Bug Quotes in Men in Black (1997)

Bug: Place your projectile weapon on the ground.

Edgar: You can have my gun, when you pry it from my cold dead fingers.

Bug: Your proposal is acceptable.

[the Edgar-Bug has just captured the deputy medical examiner Laurel Weaver and is holding her at ray-gunpoint]

Kay: Let her go, shit eater.

Bug: Oh, listen, monkey boy. Compared to you humans, I'm on the top of the evolutionary ladder, so can it, all right?

Kay: You're breaking my heart. Show me your face and I'll cure all your ills.

Bug: You ever pull the wings off a fly? You care to see the fly get even?

Bug: How about that Elmo? What guts! What spunk! What chutzpah!

Huxley: You know what, Bug? You are really beginning to bug me.

Bug: Hmm... That's probably because I'm a bug.

Bug: You have a very lovely singing voice.

Huxley: Thank you. I always fancied myself a singer. I was almost in a bus and truck show of West Side Story. They said I wasn't right for Maria. What do they know? I feel pretty.

Huxley: Maybe if I look at it this way:

[Huxley puts his hands to his eyes, making a binocular-like gesture, the pesties shriek]

Huxley: I know! I think it's time for Elmo to take a little "trip to the tunnel", if you know what I mean, huh?

[Huxley chuckles wickedly]

Bug: [from the monitor, eating popcorn] What'd you say, boss?

Huxley: Bug, what are you doing?

Bug: [with his mouth full of popcorn] Just having a little snack. Hard to do an evil bidding on an empty stomach.

Huxley: Oh, sure. Listen, Bug, listen good.

Bug: Mm-hmm.

Huxley: Are you listening?

Bug: Mm-hmm.

Huxley: Get back to work!

[Bug faints]

[Buck's beat up old car pulls up]

Bug: [sarcastic] Ever hear of a tune up? Hee hee hee hee hee.

Buck: [also sarcastic] Ah, heh heh heh. Ever hear of a ritual killing? Ah, heh heh heh heh heh!

Bug: I don't get it.

Buck: [serious tone] You gnaw on her face in public like that again and you'll be one. Ah, heh heh heh heh!

Buck: Well, well, well, they certainly are scraping the bottom of the barrel for cheerleaders these days.

Tia: What are you doing here?

Buck: We were just driving by to get some ice cream. Thought you might like to join us.

Tia: I said I would be home at 10. It's not even 9!

Buck: Who said anything about that? I thought you might like to join us for some ice cream. Maybe your Bug here can join us. We can talk about burying the hatchet. You know what a hatchet is, don't you, Bug?

Bug: It's an ax?

Buck: Sort of, yeah, yeah. I got one in my car if you'd like to see it.

Bug: [getting scared] I'll pass.

Buck: Fair enough. I like to carry it, you never know when you're going to need it. A situation may come up say for example, someone has been drinking, and about to drive a loved one home... then I'd like to know I have it. Not to kill, no. Just to maim. Take a little off the shoulder. Swish! The elbow. Slash! Shave a little meat off the old kneecap. Fowap! Ooooo! You got both kneecaps? I like to keep mine razor sharp. Sharp enough you can shave with it. Why I've been known to circumcise a gnat. You're not a gnat are you, Bug? Wait a minute, bug, gnat. Is there a little similarity? Whoa, I think there is! Ha ha ha. You understand what I'm talking about? I don't think you do. I'll be right back. Heh heh heh heh.

[walks away]

Tia: I'm sorry.

Bug: Look, I think you'd better split. I don't exactly want him to go berserk with an ax on me.

Tia: He's all talk.

[Buck pulls out a small hatchet from his car]

Buck: Here it is! Come over, come on, I want to show it to you. Maybe later. Okay.

Will Burton: I think you're trying too hard to be like Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Bug: That's crazy; I don't even like Flea.

Will Burton: Yeah, what's your name?

Bug: ...Bug.

Sa5m: Well, if you were just part of Charlotte's experiment this whole time, then, what is reality? What if Charlotte and her experiment are really a part of someone else's larger experiment? I mean, what if we're being manipulated by some greater intelligence than our own? And if so, is there really such a thing as free will? Am I moving my hand or was it predetermined by a force I'm not even aware of? Charlotte times a trillion.f you were just part of Charlotte's experiment this whole time, then, what is reality? What if Charlotte and her experiment are really a part of someone else's larger experiment? I mean, what if we're being manipulated by some greater intelligence than our own? And if so, is there really such a thing as free will? Am I moving my hand, or was it predetermined by a force I'm not even aware of? Charlotte times a trillion.

Bug: See, this is why you don't have friends!

Billy: You wanna kiss me, Cowboy?

Bug: You wanna fucking die?

Bug: Why do we even need this fancy prick?

Dick: We have been through this. If Donnie goes in, it looks like he has two days to live. No offense. You or I go in, it's like panic city.

Bug: Hey, smell my finger.

Bones: No.

Punk Girl 1: Can't I get a beer?

Bug: Not unless you grow a dick real soon.

Up: I don't usually talk about it...

Bug: Yeah, well, you're not usually on top of a lap, are you?

Up: [pause] You're right.

Up: It was the final battle of the Robot War. The last push in the assault on Kronos. See, I tracked down the robots' final deposit of phason. Without it, the robots wouldn't have been able to power the Gundam Wing Zero units and the war would've been as good as ours. Taz and I, we were fighting together inside the hulking, smoking remains of Metal Gear, holding off thousands of robot Sentinels when suddenly, Taz got flanked by two of those terrible Autobots. I ran to help her, but in doing so, I let my guard down to the Sentinels. They picked me up with their tentacles and they held me spread-eagle in the air. It was then that that son-of-a-bitch Optimus Prime, he turned to me and his chest opened up and he shot me. With a circular buzzsaw. Sliced me right in half. Vertically. Like hot dog-style, not hamburger.

Bug: Oh! Oh, wow!

Up: Yeah, I survived somehow, but the entire right side of my body, it's a robot. But I wasn't sliced perfectly in half, Bug. No. See, in the heat of battle, my ample body was glazed in sweat. The sweat had plastered my nutsack to my right leg and when I got sliced in half, I lost 'em. The only thing I got left, on account of it's the left side of my body that survived, is my human heart. And now you know, Bug. I ain't got no balls, but I'm all heart. So you see, Bug, the problem is that to be a good commander, you gotta be okay with death. You can't be afraid to take a few casualties. But now, the thought of losing you or Taz or even that candy-ass Krayonder, it's just too much to take. I mean I used to be able to look at ten marines getting slaughtered and chopped to bits by angry robots and I wouldn't even blink an eye when the guts splattered on my face, but now I can't even make it through the "Sir, I wanna buy these shoes" Christmas song without crying. And I know it's a cheesy song, Bug, I know! But the mama's gonna die in it! And she's gonna meet Jesus and even have new goddamn shoes!

Bug: My name's Bug.

February: [gasp] Like a bug?

Bug: Um... no.

Up: Jeez Bug, you just stared down a gigantic spider and in my book that makes you a tough son of a bitch.

Bug: Thank you, sir, I am a tough bitch.

Bug: I mean, you get to live out your dream everyday with the Over-Queen! Now it's time for me to live mine! Up there with the Starship Rangers.

Roach: But... But what if I miss you Bug?

Bug: Well... If you miss me, just look up. Because that's where I'll be.

February: Why did you lie to me, Bug?

Bug: February, at first I just wanted to help you escape from the hatchery. But I knew I loved you the second I laid eyes on you in that mucus sac. And I didn't think I'd ever see you again, so when Pincer here gave me the chance not just to be with you, but to be one of you? I took it. But I didn't think because, uh, cause being a Starship Ranger has been the only thing I've wanted more than anything in my whole life. So I lied. But I know the truth now everybody. I... I'm not a Starship Ranger. I'm a bug. But we've got a saying on Bug World, huh? 'The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs.' Or the one bug. Never really understood that until now, so...

Up: Bug, you may be a damn bug. But you are the finest Starship Ranger that I have ever seen.

[pause]

Up: It's been an honor, to be your commander, Bug.

Bug: Thanks, Up, it's been a ride.

[pause]

Bug: February, I want you to know that even though I lied about being a bug, I meant everything else. You are the most beautiful, the funniest and... and the smartest girl I have ever met. Do it now.

February: Goodbye, Bug.

Bug: I am the condor. The Keeper of the Souls. I eat death for breakfast. I live in a house of blood and I accept that. That's all a man can do. I was ready to be arrested that night. I wasn't ready for what happened instead. Leah had told them everything and I was celebrated as a hero. Alex Dunkelman killed his stepfather, a cop, a mother, and five of the Riverton Seven. And I alone had stopped him from killing more. I didn't feel like a hero at all. But if it makes Riverton feel safe at night, I'll fake that I'm their hero. And I'll fake it good. Alex wouldn't have it any other way.

Penelope: [about the Reaper] Pray for our souls, Bug. He's coming.

Bug: Jesus?

Alex: [Bug stabs him, killing the Ripper personality] I thought that guy would never leave.

Bug: Alex?

Alex: Where's the biggest knife in the kitchen?

Bug: Where it needs to be.

[pulls the knife out]

Bug: I'm scared.

Alex: We're sixteen, Bug. Like it or not, we're men now.

Bug: I don't feel like a man!

Alex: No one does, that's why you gotta fake it.

Bug: Fake being a man to be a man?

Alex: That's the way it works. You can't run, you have to face your fear like a man.

Bug: Even though I'm not a man?

Alex: Because you're not a man. Listen, the better you fake it, the better man you are.

Bug: Just fake it.

Alex: Fake it good. Like if you're scared, act like you don't give a shit, or if somebody hurts you, say, "Thank you very much, that felt wonderful."

Bug: [practicing] Thanks, Brandon, that-I can't raise my arm, feels good.

Alex: Yeah, there you go.

Bug: Is that all you got, Brandon? I mean... I feel downright... cheated!

Alex: I'm amazed that you're getting this so quick, it's tricky stuff.

Bug: I was faking what I did.

Alex: You were?

Bug: [nods] Completely.

Alex: Yeah, but you were faking it good.

Bug: I was?

Alex: Abso-fuckin'-lutely. You now have permission to shave.

Bug: Do you think I'm a monkey, Alex?

Alex: Have you killed people, Bug?

Bug: Not that I can remember.

Alex: Well I can't remember buying you bananas, either.

Alex: Say, "Thanks, Fang, that felt great."

Bug: I'd be lying.

Alex: That's the point.

Bug: Thanks, Fang, that felt great.

Alex: That felt *fucking* great!

Bug: That's a bad word.

Alex: You bet. Makes things good.

Bug: Everything's backwards with you.

Alex: Condor?

Bug: Crow.

Alex: It's all right, Bug. Feels great.

Bug: Feels fucking great.

Alex: Fucking great.

[dies]

Bug: Fly now. I know you're up there, and I know we're down here.

Bug: Just because you were out there doesn't mean you were spying.

Alex: I was spying.

Alex: [regarding a large bag] What the fuck is that?

Bug: Sock puppet.

Alex: On steroids?

Bug: Now we're all gonna die and it's my fault.

Alex: [after being pressured by Alex to swear, Bug says "fuck" nearly every line] Enough with the fucks!

Bug: You say fuck.

May: Just because Leah says mean things doesn't make them so.

Bug: What if they are so?

Bug: I know you're not my mother.

May: Bug, I'm so sorry, I never meant...

Bug: I hope you know something, too.

May: What?

Bug: That you are my mom. That one you're stuck with, like it or not.

Bug: I wished I could take back what I did today, and make you proud of me.

Bug: That puppet was scary.

Fang: Do you know who your daddy was?

Bug: May told me that he loved us very much.

Fang: Yes, but who was he?

Bug: I don't know. He died in a car accident

Fang: On the way to the hospital while she was giving birth to you.

[sarcastically]

Fang: What a sad and lovely story. Do you ever wonder why May doesn't talk about him or why there are no single fucking pictures of him in this house?

Bug: Well, maybe it was just too painful .

Bug: Holy shit! It's in her throat! What? What? She swallowed it?

Jay: She tried to

Holly: Why would she do that?

Jay: Maybe she didn't want anybody leaving

[last lines]

Bug: Peter... Go!

Bug: [disconnecting the tubes to Orin] It's what he wanted... to go home1

Bug: Whatever is out there... we find it... and rip it's fucking head off

Bug: If this thing is outside peter... how do you know it's going to get inside one of us

Jay: What's the method of execution in Montana?

Bug: Lethal injection three drugs; first stops the musscles, secound stops the lungs... third stops the heart

Jay: What if someone could fake it... make it look like he died

Bug: What? like they faked his death or something?

Holly: Incubus a demon that gets inside you when you sleep

Bug: Jesus... demons now?