Hughie Quotes in Still Crazy (1998)

Beano: You know what they say. "If at first you don't succeed... "

Hughie: "Pull your foreskin over your heed."

Beano: Are you still a road dog, Hughie?

Hughie: Nah. The last tour I did was ten years ago. It was Aerosmith, but they've gone and cleaned up their act. It's all wheatgrass juice and fuckin' pumpkin seeds. I hope you guys are still crazy, or I'm outta here.

Beano: [Playing a game to name bands with parts of the body as part of their name] Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show!

Clare: Objection, your honor!

Hughie: Objection sustained.

Beano: Well, some people 'ave hooks instead of hands.

Les: Yeah, but it's not part of the body; it's not... anotomical.

Beano: It is if you haven't got a fuckin' hand!

Hughie: [Holding a joint] Would you like a hit?

Karen Knowles: I haven't done that in years

[the Band screws up]

Hughie: Now would be a very good time to start.

Hughie: [v.o] If it's true that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, then drummers are from Pluto.

Hughie: History teaches us that men behave wisely once they've exhausted all other alternatives. For most rock bands, the pursuit of wisdom's a low priority compared to fame, fortune and fornication. Such a band was Strange Fruit.

Young Beano: You know what they say. "If at first you don't succeed... "

Hughie: "Pull your foreskin over your heed."

Hughie: It's like 'Night of the Living Dead Two'! I'm gonna get some of those Organ Donor cards!

Hughie: [answering phone in the middle of the night] Hello?

Beano: [through phone, still playing bandname/body part game] "Cockney Rebel"? Cock? Knee? That's two points that is!

Hughie: [voiceover] Karen still had ink on her fingers from school when she went to work for the Fruits. Started by sorting their laundry; by Wisbech she was sorting their lives.

Hughie: [last lines, voice over] I was wrong about God. Turns out he likes that 70's stuff after all. So it didn't piss down, and they played 4 encores! And with the Almighty in their corner, who knows what might happen? And how will the Fruits conspire to bollocks things up this time around? We wait with bated breath.

Hughie: Feast your eyes on this magnificent land yacht: tinted windows, air conditioned, twin porto-loos - not to mention an extensive library of pornography courtesy of the Psychedelic Furs world tour of 19 and 88. Step right up, ladies and gentlemen!

Tony Costello: Hey, Hughie, pongs in here a bit. Think one of the Furs is still in here.

Hughie: That's pedigree, Tony

[inhaling deeply]

Hughie: . Smell that Dettol, fag ends, vomit!

Hughie: Hope this isn't another Sunderland!

[speaking of Ray's mood swings]

Luke Shand: What happened at Sunderland?

Beano: He tried to slash his wrists with my Swiss Army knife.

Les: Yeah, he'd never find the blade.