrina's mouth; sighs] What's your name? Do you understand what's been happening to you?

Katrina: [screams] Help me!

Montoya: [grabs Katrina's head; puts her in strenghold; covers her mouth] Hey! HEY! Don't fuck with me, honey! I'll snap your neck like a twig! Now nod your head "Yes" or "No". Do you understand what's been happening to you? DO IT!

[Katrina shakes her head "No"]

Montoya: All right. Now I'm going to explain it to you. First, I'm gonna take my hand off your mouth. You scream...

[imitates neck snap; Katrina sobs]

Montoya: Good. Now... what's your name?

Katrina: Katrina.

Montoya: Okay, Katrina. Here's the scenario.

[throws covers back on her]

Montoya: I took off your clothes. I cleaned you up. I tied you down. I also saved your ass. You been bitten by a vampire. Do you remember the party back at the motel? Big guy, pointy teeth, real shitty breath? Don't worry. It'll all come back soon. A master vampire has a telepathic link to his victims, and you're gonna help us find him. And while he's sleeping, we unleash on his. You're the bait honey. Sorry.

Jack Crow: When did she first bite you?

Montoya: Two days ago. I still covered your ass!

Jack Crow: Yes, you did. I say we owe you two days back. Whatya think, padre?

Father Adam Guiteau: You have two days.

[Montoya checks out a Buick that pulls up]

Man With Buick: Hey! Cowboy! Can I help you?

Montoya: Yeah. I'm gonna borrow your car.

[man opens mouth in disbelief]

Montoya: Shhh... just say "Help yourself."

Man With Buick: You want me to say *what*?

Montoya: [pulling out a gun] Hey!

[shouts]

Montoya: Shut the fuck up or I'll blow your fucking teeth out the back of your head, asshole! Back off!

Man With Buick: Uhh... help yourself, boy!

Montoya: Much obliged, partner!

Montoya: [trying to figure out how much the hotel costs] What's the fucking total, guy?

Motel Owner: Erm... that's erm... $400.

[looks out window in the pickup]

Motel Owner: Is that your girlfriend?

Montoya: No, it's my fuckin' mother. Gimme the key.

Skip: Hey, I'm not bailing your asses out of jail.

Montoya: [a crash is heard outside] Oh, shit. Get the gate, get the gate.

Cop: Hey, get back here!

Montoya: Close the door, come on. Quick.

[they close the shop gate]

Cop: Get back here!

Skip: It was supposed to keep them out of trouble, man!

Skip: [at the diner] Hey you guys made a mess at that contest today... They look at you as the enemy now, right?

Montoya: But it's good to have enemies! A toast!

[everybody raises glasses]

Kathy Alva: A toast!

Montoya: To the boy kings... You're all a bunch of filthy pillow biters!

[Sticks his fork in his glass of water, and splashes the Z-Boys]

Restaurant owner: [Z-boys are being rowdy] You can't act like that here! This is a family restaurant.

[Sid throws food at him, he grabs Sid, and drags him over the table]

Montoya: [Trying to stop the owner] HEY! This is a family restaurant!

Skip: Hey, I'm not bailing your asses out of jail.

Montoya: [a crash is heard outside] Oh, shit. Get the gate, get the gate. Cop: Hey, get back here!

Montoya: Close the door, come on. Quick.

[they close the shop gate]

Skip: It was supposed to keep them out of trouble, man!