Harold Gridley Quotes in Road to Bali (1952)

[performing for Princess Lala's court as Scottish bagpipers, a humorous homage to her late Scottish father, MacTavish]

Harold Gridley: Say, Haggis!

George Cochran: What is it, MacBaggis?

Harold Gridley: Have you heard the latest about MacTavish?

George Cochran: What's he done now?

Harold Gridley: I heard he's living on the roof!

George Cochran: Why would he be living on the roof?

Harold Gridley: Because he heard someone say, "Drinks are on the house!"

Harold Gridley: He's gonna sing, folks. Now's the time to go out and get the popcorn.

[Harold has been caught in a tree snare, proving the island is inhabited]

George Cochran: I wonder what the locals are like?

Princess Lala: I hope they're not cannibals or headhunters!

Harold Gridley: I hope they're orange pickers, I want to get out of this tree!

George Cochran: Oh, stop squawking, you'll fall off when you're ripe!

[George and Harold are surrounded by beautiful native women. Offstage voice shrieks "A-ough! Oh no!"]

George Cochran: What's that?

Harold Gridley: Oh, that's Errol Flynn. He can't stand it.

[One of the film's many cameos]

Princess Lala: Look!

George Cochran: The African Queen! Humphrey Bogart?

Harold Gridley: Boy, is he lost!

George Cochran: Hey! Hey, Bogie!

[All three run toward Bogart]

Harold Gridley: Hey, jungle fever! That's what we got. That was just a mirage!

George Cochran: Oh yeah? What about this?

[Holding up a trophy]

George Cochran: Humphrey Bogart's Academy Award!

Harold Gridley: An Oscar! Gimme that, you got one. Friends, this is a great occasion, me receiving this Academy Award. And I'd like to say a word...

[roar from offstage]

George Cochran: Run!

Harold Gridley: That's the word!

Ken Arok: You will *love* Vaatu. It is an island paradise.

Harold Gridley: Girls, huh?

Ken Arok: Could it be paradise without girls?

Harold Gridley: Say, I haven't looked for work since I was night watchmen at Vassar

[a college for women only, until 1969]

Harold Gridley: .

Harold Gridley: Is that the way all the natives dress on your island?

Shirtless Male Native: Nods

Harold Gridley: Really? George, do you suppose...

George Cochran: Not a chance.

Harold Gridley: Stick around folks, he could be wrong you know.

Princess Lala: Do you always fight over girls?

Harold Gridley: Well, what else can we fight over? We've never had any money

[Looking straight into the camera]

Harold Gridley: That's for Washington!

[a female ape has sat on Harold's lap]

George Cochran: Oh, buster, I don't like the look in her eye!

[the ape swings a paw at George]

Harold Gridley: George, get a rock, a club, anything! Kill one of us!

[George and Princess Lala pull Harold down]

Harold Gridley: This is the sloppiest hanging I ever attended!

Harold Gridley: [Caught in an animal trap and suspended in the air] Get me down! My brain's rushing to my head.

Harold Gridley: [whistles, indicating Lala's headdress with a golden spire] This kid's got her own antenna.

Harold Gridley: Don't fool with the fun flute unless you consult with the master.

Harold Gridley: You collapsable Como!

Harold Gridley: Gridley, Harold Gridley- sportsman, raconteur, polo player, and all around good egg.