Harry Grout Quotes in Doing Time (1979)

Harry Grout: Now we need someone reliable as trainer.

Fletcher: Don't look at me. I've grown disenchanted with the game. Twenty years of supporting Orient does that for a man.

Fletcher: 'Ere Grouty, listen to this.

Harry Grout: Listen to what?

Fletcher: You know Robbie Patten who works in the laundry, well 'is wife wanted a divorce so she goes to the solicitor and 'e says "well, you've got to 'ave grounds". "What's grounds" she says. So 'e says "Firstly, there's insanity", well Robbie's a bit of a dipstick, like, but 'e's not certifiable. "Secondly there's desertion", well 'e's in 'ere, 'e can't go nowhere. "Third there's cruelty", well as you know 'e wouldn't hurt a fly "so that leaves adultery", "what's adultery" she says, so 'e tells 'er and she says "ah. I think we've got 'im there. 'E is not the father of my child!".

Harry Grout: Now then.

Fletcher: Listen Grouty, if it's about the teeth.

Harry Grout: What?

Fletcher: Well, I realise you are entitled to a first refusal.

Harry Grout: Are you referring to Mackay's missing molars?

Fletcher: I'm assuming that's why I was sent for. I mean, nothing gets past you Grouty.

Harry Grout: Oh no. If you've got them it's your tickle.

Harry Grout: I'm Harry Grout.

Oakes: Everyone knows that. Bill Oakes.

Harry Grout: I know your form Oakesy. You've been moved here from Wakefield where you obviously kept your nose clean. Half-way through a twelve stretch for armed robbery, isn't it?

Oakes: That's right.

Harry Grout: Big tickle, that last job of yours. I hope the money's safely stowed away.

Oakes: Someone's been investing it for me.

Harry Grout: Oh, safe as prefabs then.

Oakes: That's why I want out, I wish to unfreeze my assets and take off to the sun.

Harry Grout: I can see why you would.

Oakes: Naturally there will be the appropriate recompense to your good self.

Harry Grout: Yeah, I like the word recompense.

Oakes: I was thinking...

Harry Grout: [interrupts] No. Let me tell you *my* thinking. 5000. Three before, two after. It's only fair the lion's share should come up first. After taking off to the sun, people are often careless about tying up their affairs.

Oakes: Where'd you want it put?

Harry Grout: Hastings and Thanet Building Society. Bexhill branch.

Oakes: And if you don't spring me?

Harry Grout: Then you get your money back. Mind, I keep the interest.

Samson: Oi, Fletcher.

Harry Grout: There'll be something for you in your Christmas stocking, Fletcher.

Fletcher: Oh, thank you sir. I'll look forward to that, sir.