Earl Unger Quotes in Home Alone 3 (1997)

Police Officer #1: Freeze!

Earl Unger: [in the pool frozen] You gotta be kidding me.

Alice: You got hit with a book?

Earl Unger: Books. Plural a trunk, full of books. Then a set of weights. We got hit twice, you dumb broad!

Burton Jernigan: Unger. What's your position?

Earl Unger: Heading down Washington Street.

Burton Jernigan: I didn't copy. Where?

Earl Unger: I said, I'm heading to Wuh-ah-ah-ah...

[Jernigan runs over Unger while driving]

Earl Unger: Stop, you nitwit!

[the car stops and Unger screams, then collapses into the snow]

Peter Beaupre: We are going to Chicago.

Earl Unger: In the winter? I packed tropical.

Earl Unger: I can't tell you how much I appreciate you hitting me with a minivan.

Burton Jernigan: Never let your emotions get the best of you. You weren't paying attention. You should have been more vigilant.

Earl Unger: You should've taken driver's ed. I'm gonna have bad knees when I'm old and I'll have Burton Jernigan to thank.

[Alex is hiding in the closet and Mr. Unger tries to unlock the door]

Earl Unger: I'm coming for you, shorty, to pay you back for all the misery you caused me.

Alice: Mr. Unger, what are you doing?

Earl Unger: He's in the closet. Scaring him a little, just before I grab him. And behind door number one!

[Mr. Unger opens the closet door and Alex just disappeared]

Earl Unger: Towels.

Burton Jernigan: Hmph.

Earl Unger: I saw this door close.

Alice: Idiot.

Earl Unger: Would I make it up? Why? What's the point? We working on commission here?

[while Beaupre, Unger, Jernigan and Alice are sitting at the dinner table, they discuss their plans to steal Alex's toy car]

Earl Unger: Tomorrow, whack every kid in the neighborhood. Burn them all!

[the four "spies" all stare at him]

Earl Unger: Then look for that stupid toy car.

Peter Beaupre: My thoughts keep turning to number 3026. It's within the operating radius of the toy car. It's in sight of all the houses I've been in.

[Mr. Unger and Mr. Jernigan meet Beaupre, who just found Alex's toy car, at the Alcott's house]

Burton Jernigan: It's a video camera. Someone's onto us.

Earl Unger: Do you think this really matters? Chip's in the car. We're at the airport in 45 minutes.

Peter Beaupre: Where's Alice?

Alice: [as she pushes a baby stroller to the Alcott's shed] What happened?

Peter Beaupre: There's a woman in the house. I'll go back in and deal with her. Get the chip.

[Beaupre then hands Alice the car]

Peter Beaupre: There are 14 houses. The toy car must be in one of them. We're going have to search them all. We'll come back when it's light.

Earl Unger: We're gonna work houses in broad daylight?

Peter Beaupre: It's the suberbs, Mr. Unger. Nobody's home during the day.