Marlin Quotes in Finding Dory (2016)

Marlin: She should just pick two and let's go.

Nemo: Dad.

Marlin: What? I'm kidding.

[last lines]

Marlin: It really is quite a view.

Dory: Yup. Unforgettable.

Marlin: [from trailer] Tooooootally sick!

Crush: Isn't it great?

Marlin: NO! I'm gonna be totally sick!

[from trailer]

Dory: I remember something important!

Marlin: Something important? What?

Dory: Something about a clam or...?

Marlin: No.

Dory: No, an oyster.

Marlin: No.

Dory: Mollusk?

Marlin: No.

Dory: Something?

Marlin: No.

Dory: I don't... know...

Marlin: No clam.

Dory: Please help me find my family.

Nemo: Yeah, Dad, you can get us all the way across the ocean. Right?

Marlin: No... But I know a guy.

Marlin: [to Dory] Go wait over there and forget. It's what you do best.

Nemo: I trust Becky.

Marlin: You trust Becky? Becky's eating a cup!

Marlin: That's a lot of eyeballs doing nothing.

Dory: How about we play a game?

Marlin: All right.

Dory: Okay, I'm thinking of something orange, and it's small...

Marlin: It's me.

Dory: Right!

[Later]

Dory: I'm thinking of something orange and small...

Marlin: Me again.

Dory: All right, Mr. Smartypants...

[Later]

Dory: ... It's orange and small, and has stripes...

Marlin: Me, and the next one - just a guess - me.

Dory: Okay, that's just scary.

Marlin: I promised I'd never let anything happen to him.

Dory: Hmm. That's a funny thing to promise.

Marlin: What?

Dory: Well, you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo.

Dory: No. No, you can't... Stop! Please don't go away. Please? No one's ever stuck with me for so long before. And if you leave... if you leave... I just, I remember things better with you. I do, look. P. Sherman, forty-two... forty-two... I remember it, I do. It's there, I know it is, because when I look at you, I can feel it. And-and I look at you, and I... and I'm home. Please... I don't want that to go away. I don't want to forget.

Marlin: I'm sorry, Dory. But I... do.

Dory: Hey, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down do you know what you've gotta do?

Marlin: No, I don't know what to do.

Dory: [singing] Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.

Marlin: Dory, no singing.

Dory: [continuing] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho. I love to swim. When you WANT to swim you want to swim.

Marlin: Now I'm stuck with that song... Now it's in my head!

Dory: Sorry.

Crush: Okay. Squirt here will now give you a rundown of proper exiting technique.

Squirt: Good afternoon. We're gonna have a great jump today. Okay, first crank a hard cutback as you hit the wall. There's a screaming bottom curve, so watch out! Remember: rip it, roll it, and punch it.

Marlin: It's like he's trying to speak to me, I know it.

[to Squirt]

Marlin: You know, you're really cute, but I don't know what you're saying. Say the first thing again!

Marlin: Tell me, Dory, do you see anything?

Dory: Yeah, I see a light.

Marlin: A light?

Dory: Yeah. I see a light.

Marlin: Yeah, I see it too.

Dory: Hey, Conscience, am I dead?

Marlin: No, no. I see it, too.

[they swim up to the light]

Marlin: What is it?

Dory: It's so... *pretty*.

Marlin: [mesmerized] I... I'm feeling... happy, which is a big deal... for me.

Dory: I want to touch it...

[she does; the light bobs quickly away]

Dory: Oh!

Marlin: Hey, come back. Come on back here. I'm gonna get ya.

Dory: Come here.

Marlin: [singing] I'm gonna swim with you...

Dory: I'm gonna get ya. I'm gonna get ya.

Marlin: [singing] I'm gonna be your best friend...

[a big scary fish looms into view]

Marlin: ...Good feeling's gone.

Marlin, Dory: AHH!

[after whale blows Marlin and Dory out]

Marlin: THAAAANKKK YOUUUUU SIRRRRRRR.

Dory: Wow. I wish I could speak whale...

Crush: Dude? Dude? Focus dude... Dude?

[Marlin wakes up]

Crush: Oh, he lives. Hey, dude!

Marlin: Oh... What happened?

Crush: Saw the whole thing, dude. First you were all like "whoa", and we were like "whoa", and you were like "whoa..."

Marlin: What are you talking about?

Crush: You, Mini-Man, takin' on the jellies. You've got serious thrill issues, dude. Awesome.

Marlin: Oh, my stomach. Ohh.

Crush: Oh, man. Hey, no hurling on the shell, dude, ok? Just waxed it.

Marlin: So, Mr. Turtle?

Crush: Whoa, Dude. Mister Turtle is my father. The name's Crush.

Marlin: Crush, really? OK, Crush. I need to get to the East Australian Current. EAC?

Crush: [laughing] Oh, dude. You're ridin' it, dude! Check it out!

Marlin: What did it say? What did the mask say?

Dory: P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.

[gasps]

Dory: I remembered what it said! I usually forget things, but I remembered it that time! P. Sherman, 4...

Marlin: Wait! What does that mean?

Dory: I don't know. But who cares! Ha ha! I remembered! P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. I remembered it again!

Nemo: Hey dad! Maybe when I'm at school, I'll see a shark.

Marlin: I highly doubt it.

Nemo: Have how ever met a shark?

Marlin: No, and I don't plan to.

Nemo: How old are sea turtles?

Marlin: Sea turtles? I don't know.

Nemo: Sandy Plankton from next door, he says they live to be a hundred years old.

Marlin: Well, if I ever meet a sea turtle I'll ask him, right after I'm done talking to the shark.

Dory: [about the humpback whale] Maybe he only speaks whale.

[slowly and deeply, imitating the whale]

Dory: Mooo... Weeee neeeed...

Marlin: Dory?

Dory: ...tooo fiiind hiiis sooon.

Marlin: What are you doing? Are you sure you speak whale?

Dory: Caaaan yoooou giive uuuus direeeeectioooons?

Marlin: Dory! Heaven knows what you're saying! See, he's swimming away.

Dory: Cooome baaaaack.

Marlin: He's not coming back. You offended him.

Dory: Maybe a different dialect. Mmmmoooooowaaaaah...

Marlin: Dory! This is not whale. You're speaking like, upset stomach.

Dory: Maybe I should try humpback.

Marlin: No, don't try humpback.

Dory: Woooooo! Woooooo!

Marlin: Okay, now you really do sound sick.

Dory: Maybe louder. Rah! Rah!

Marlin: Don't do that!

Dory: Too much orca. Did it sound a little orca-ish to you?

Marlin: It doesn't sound orca. It sounds like nothing I've ever heard!

Marlin: [Surrounded by jellyfish] This is bad, Dory. Very bad.

Dory: [Bouncing on top of a jellyfish] Hey, watch this. Boing! Boing!...

Marlin: Dory!

Dory: You can't catch me!

Marlin: Dory, don't bounce on the tops! They will... not sting you. The tops don't sting you! That's it!

Dory: Two in a row. Beat that.

Marlin: Dory, listen to me. We're going to play a game.

Dory: A game?

Marlin: Yeah, a game.

Dory: I love games! Pick me!

Marlin: We're gonna race. First one out of the jellyfish wins.

Dory: Out, got it!

Marlin: Rules, rules! You can't touch the tentacles, only the tops...

Dory: Something about tentacles, got it.

Marlin: No, it's not something about them, it's all about them.

Dory: On your mark, get set, go!

Marlin: Wait, Dory!

Marlin: Wait a minute! You can read?

Dory: I can read? That's right, I can READ!

Marlin: [Dory and Marlin are in pitch darkness looking for the mask] Dory, do you see anything?

Dory: Ahh! Something's got me!

Marlin: That's just me. I'm sorry.

Dory: Who's that?

Marlin: [exasperated] Who's that? Who else would it be? It's me!

Dory: Are... are you my conscience?

Marlin: [sighs] Yes, I'm your conscience. We haven't spoken for a while. How are you?

Dory: Eh, can't complain.

Marlin: Good. Now, Dory, do you see anything?

Dory: [angler fish's light approaches] Yes, I see... a light. Hey, conscience, am I dead?

Marlin: No, I see it too.

Marlin: Crush, wait. How old are you?

Crush: Hundred and fifty, and still young, dude. Rock on.

Marlin: We did it, we did it oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! No eating here tonight, Woo!

Marlin, Dory: Eating here tonight!

Dory: No, no, no eating here tonight, you're on a diet!

Marlin: Dory there's no way out!

[Bruce bangs on the door]

Dory: Hello?

Marlin: Dory, help me find a way out!

Dory: Sorry, can't help you, trying to escape!

Marlin: Dory, what are we going to do?

Dory: Hey look here, "es-ca-pe!" Its funny, it's spelled just like the word escape...

Dory: I saw a boat.

Marlin: You did?

Dory: Yeah, it went by not too long ago. Follow me.

[few seconds later]

Dory: Would you quit it? What, the ocean isnt big enough for you or something like that? You got a problem? Huh? Do ya, do ya, do ya? You wanna piece of me? Yeah, yeah! Ooh, I'm scared now! What?

Marlin: What? You said you saw a boat.

Dory: A boat?

Marlin: YES.

Dory: Hey, I've seen a boat. It went by not too long ago. It went... this way. It went this way.

Marlin: Wait a minute, you already told me which way the boat went.

Dory: I did? Oh, no...

Marlin: There was this mollusk, and he walks up to this sea cucumber. Normally, they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke everyone talks. So the sea mollusk says to the cucumber...

[sees the mask]

Marlin: Nemo!

Chum: [laughing] Nemo! Ha ha! Nemo... I don't get it.

Bruce: For a clown fish, he's not that funny.

Marlin: The water's going down. It's-it's-it's going down!

Dory: Hmm. Are you sure about that?

Marlin: Look! Already it's half-empty.

Dory: Hmm... I'd say it's half-full.

Marlin: Stop that! It's half-empty!

Crush: Alright, we're here, dudes! Get ready! Your exit's comin' up, man!

Marlin: Where? I don't see it.

Dory: There! I see it! I see it!

Marlin: You mean the swirling vortex of terror?

Crush: That's it, dude!

Marlin: [introduction to the main menu of the first disc of the DVD] Where is it? Where is it?

[the menu appears]

Dory: Oh there's the menu, I knew it was around here somewhere.

Marlin: Well.

[Marlin and Dory do not appear onscreen during this menu exchange]

Marlin: [beginning of menu loop; Marlin talks to the viewer at home] Okay, you've got a lot of choices here. You can watch just the movie *without* the commentary...

Dory: [interrupting] Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I'm so excited! I've always wanted to see... "The Little Mermaid"!

Marlin: Good. Well this is "Finding Nemo".

Dory: Oh, well that sounds nice, too. Maybe we should watch *that* one.

Marlin: We're watching that one! This is "Finding Nemo"!

Dory: [sounding flattered] Oh you shouldn't have switched just for me!

Marlin: Unbelievable...

[pause]

Dory: I've always wanted to be in a film.

Marlin: You were in a film. THIS one. "Finding Nemo"!

Dory: No way! I'd remember that.

[laughs strangely]

Dory: Seriously...

Marlin: No you wouldn't...

Dory: Yes I would.

[excited inhalation sigh]

Dory: Being in a film would be so glamorous!

Marlin: [nonplussed] Really?

Dory: Oh my. Fabulous! Where's my trailer? I need water!

Marlin: Dory...

Dory: Fill my trailer with water!

Marlin: Something's wrong with you.

[pause]

Dory: Just keep watching, just keep watching, just keep watching watching watching. Watching, watching, watching...

[continues singing in this manner while Marlin speaks]

Marlin: You got a lot of choices here. Or you don't even have to watch *this* movie. Take the disc out, and I'll stop talking.

[Dory is still singing]

Marlin: There are no wrong choices. The only wrong choice is to sit there like you're doing.

[Dory is still singing]

Marlin: There are a lot of choices here, just pick one! Pick one so we can start! Please! All of us got nothing to do! Hit a choice, will ya?

Dory: [still singing] Hoo hoo, hoo hoo! Keep on watching...

Marlin: I can't afford any more delays and you're one of those fish that causes delays. Sometimes it's a good thing. There's a whole group of fish . They're delay fish.

Dory: You mean...

[whimpers]

Dory: . You mean you don't like me?

Marlin: No, of course I like you. It's because I like you I don't want to be with you. It's a complicated emotion.

Dory: [At the entrance to the trench] Come on, let's go.

Marlin: No, no, no! Bad trench, bad trench! Come on, we're swimming over this thing.

Dory: Whoa, partner. Little red flag going up. Something tells me we should go through it, not over it.

Marlin: Are you even looking at this thing? It's got death written all over it!

Dory: I'm sorry, but I really, really, really think we should go through it.

Marlin: And I'm really, really done talking about this. Over we go.

Dory: Come on, trust me on this one.

Marlin: Trust you?

Dory: Yes, trust. It's what friends do.

Marlin: Look, something shiny!

Dory: Where?

Marlin: Oh, it just swam over the trench! Come on, we'll follow it. Let's go.

Dory: Okay.

Marlin: ...and the sea cucumber turns to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

[Everyone laughs]

Mr. Ray: [introduction to the Bonus Features menu of the first disc of the DVD; Mr. Ray is singing] Let's make a selection, a selection, a selection. Let's make a selection on the D-V-D! Ohhhhh! Pick something.

Nemo: [looks down at the reef] Cool!

Mr. Ray: [all characters are off-screen past this point] Welcome explorers! So much to see, so much to learn. Let's go!

[long pause]

Mr. Ray: Okay, optical orbits up front, and let's pick a button.

Dory: Uh! I'd like to see it with the commentary!

Marlin: It's not up to you.

Dory: Well, they might listen to me; I speak mammal. Choose the commentary!

Marlin: Unbelievable...

Mr. Ray: Sooo... Moving along!

[pause]

Mr. Ray: All scientific exploration is an act of discovery, so pick a button and discover what happens.

Bruce: [Bruce's Easter egg narration on the same menu] Hullo. My name is Bruce. I promise to watch all the making-of features, listen to the complete audio-visual commentary, and search diligently for Easter Eggs. On my honor, so help me.

Marlin: Now it's my turn. I'm thinking of something dark and mysterious. It's a fish we don't know. If we ask it directions, it could ingest us and spit out our bones.

Dory: What is it with men and asking for directions?

Marlin: I don't want to play the gender card right now. You want to play a card, let's play the "let's not die" card.

[Marlin and Dory are racing through the jellyfish forest. Marlin starts talking to himself]

Marlin: So, we're cheating death now, that's what we're doing, and we're having fun at the same time, I can do this, just be careful...

Dory: Yeah, careful I don't make you cry when I win!

Marlin: Oh, I don't think so!

Dory: Ha, ha, ha, ha! Woo! Give it up old man, you can't fight evolution, I was built for speed.

Marlin: The question is Dory, are you hungry?

Dory: Hungry?

Marlin: Yeah. 'Cause you're about to eat my bubbles!

Marlin: [inside the whale as it starts to swallow] What's going on?

Dory: I'll ask. Whaaaa...

Marlin: No, no more whale! You can't speak whale!

Dory: Yes I can!

Marlin: No, you can't! You think you can do these things, but you can't, Nemo!

Bob: Hey, you're doing pretty well for a first-timer.

Marlin: Well, you can't hold on to them forever, can you?

Bill: You know I had a tough time when my oldest went out to the drop off.

Marlin: They've just got to grow up som - THE DROP OFF? THEY'RE GOING TO THE DROP OFF? WHAT ARE YOU, INSANE? WHY DON'T WE JUST FRY THEM UP NOW AND SERVE THEM WITH CHIPS?

Bob: Hey Marty, calm down.

Marlin: Don't tell me to be calm, pony boy.

Bob: Pony boy?

Bill: You know for a clownfish, he really isn't that funny.

Ted: Pity.

Nigel: [quietly] Okay, don't make any sudden moves. Hop inside my mouth... if you want to live.

Marlin: Hop in your mouth, huh? And how does that make me live?

Seagull: Mine?

Nigel: Because - I can take you to your son.

Marlin: Yeah, right.

Nigel: No, I know your son. He's orange and has a gimpy fin on one side.

Marlin: [shouts and jumps] That's Nemo!

Dory: Hey, what's wrong?

Marlin: What's wrong? While they're busy doing their little impressions, I'm miles from home with a fish who can't even remember her name.

Dory: Boy, I bet that's frustrating.

Marlin: Meanwhile, my son is missing.

Dory: Your son Chico?

Marlin: Nemo.

Dory: Right. Got it.

Marlin: But it doesn't matter, because no one in this entire ocean is going to help me.

Dory: Well, I'm helping you.

Marlin: It's just as well. He might be hungry.

Dory: Oh don't worry. Whales don't eat clownfish. They eat krill.

Krill: Swim away!

Dory: Oh look! Krill!

Marlin: [Inside the Orca Whale] I have to get out of here! I have to find MY SON! I have to tell him... how!... old!... sea turtles are!

[Sobs]

Marlin: I can't read human.

Dory: Then we need to find a fish that can read this. Hey, look! Sharks!

Marlin: [Inside the whale] I have to get out of here! I have to find my son! I have to tell him how old sea turtles are!

Marlin: Hey. Guess what?

Nemo: What?

Marlin: Sea turtles? I met one, and he was a hundred and fifty years old.

Nemo: Hundred and fifty?

Marlin: Yup.

Nemo: Oh. 'Cause Sandy Plankton said that they only live to be a hundred.

Marlin: Sandy Plankton? You think I would travel the whole ocean and not know as much as Sandy Plankton? He was a hundred and fifty, not a hundred!

Marlin: If this is some kind of practical joke, it's not funny, and I know funny. I'm a clownfish!

[Nemo has gone to the boat]

Marlin: Nemo! What do you think you're doing You're gonna get stuck out there and I'll have to go get you before another fish does. Get back here! Get back here now! Stop! You make one more move, mister...

[Nemo lifts his fin]

Marlin: Don't you dare. If you put one fin on that boat, are you listening to me? Don't touch the...

[Nemo touches the boat]

Marlin: Nemo!

Tad: [Whispering] He touched the butt.

Bruce: All right, anyone else? Hello, how 'bout you, mate? What's your problem?

Marlin: Me? I don't... I don't have a problem.

Bruce: Oh. Okay...

Bruce, Anchor, Chum: [to each other] Denial.

[Marlin and Dory are each pulling on the mask; it snaps and hits Dory in the face]

Dory: Ow!

Marlin: Oh, I'm really sorry. Are you okay?

Dory: Ow, ow, ow!

Marlin: I'm so sorry.

Dory: You really clocked me there. Am I bleeding?

[a wisp of blood floats from Dory's nose]

Marlin: Ohh!

Dory: Ow. Ow. Ow.

Bruce: Dory, are you okay...

[Sniffs the blood; his eyes turn black]

Bruce: Oh, ooooooh, that's good...

Chum, Anchor: Intervention!

[Squirts falls off the back of another turtle and off the current]

Marlin: [freaks out] Oh, my goodness!

Crush: Whoa. Kill the motor, dude.

Dory: Well, let's just ask someone for directions.

Marlin: Who do you want to ask, the *speck*? There's no one here!

Marlin: No! I didn't come this far to be breakfast.

[as Bruce bangs against the door of the sunken ship]

Dory: Who is it?

Marlin: Dory, help me find a way out!

Dory: [to Bruce] Sorry. Could you come back later? We're trying to escape.

Marlin: I'm dead. I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I died, I'm dead.

Marlin: You think you can do these things, but you just can't, Nemo.

Dory: I saw a boat.

Marlin: Where? Which way?

Dory: It went... this way. It went this way. Follow me.

[few seconds later, she starts zig-zagging in front of him and glancing back]

Dory: Would you quit it? What, the ocean isn't big enough for you or something like that? You got a problem? Huh? Do ya, do ya, do ya? You wanna piece of me? Yeah, yeah! Ooh, I'm scared now! What?

Marlin: Wait a minute...

Dory: Stop following me, okay?

Marlin: What are you talking about? You're showing which way the boat went.

Dory: A boat? Hey, I've seen a boat. It passed by not too long ago. It went... this way. It went this way. Follow me.

Marlin: Wait a minute, wait a minute. What is going on? You already told me which way the boat was going.

Dory: I did? Oh, no...

School of Fish: Hey, hey! You like impressions?

Dory: Mmm-hmm.

School of Fish: Okay, just like in rehearsal, gentlemen.

[School takes form of swordfish]

School of Fish: So, what are we? Take a guess.

Dory: Oh, oh, I've seen one of those.

School of Fish: I'm a fish with a nose like a *sword*.

Dory: Wait, wait, umm...

Marlin: It's a swordfish!

School of Fish: Hey, clown boy! Let the lady guess.

[Takes form of lobster]

School of Fish: Where's the butter?

Dory: Ooh! It's on the tip of my tongue...

Marlin: [Coughing] Lobster!

School of Fish: Saw that.

Marlin: What?

School of Fish: [Takes form of octopus] Lots of legs, swims in the ocean.

Dory: Clam!

School of Fish: Close enough.

[Takes form of pirate ship]

School of Fish: Oh, it's a whale of a tale, I'll tell you, lad...

Dory: Oh, they're good.

Marlin: Now, what's the one thing we have to remember about the ocean?

Nemo: It's not safe.

Marlin: That's my boy.

Marlin: It's because I like you, I don't want to be with you. It's a complicated emotion.

Marlin: How do you know if they're ready?

Crush: Well, you never really know, but when they know, you know, y'know?

Marlin: I was right. You know what? We'll start school in a year or two.

Nemo: No, Dad! Just because you're scared of the ocean...

Marlin: Clearly, you're not ready, and you're not coming back until you are. You think you can do these things, but you just can't, Nemo!

Nemo: [pause, mutters] I hate you.

Bruce: So, what's a couple of bites like you doing out so late?

Marlin: Nothing, we're not doing anything, we're not even out.

Bruce: Great! Then how would you little morsels like to come to a little - a little get-together I'm having?

Dory: You mean like a party?

Bruce: Yeah, that's it, a party! What do you say?

Dory: Oh, I love parties! That sounds like fun.

Marlin: Parties are fun, and it's tempting, but we really have to...

Bruce: [Takes Dory and Marlin by the fin] Aw, come on. I insist.

Marlin: [Nervous] Okay, that's all that matters.

Marlin: The Drop Off? They're going to The Drop Off? What are you, insane? Why don't we just fry them up now and serve them with chips?

Marlin: What if they don't like me?

Coral: Marlin!

Marlin: No, really.

Coral: There's over 400 eggs, odds are, one of them is bound to like you.

Marlin: How do you know something bad isn't gonna happen?

Dory: I don't.

Dory: DUCK.

Marlin: [looks up] That's not a duck, it's a... PELICAN.

Dory: Excuse me? Whoo-hoo! Little fella? Hello! Don't be rude. Say hi.

Marlin: Ha. Hello.

Dory: His son Bingo...

Marlin: Nemo.

Dory: ...Nemo was taken to, um...

Marlin: Sydney

Dory: ...Sydney, yeah. And it's really, really important that we get there as fast as we can, so can you help us out? Come on, little fella. Come on.

Marlin: Dory? I'm a little fella. I don't think that's a little fella.

Marlin: How many stripes do I have?

Nemo: Dad, I'm fine...

Marlin: Answer the stripe question!

Nemo: [exasperated] *Three*.

Marlin: No! SEE? Something's wrong with you!

[he counts]

Marlin: I have one... two... three? That's all I have?

Marlin: Something's wrong with you, really.

Marlin: He's my son, he was taken by these divers...

Dory: Oh my, you poor fish.

Chum: Humans! Think they own everything.

Anchor: Probably American!

Marlin: Of course he wants us to go there! That's eating us.

[wagging his tail on the whale's taste bud]

Marlin: How do I taste, Moby, huh? DO I TASTE GOOD?

[the parents are looking at their 400 unhatched children]

Coral: We still have to name them...

Marlin: You wanna name all of 'em, right now? All right.

Marlin: [points to the eggs on the left side of the nest] We'll name this half Marlin Jr.,

Marlin: [points to the eggs on the right side] And then this half Coral Jr. Okay, we're done.

[Marlin leaves]

Coral: I like Nemo.

Marlin: [Comes back] Nemo? Well, we'll name one Nemo, but I'd like most of them to be Marlin Jr.

Nemo: Dad, you're not gonna freak out like you did at the petting zoo, are you?

Marlin: Hey, that snail was about to charge.

Marlin: I can't make out these markings.

Dory: Then we need to find a fish that can read this. Hey, look! Sharks!

[Marlin and Dory are arguing about whether or not they should go over the trench]

Dory: Come on, trust me on this one.

Marlin: Trust you?

Dory: Yes, trust, it's what friends do.

[Nemo and Marlin are heading off to Nemo's first day of school, they stop at a busy traffic street]

Marlin: Wait, wait...

[Red fish darts out and uses its color as a stop light, Nemo and Marlin cross]

Marlin: Hold my fin, hold my fin!

[Marlin tells Nigel to go into the dentist's office]

Nigel: I can't go in there!

Marlin: Oh yes you can! Charge!

[Marlin grabs Nigel's tongue a forces him to charge into the room]

Marlin: [exasperated] Would somebody please just give me directions?

[School of fish take shape of clown fish with sour expression]

School of Fish: [mockingly] Would somebody please just give me directions?

Marlin: I'm serious!

School of Fish: Blah-blah-blah, me-me-blah! Blah-blah, blah-blah, me-me-me!

[first lines]

Marlin: Wow.

Coral: Mmm.

Marlin: Wow.

Coral: Mm-hmm.

Marlin: Wow.

Coral: Yes, Marlin. I... No, I see it. It's beautiful.

Marlin: So, Coral, when you said you wanted an ocean view, you didn't think you were going to get the whole ocean, did you? Huh?

[deep breath]

Marlin: Oh, yeah. A fish can breathe out here. Did your man deliver, or did he deliver?

Coral: My man delivered.

Marlin: And it wasn't so easy.

Coral: Because a lot of other clownfish had their eyes on this place.

Marlin: The water is half empty!

Dory: Hmmm. I'd say it's half full.

Marlin: Where's Nemo? Where is he?

Bloat: [pointing frantically] Dentist! Dentist!

Marlin: What's a dentist? What is that?

[Gerald the pelican seems to be choking]

Nigel: [casually] Alright Gerald, what is it? Fish got your tongue?

[Gerald opens his mouth to show this is indeed the case]

Dory, Marlin: Aaaaahh!

Nigel: Love a duck!

Marlin: [Holding Nemo's cracked egg in his fin] I promise to never let anything happen to you, Nemo.

Marlin: I promised him I'd never let anything happen to him.

Dory: Hm. That's a funny thing to promise.

Marlin: What?

Dory: Well, you can't let anything happen to him, then nothing would ever happen to him.

Henry: It's gonna be alright, Luce.

Lucy: [to Henry] Don't call me Luce. I barely know you.

Marlin: Sweetie, you're sorta dating him.

Lucy: [Lucy looks at Henry]

Henry: Sorry I'm not better looking.

Dr. Keats: And now ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce you to our most distinguished clinical subject: Tom

Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom.

Henry: Henry.

Marlin: Marlin.

Doug: Doug.

Lucy: Lucy.

Ten Second Tom: Hi. Oh, those are cool flip flops. Where did you get them?

Doug: You like those? It's interesting story. I was over on the North Shore the other day...

Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom.

Henry: Henry.

Ten Second Tom: Hi.

Marlin: Marlin.

Marlin: Doug, once again, off the juice.

Doug: It'th not juithe. It'th a protein thake.

Lucy: Did Alicia marry that guy?

Marlin: yea.

Henry: Doug, did you win the Mr. Hawaiian contest?

Doug: I didn't know there wath gonna be a urine tethst.

Lucy: [to Henry] Did we have sex?

[Marlin and Doug look at Henry]

Henry: No, we didn't. Just so everyone knows

[Marlin and Doug turn away]

Henry: We want to!

[Marlin and Doug look again]

Henry: Just kidding.

Henry: Can I ask you guys something? What's gonna happen down the line? Someday she's gonna wake up and look in the mirror and notice her face's aged ten years overnight.

Marlin: You know something, Henry? I worry about that every day of my damn life.

Henry: Actually I'm going on a trip in a little while to study undersea Pacific walrus behaviors.

Doug: Thounds kind of fruity.

Henry: Thank you.

Doug: How long'th it going to take?

Henry: Uh... about a year.

Doug: I gueth you won't mith days like thith.

Henry: Well, maybe days like this don't have to be so bad.

Marlin: What are you trying to say?

Henry: Well, when you guys tell her, she's not just finding out about the accident. She's finding out that her life is basically a setup. I think that's what freaks her out the most.

Doug: Oh, you're an exthpert now?

Henry: No. I'm just saying I wish there was another way besides: "Sorry we couldn't trick you today. Here's some pictures of your broken head."

Doug: You wanna broken head, huh thmart guy?

Marlin: Why? You gonna give it to him?

Doug: No, Daddy, I thought you wath gonna do it.

Henry: Nobody's gotta break my head, guys. I'm gonna split anyways.

Marlin: [glaring at Doug] Don't go just 'cause my thon is thychotic.

Henry: Good night. Sweet dreams. Keep 'em dry there Doug.

Doug: Very funny.

Doug: [gives Henry a box] Thith ith from Nick and Thue. They thend their betht witheth for a thafe trip.

Henry: That's very nice. Spam and Reese's. All right.

Doug: I love Thpam and Reethe's, can I have it?

Henry: Um, I guess.

[Doug grabs the box]

Marlin: Doug!

Lucy, Doug: [sings] Happy birthday to you.

Lucy: [spoken] And you don't look a day over twenty five.

Marlin: Yeah, right. And Doug's muscles aren't pharmaceutically enhanced.

Doug: What are you talking about? I use a herb supplement that can be purchased at any health food store. Check this out. Check out these glutes. Rock hard, baby. Pretty sweet, huh.

Marlin: Stop it! You're gonna make me throw up on the cake.

Doug: Is this the guy?

Marlin: Yeah. Mr. Roth, I have one simple request. Stay away from my daughter.

Henry: [begging Marlin to let Henry see Lucy and apologize after she ate at the diner] Absolutely. I just, I think I hurt her feelings and I don't want it to end like that.

Doug: Yeah, well, it's gonna end like this!

[Doug runs to beat up Henry but then Henry holds him down]

Henry: Calm down, little fella!

Doug: I'm gonna kill you. You're a dead man. Okay I'm calm! I'm calm!

[pause]

Doug: I coulda whooped his ass, Daddy but this gravel - I siped on it a fwell.

Marlin: Then maybe you need to do a little bit more butt flexes.

Doug: Cheap shot, Dad.

Marlin: You sure you don't want to take Doug with you?

Henry: Hey! What the heck are you guys doing here?

Lucy: [Marlin and Doug are watching the Vikings play the Lions] What's the score?

Marlin: Vikings have it at the two yard line.

Lucy: Maybe the Vikings will win for your birthday, and I'll bet Culpepper runs it in.

Doug: I'll bet he fakes the handoff to Williams and throws it Kleinsasser in the end zone. Loser does the dishes?

Lucy: You're on.

[Lucy and Doug handshake on it. Doug's prediction comes true]

Lucy: Darn. Maybe you should be a coach, Doug.

Marlin: [Throwing a shoe at Doug] Moron.

Marlin: [to Doug] Okay, okay, okay! Enough with the titty dance!

Marlin: [Marlin is cutting Ritalin on the counter. Marlin and Chloe snort it] Thank God for little brothers with ADD.

Chloe: Yeah, how's that working out for him? Has his behavior improved?

Red: [to the freshmen potheads] There she is boys, Mandy Lane. Untouched, pure. Since the dawn of junior year men have tried to possess her, and to date all have failed. Some have even died in their reckless pursuit of this angel.

Jake: I can see your nipples.

Chloe: Obviously.

Marlin: How do you get them that hard?

Chloe: It's a secret.

Marlin: [showing belly button ring] Check out what I just got.

Mandy Lane: Is it contagious?

Chloe: Does it explain that thing on your face?

Marlin: Whatever smarty cunt. Serious check it out.

[flips belly button piercing]

Marlin: Tasty huh.

Chloe: Marlin, don't get me wrong, but you are all pudge. That thing is going to get lost in the folds.

Marlin: I'm not fat.

Chloe: [sarcastically] Ok.

Marlin: [looking at map of USA with Xs] What's with all the Xs.

Red: Jake's hooked up with a girl from each of those states.

Marlin: Yeah right. There are like 40 states accounted for here.

Jake: 42

Red: And the fuckers parents are taking him to Alaska in August.