Buddy Young, Jr. Quotes in Mr. Saturday Night (1992)

Buddy Young, Jr.: For me, my family was like, uh, Dances With Jews. Oh sure, we had names for our relatives like they had in that movie.

Reporter: What do you mean?

Buddy Young, Jr.: Well, we had "Eats With His Hands," "Spits When He Talks," "Makes Noise When He Bends," "Sweats Like a Pig," "Whines In a Cab," "Never Buys Retail," "Shaves His Back."

Buddy Young, Jr.: Who do you have to screw to get a vodka?

Sidney: Me.

Buddy Young, Jr.: Make it a ginger ale.

Buddy Young, Jr.: I'll never forget what my Uncle Moe said about little girls. He said, "Officer, she said she was 18!"

Buddy Young, Jr.: I didn't take your life, Stan. I gave you one.

Stan: Yeah, but you coulda been nicer.

Buddy Young, Jr.: [to the audience he's performing to] I know you're out there, I can hear you reloading!

Buddy Young, Jr.: I just dropped two crab cakes in my shorts and nobody knows.