Commander Frank Houghton RAN Quotes in Father Goose (1964)

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: Mother Goose is requesting a chaplain.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: A chaplain? Good heavens, he's killed her.

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: No, sir. They want to get married.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Married? Goody Two-Shoes and the Filthy Beast?

Walter Eckland: [about the Coast Watching Service] We've been friends for a long time. Do you really think you can talk me into it?

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: No, I suppose you're right. Stebbings, confiscate all the small craft on this pier.

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: But this is the only one there is, Sir.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Confiscate it.

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: Yes, sir.

Walter Eckland: Frank, you can't do that! I'll go over your head! Who's in charge here?

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: He is!

Walter Eckland: Frank, you can't do that to me! That boat's all I have!

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: You said we've been friends for a long time, Walter. Do you really think you can talk me out of it?

Walter Eckland: All those miles of open sea and back again a man would need something to keep warm, now, wouldn't he?

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: 2 bottles.

Walter Eckland: All of them, Frank.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Three.

Walter Eckland: All of them, Frank.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Five.

Walter Eckland: All of them, Frank.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Got a pencil?

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: We could have transferred George Dickens from the interior if he hadn't gotten himself eaten that way.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: You needn't make him sound such a shirker, Stebbings.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: There's a bit of paperwork to fill out, Walter. Who's the Maid of Honor?

Catherine Freneau: Umm, Elizabeth Anderson.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: And the Best Man?

Walter Eckland: Uh, Harry MacGregor.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Harry?

Walter Eckland: Just believe me.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: [Speaking of Walter] I believe I've found our nail, Sir. A rusty one I grant you, but they don't come any sharper.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: [Telling Walter the code-names to be used on the radio] I'm Big Bad Wolf, Stebbings here is Bo Peep, and you're...

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: Mother Goose, Sir.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: That's it. You're Mother Goose. Now try and remember all that, Walter. It's bloody important.

Walter Eckland: Yeah, bloody.

Walter Eckland: [on the radio on his island] When do I get off?

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: I told you, as soon as we find a replacement for you. In the meantime, try to relax. Oh, and I'm very sorry about your boat. I really am.

Walter Eckland: Is Big Bad Wolf *really* sorry? Because if he is, Big Bad Wolf and Little Bo Peep can DO something for Mother Goose. THEY CAN GO...

[Stebbings cuts the radio off before any profanity goes through]

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: [to Stebbings] I don't really blame him, do you?

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: Sir, I don't think we've accomplished anything. I don't think he'll report in. I mean, you can lead a horse to water, but can you make it drink?

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: [calmly] When he gets thirsty, he'll drink, Stebbings. He'll drink.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Bride's full name?

Catherine Freneau: Catherine Louise Marie Ernestine Freneau.

Walter Eckland: [Gives Catherine a strange look] Eh!

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Groom's full name?

Walter Eckland: Walter Christopher Eckland.

[Eckland has just discovered that there was no snake when Houghton, who believes Catherine is dead, is calling]

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Walter? Are you there, Walter? I have the chaplain, I thought it might be a comfort if he said a few words.

Walter Eckland: Never mind the chaplain, Frank. She's alive. The snake's dead.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Walter, explain yourself.

[Eckland puts down the microphone]

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Walter? Walter?

[shouting]

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Walter!

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: [after explaining the Coast-watching service] It's ary important work, Walter. Damned important. You'd might like to volunteer.

Walter Eckland: Oh, I'd love to, Frank! But, I've just signer on for another watching service: the "Watch Out for Walter Eckland" Service!

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: A great many lives are at stake, Mr. Eckland!

Walter Eckland: Now listen to me, both of you! Now, several years ago, I made peace with the World. Now, if the World isn't bright enough to make peace with ITSELF, it's just going to have to settle things without me!

Walter Eckland: [after Frank's ship bashes a hole in Walter's boat to get him to go to Matalava] FRANK, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? LOOK AT MY BOAT!

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: [on a bullhorn, pleased with himself] Terribly sorry, Walter! Our steering must have jammed! I'm sorry!

Walter Eckland: IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO WORK ONE OF THOSE THINGS, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: I am sorry!

Walter Eckland: OH, STOP SAYING THAT! LOOK AT MY BOAT! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Become a Coast Watcher, I expect! Luckily, we put a little surprise ashore! Oh, Walter... we'll stand by until you get safely in!

Walter Eckland: FRANK, I'LL SUE YOU! I'LL SUE! I'LL SUE THE ENTIRE WAR!

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Quite right, Walter! I'll be your witness!

[adding]

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Oh, and Walter... Thanks for volunteering!