Congregation Quotes in Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)

Mendez: May the Blessings of the Bomb Almighty, and the Fellowship of the Holy Fallout, descend upon us all. This day and forever more.

Congregation: [singing] Amen!

Caspay, Negro: I reveal my Inmost Self unto my God.

Albina, Fat man: Unto my God.

Congregation: [singing] Unto my God!

Humma Kavula, Congregation: [singing] Oh mighty Arkleseizure, thou gazed from high above. And sneezed from out thy nostrils, a gift of bounteous love. The universe around us emerged from thy nose. Now we await with eager expectation, thy handkerchief, to bring us back to thee.

[End singing]

Zaphod: Hello Humma.

Humma Kavula: Let us pray. Oh mighty one, we raise our noses to you blocked and unblown, send the handkerchief O blessed one that we may be wiped clean.

[Everyone in the congregation sneezes simultaneously]

Humma Kavula: Bless you.

Mia Thermopolis: Welcome. A few moments ago, I realized the only reason I was getting married was because of a law, and that didn't seem like a good enough reason. So, I won't be getting married today. My grandmother has ruled without a man at her side for quite some time, and... I think she rocks at it. So, as the granddaughter of Queen Clarisse and King Rupert...

Congregation: [interrupting] King Rupert, may he rest in peace!

Mia Thermopolis: I ask the members of Parliament to think about your daughters, your nieces, and sisters, and granddaughters, and ask yourselves: would you force them to do what you're trying to make me do? I believe I will be a great queen. I understand Genovia to be a land that combines the beauty of the past with all the best hope of the future. I feel in my heart and soul that I can rule Genovia. I... I love Genovia. Do you think that I would be up here in a wedding dress if I didn't? I stand here ready to take my place as your queen. Without a husband.

Father Gerald: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, & the Holy Spirit, Amen. Let us pray. Father, you have made the bond of marriage a mystery. A symbol of Christ's love for his children. Hear our prayers for Bernard and Lydia through your son Jesus Christ our Lord who lives and wraiths with you and the Holy Ghoat. Eh *Ghost.* One God, forever and ever, Amen.

Matthew: This is his first time. He's a friend of the family.

Charles: Ahhh, Excellent!

Father Gerald: Bernard and Lydia, I shall now ask if you freely undertake the obligations of marriage. Bernard, repeat after me. I do solemnly declare that I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawfully impediment...

Bernard: I do solemnly declare that I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawfully impediment...

Father Gerald: ...why I, Lydia...

Bernard: ...why I, Bernard...

Father Gerald: Whoop, sorry! Why I, Bernard Godfrey St. John Delainey...

Bernard: Why I, Bernard Geoffrey Sinjin Delainey...

Father Gerald: May not be joined in matrimony to Lydia John Herbert.

Bernard: May not be joined in matrimony to Lydia Jane Herbert.

Father Gerald: Lydia, repeat after me. I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawfully impediment why I, Lydia Jane Herbert...

Lydia: I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawfully impediment why I, Lydia Jane Herbert...

Father Gerald: May not be Johned in matrimony...

Lydia: May not be *joined* in matrimony...

Father Gerald: to Bernard Geoffrey Siddle... Siddle Delainey.

Lydia: to Bernard Geoffrey *Sinjin* Delainey.

Father Gerald: I call upon those persons here present to witness... that I, Bernard... Delainey...

Bernard: I call upon those persons here present to witness... that I, Bernard Delainey...

Father Gerald: take thee Lydia Jane Herbert... to be my awful wedded wife.

Bernard: take thee Lydia Jane Herbert... to be my *lawful* wedded wife.

Father Gerald: *That's right*... *That's right*. May Almighty God bless you all in the name of the Father, the Son, & the Holy Spigot... *Spirit*.

Congregation: Amen!

Gareth: Bravo! Bravo!

[Everyone cheers]

Chaplain: Let us praise God. O Lord...

Congregation: O Lord...

Chaplain: ...Ooh, You are so big...

Congregation: ...ooh, You are so big...

Chaplain: ...So absolutely huge.

Congregation: ...So absolutely huge.

Chaplain: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.

Congregation: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.

Chaplain: Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and...

Congregation: And barefaced flattery.

Chaplain: But You are so strong and, well, just so super.

Congregation: Fantastic.

Humphrey: Amen.

Congregation: Amen.

Father Boyce: Jesus said nothing to condemn capital punishment as he hung on the cross, did he?

Congregation: No.

Father Boyce: If ever there was a time to go on record against the death penalty, wasn't it that night? Capital punishment is already the law in the state of Maryland. So what are we waiting for, fellow Christians? Let's just do it.

Congregation: Amen.

Cotton Marcus: Do you believe that if you go ahead and allow the Holy Ghost into your heart, you can be cleansed of all your sins and sit in the Kingdom of God?

Congregation: Amen.

Cotton Marcus: That is what I'm talking about. Can I get an amen?

Congregation: Amen.

Cotton Marcus: Can I get a hallelujah?

Congregation: Hallelujah!

Cotton Marcus: Can I get a hallelujah and an amen?

Congregation: Hallelujah, amen!

Cotton Marcus: Do you know if you take two ripe bananas, you put them in a bowl, and you put some sugar and you go ahead then bake it for 400, you can go and pull it out and have yourself banana bread? Hallelujah!

Congregation: Hallelujah!