Dave Skylark Quotes in The Interview (2014)

Dave Skylark: They hate us because they ain't us!

Dave Skylark: [admires a war tank] Holy fuckamole. Is that real?

Kim Jong-un: It was a gift to my grandfather from Stalin

Dave Skylark: In my country it's pronounced Stallone.

Kim Jong-un: You're so funny, Dave.

Agent Lacey: The CIA would love it if you two could... take him out.

Dave Skylark: Hmm?

Agent Lacey: Take him out.

Dave Skylark: Take him out?

Aaron Rapaport: For drinks?

Agent Lacey: No, no, no. Take him out.

Dave Skylark: Take out... like to dinner?

Aaron Rapaport: Take him out to a meal?

Agent Lacey: Take him out.

Aaron Rapaport: On the town?

Aaron Rapaport: To party?

Agent Lacey: No.

[whispering]

Agent Lacey: Take him out.

Aaron Rapaport: You want us to assassinate the leader of North Korea.

Agent Lacey: Yes.

Dave Skylark: Whaaaaaaaat?

Dave Skylark: This whole time I thought you were Samwise to my Frodo. But you're just... Boromir!

Aaron Rapaport: I don't know who the FUCK that is!

Dave Skylark: 'I don't know who Boromir is', that's such a Boromir thing to say!

Dave Skylark: Haters gonna hate, and ain'ters gonna ain't!

Dave Skylark: [singing] ... just own the night! Like it's the 4th of July!

Kim Jong-un: [crying] No, not the chorus, please!

Dave Skylark: [singing] Cuz Kimmie you're a firework! Come on let your colors burn!

Dave Skylark: Get that goat! Get that goat! I have some questions for that goat.

Dave Skylark: Team Skylark never backs down from a jerkoff.

Dave Skylark: This is 2014, women are smart now!

Aaron Rapaport: It's that Katy fucking Perry?

Dave Skylark: Leave it on! It helps me to concentrate.

Dave Skylark: CUNT PUNCH THAT BITCH

Dave Skylark: You got fucked by Robocop, dude!

[last lines]

Dave Skylark: This was a revolution ignited with nothing more than a camera and some questions. Questions that led a man, once revered as a god among mortals, to cry and shit his pants.

Dave Skylark: How's the puppy!

Sook: Puppy is O.K.!

Dave Skylark: You protect that puppy with your life.

Dave Skylark: This is like Spike Lee saying he's white.

Dave Skylark: Maybe 'the media' is manipulating you!

Dave Skylark: Kim must die, it's the American way.

Sook: How many times can the U.S. make the same mistake?

Aaron Rapaport: As many times as it takes!

Kim Jong-un: I have no comment on Margaritas.

Dave Skylark: Then why don't you drink them?

Kim Jong-un: I don't like brain freeze.

[crying]

Kim Jong-un: Fuck you, Dave. You fucking asshole.

Dave Skylark: He ate it! You're not even supposed to touch it and he ate it! Chewing it! Chewing it!

Dave Skylark: Aaron, are you inside the tiger?

Dave Skylark: As the two best friends stared each other in the eyes, they knew that this might be the end of a long road. But they also knew how much they meant to each other. And even though neither one could say it out loud, they were both thinking...

Aaron Rapaport: [whispers] I love you.

[they embrace]

Dave Skylark: Welcome to the jungle, baby, welcome to the jungle. Na na na knees.

Dave Skylark: When you score a Bin Laden, or a Hitler, or an Un, you take it by the balls! It's the first rule of journalism. You give the people what they waaant!

Aaron Rapaport: That's not the first rule of journalism. I think it's like the first rule of like circuses and demolition derbies.

Dave Skylark: [mid-escape] Wait... the puppy!

Dave Skylark: I said that to Aaron that this bitch is as blind as a bat!

Kim Jong-un: I don't know what you're talking about! I never heard this song before!

Dave Skylark: You don't have to lie anymore. Katy Perry's your *favorite*!

Kim Jong-un: Katy who?

Aaron Rapaport: Take your hands away. I saw the boner!

Dave Skylark: I'm not taking my hands away.

Aaron Rapaport: Move your fucking hands!

Dave Skylark: Fine. Wanna see it?

Dave Skylark: You sent my friend into a tiger patch?

Dave Skylark: Would you like a drink or some of Aaron's cocaine?

Aaron Rapaport: Dude! The fuck, man! That was John Kerry's office!

Dave Skylark: Forget this oak tree looking fuck! This is top sense! The Times' heading about... about North Korea, read the bottom... after all that... the death camp shit!

Aaron Rapaport: Although Kim Jong-un rallies his people with cries for the destruction of the United States of America, he is known to be an affluent consumer of American entertainment. His favorite shows are Big Bang Theory... and Skylark tonight!

Dave Skylark: It's a fucking tiger!

Dave Skylark: [on Kim] Look! Look at this butt-fuck! He's got a whole parade of nukes! He's ready to use them.

Reporter: Yo Skylark, which side of President Kim's ass you gonna kiss?

Dave Skylark: I'm not gonna kiss them, but let's just say I might give him something special with my hand

[gestures with his hand and smirks]

Dave Skylark: .

Reporter: [laughing] You gonna jerk him off?

Dave Skylark: What? No! That's a *double entendre*! I'm *foreshadowing*!

Aaron Rapaport: Shut up! Shut up! Get in the fucking car! Shut up! Shut up! Why would you say that? Why would you say that?

Dave Skylark: What a fuckin' bitch, am I right?

Aaron Rapaport: No! You're not right! He's not being a bitch! He's completely right!

Dave Skylark: He's motherfucking peanut butter and jealous!

Aaron Rapaport: He's not jealous!

Dave Skylark: He's putting KY jealous all over his dick!

Aaron Rapaport: What have they gotta be jealous of?

Dave Skylark: Fuckers hate us 'cause they ain't us!

Aaron Rapaport: They hate us 'cause we're anus? What the fuck does the anus have to do with this?

Dave Skylark: They hate us 'cause they AIN'T us!

Aaron Rapaport: That's not what it is!

Kim Jong-un: Good morning, Dave.

Dave Skylark: Good morning.