Elaine Harper Quotes in Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
Elaine Harper Quotes:
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Elaine Harper: But Mortimer, you're going to love me for my mind, too.
Mortimer Brewster: One thing at a time!
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[Elaine is impatient to leave on the honeymoon]
Elaine Harper: But, darling - Niagara Falls.
Mortimer Brewster: It does? Well, let it.
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Mortimer Brewster: Yeah, yeah, I know that bromide. Something borrowed, something blue - old, new! Rice and old shoes, carry you over the threshold, Niagara Falls - all the silly tripe I've made fun of for years. Is this what I've come to? I can't go through with it. I won't marry you and that's that!
Elaine Harper: [Adoring] Yes, Mortimer.
Mortimer Brewster: What do you mean, "Yes, Mortimer"? Aren't you insulted? Aren't you going to cry? Aren't you going to make a scene?
Elaine Harper: [Adoring] No, Mortimer.
Mortimer Brewster: And don't "No, Mortimer" me either! Don't... Don't you see, marriage is a superstition, it... It's old-fashioned, it's... I... Ohhhh...
[He kisses her and hauls her into the marriage license office]
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Elaine Harper: Now, wait a minute! Listen! You can't marry me one minute and throw me out of the house the next.
Mortimer Brewster: I am not throwing you out of the house, I am not throwing you out of the house! Will you get out of here?
[pushes her out and slams the door; Mr. Gibbs is standing on the porch holding a newspaper]
Elaine Harper: Mortimer!
Mortimer Brewster: [picks up the phone] I'm sorry, Judge. But a thing happened. Look, Judge... About Teddy... you see, he's...
Elaine Harper: Mortimer!
Mortimer Brewster: [into the phone] You see, Judge, it's his bugle blowing. Yes, the neighbors have been complaining, and the police are all set to throw him into a state institution.
Elaine Harper: How do you like that...
Mr. Gibbs: I read an ad here about a room to rent...
Elaine Harper: Oh, shut up!
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Elaine Harper: [Mortimer is feeling amorous in the cemetery with Elaine] Mortimer! Right out here in the open with everyone looking?
Mortimer Brewster: Yes, right out here in the open with everyone looking. Let everyone in Brooklyn over sixteen look!
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Jonathan Brewster: Perhaps we'd better introduce ourselves. May I present Dr. Einstein.
Elaine Harper: Dr. Einstein?
Jonathan Brewster: A surgeon of great distinction... and something of a magician.
Elaine Harper: Now, I suppose you're going to tell me that you're Boris Kar...
Jonathan Brewster: I am Jonathan Brewster!
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[to Mortimer]
Elaine Harper: We were married today. We were going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Your brother tries to kill me. A taxi is waiting and now you want to sleep on a window seat. You can take the honeymoon, your wedding ring, your taxi, your window seat, and put 'em in a barrel and push 'em all over Niagara Falls!
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