Burton Jernigan Quotes in Home Alone 3 (1997)

Burton Jernigan: [Jernigan has been hit in the groin by Alice with a crowbar when she tried to kill Alex's petmouse, Doris] You... smacked my winkie.

Alice: Well, if you changed your shorts once in a while, maybe you wouldn't have rats in your pants.

Burton Jernigan: Unger. What's your position?

Earl Unger: Heading down Washington Street.

Burton Jernigan: I didn't copy. Where?

Earl Unger: I said, I'm heading to Wuh-ah-ah-ah...

[Jernigan runs over Unger while driving]

Earl Unger: Stop, you nitwit!

[the car stops and Unger screams, then collapses into the snow]

Earl Unger: I can't tell you how much I appreciate you hitting me with a minivan.

Burton Jernigan: Never let your emotions get the best of you. You weren't paying attention. You should have been more vigilant.

Earl Unger: You should've taken driver's ed. I'm gonna have bad knees when I'm old and I'll have Burton Jernigan to thank.

[Alex is hiding in the closet and Mr. Unger tries to unlock the door]

Earl Unger: I'm coming for you, shorty, to pay you back for all the misery you caused me.

Alice: Mr. Unger, what are you doing?

Earl Unger: He's in the closet. Scaring him a little, just before I grab him. And behind door number one!

[Mr. Unger opens the closet door and Alex just disappeared]

Earl Unger: Towels.

Burton Jernigan: Hmph.

Earl Unger: I saw this door close.

Alice: Idiot.

Earl Unger: Would I make it up? Why? What's the point? We working on commission here?

[Mr. Unger and Mr. Jernigan meet Beaupre, who just found Alex's toy car, at the Alcott's house]

Burton Jernigan: It's a video camera. Someone's onto us.

Earl Unger: Do you think this really matters? Chip's in the car. We're at the airport in 45 minutes.

Peter Beaupre: Where's Alice?

Alice: [as she pushes a baby stroller to the Alcott's shed] What happened?

Peter Beaupre: There's a woman in the house. I'll go back in and deal with her. Get the chip.

[Beaupre then hands Alice the car]