Martha Brewster Quotes in Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)

Mortimer Brewster: Look, you can't do things like that! Now, I don't know how I can explain this to you. But, it's not only against the law, its wrong!

Martha Brewster: Oh, piffle!

Mortimer Brewster: It's not a nice thing to do. People wouldn't understand. He wouldn't understand. What I mean is... Well... This is developing into a very bad habit!

Mortimer Brewster: Look, Aunt Martha, men don't just get into window seats and die!

Abby Brewster: We know, dear. He died first.

Mortimer Brewster: Wait a minute! Stop all this. Now, look, darling, how did he die?

Abby Brewster: Oh, Mortimer, don't be so inquisitive. The gentleman died because he drank some wine with poison in it.

Mortimer Brewster: How did the poison get in the wine?

Martha Brewster: Well, we put it in wine, because it's less noticeable. When it's in tea, it has a distinct odor.

Mortimer Brewster: You mean, you... You put it in the wine!

Abby Brewster: Yes. And I put Mr. Hoskins in the window seat, because Reverend Harper was coming.

Mortimer Brewster: Now, look at me, darling. You mean, you mean you knew what you'd done and you didn't want the Reverend Harper to see the body?

Abby Brewster: Well, not at tea. That wouldn't have been very nice.

Mortimer Brewster: Oh, it's first-degree.

Abby Brewster: Now, Mortimer, you know all about it and just forget about it. I do think that Aunt Martha and I have the right to our own little secrets.

Reverend Harper: Have you ever tried to persuade him that he wasn't Teddy Roosevelt?

Abby Brewster: Oh, no.

Martha Brewster: Oh, he's so happy being Teddy Roosevelt.

Abby Brewster: Oh... Do you remember, Martha, once, a long time ago, we thought if he'd be George Washington, it might be a change for him, and we suggested it.

Martha Brewster: And do you know what happened? He just stayed under his bed for days and wouldn't be anybody.

Martha Brewster: Are you leaving, Doctor?

Dr. Einstein: Yes, please.

Mortimer Brewster: What is this? Did everybody in Brooklyn know I was going to get married except me?

Martha Brewster: We knew you'd find out about it in time.

Martha Brewster: [to Mortimer] One of our gentlemen found time to say "How delicious"!

Mortimer Brewster: But there's a body in the window seat!

Aunt Abby: Yes, dear, we know.

Mortimer Brewster: You know?

Martha Brewster: Of course!

Aunt Abby: Yes, but it has nothing to do with Teddy. Now, Mortimer, you just forget about it. Forget you ever saw the gentleman.

Mortimer Brewster: Forget?

Aunt Abby: We never dreamed you'd peek.

Mortimer Brewster: What the...?

Martha Brewster: [about the men they have poisoned] Let me see, now. This is eleven, isn't it, Abby?

Abby Brewster: Oh, no, dear. This makes twelve.

Martha Brewster: Abby, dear. I think you're wrong. This one is only eleven.

Abby Brewster: No, dear, because I remember when Mr. Hoskins first came in, it occurred to me that he'd make just an even dozen.

Martha Brewster: But, Abby, dear. I really don't think you should count the first one.

Abby Brewster: Oh, I was counting the first one, and that makes it twelve.

Martha Brewster: It does? Well, she's probably right. Abby usually is. I get them mixed up sometimes.

Mortimer Brewster: Makes it twelve? Twelve.

[after finding the dead body in the window seat]

Mortimer Brewster: But - what happened to him?

Martha Brewster: [cheerfully] He died.

Jonathan Brewster: We're moving the car behind the house. You'd better get to bed.

Martha Brewster: The car is alright where it is until morning.

Jonathan Brewster: I don't want to leave it in the street. That might be against the law.

Mortimer Brewster: Now look, darling, how did he die?

Abby Brewster: Oh, Mortimer, don't be so inquisitive. The gentleman died because he drank some wine with poison in it.

Mortimer Brewster: Well, how did the poison get in the wine?

Martha Brewster: Well, we put in wine because it's less noticeable. When it's in tea it has a distinct odor.

Martha Brewster: [Mortimer is about to leave, but has Mr. Witherspoon's hat on] Hmm! Hmm!

Mortimer Brewster: What, hmm hmm?

Martha Brewster: The hat!

Mortimer Brewster: [Notices hat and throws it on the ground] Argh!

[slams door]