Dmitri Quotes in Mortdecai (2015)


Dmitri Quotes:

  • Mortdecai: Your mother and father only met once. And money changed hands.

    Dmitri: [punches him]

    Mortdecai: Probably less than a 20. And they say she was dressed as a man at the time.

  • Ethan: [on walkie talkie] We found him yet?

    Dmitri: No, I don't see him.

    Ethan: He's the one on the cell phone, you idiot.

    [looks through his binoculars and sees various people on cell phones]

    Dmitri: Everybody's on a cell phone.

  • Dmitri: If I learn you ever once laid a finger on my mother's body, living or dead, I swear to God, I'll cut your throat! You hear me?

    M. Gustave: I thought I was supposed to be a fucking faggot.

    Dmitri: You are, but you're bisexual.

  • Dmitri: [about M. Gustave] This criminal has plagued my family for nearly 20 years. He's a ruthless adventurer and a con artist who preys on mentally feeble, sick old ladies! And he probably fucks them, too!

    M. Gustave: I go to bed with all my friends.

    [Dmitri punches M. Gustave, Zero punches Dmitri, Jopling punches Zero]

  • Henckels: Who's shooting who?

    Dmitri: That's Gustave H., the escaped murderer and art thief! I've got him cornered!

    M. Gustave: That's Dmitri Desgoffe und Taxis! He's responsible for the killing of Deputy Kovacs, Serge X and his club-footed sister, plus his own mother!


    Henckels: Nobody move; everybody's under arrest.

  • Dmitri: [pointing to painting] What's the meaning of this shit?

  • Dmitri: You're not getting Boy with Apple, you goddamn little fruit!

    M. Gustave: How's that supposed to make me feel?

  • Dmitri: [Discovering Boy with Apple's disappearance] What's the meaning of this shit?

    Laetizia: [Three sisters speak simultaneously] Boy with Apple? I thought you'd hidden it.

    Marguerite: [Three sisters speak simultaneously] Why are you only noticing now?

    Carolina: [Three sisters speak simultaneously] I assumed you took it. I assumed it went to the tax appraiser.

    Dmitri: Are you fucking kidding me?

  • [Doris lands on Spike's pot]

    Spike: Hey, ring my doorbell!

    [Doris floats over to Dimitri]

    Dmitri: No, no, no ring MY doorbell! THAT doorbell will give you a rash!

  • Mrs. Raskolnikov: Roderick, where did you get this money?

    Antonya Raskolnikov: Dmitri, where did you get that money?

    Dmitri: Search me? Where did you get it, Roderick?

    Roderick Raskolnikov: All I had to do was ask for it! Take what you want! Lie! Cheat! Bluff! Take life by the throat! Come on, lets go out and celebrate...

Browse more character quotes from Mortdecai (2015)


Characters on Mortdecai (2015)