Billy Clyde Puckett Quotes in Semi-Tough (1977)

Billy Clyde Puckett: [of a football player in a tuxedo] Now who says that clothes don't make the man? That's a well-dressed phone booth!

Billy Clyde Puckett: Shake, old buddy, you know what I'm choosing to do?

Marvin 'Shake' Tiller: What?

Billy Clyde Puckett: I am choosing to win this fucking game.

Billy Clyde Puckett: [responding to a knock at the bathroom door] Just shit and push it under the door.

Billy Clyde Puckett: [to another knock at the bathroom door] Go shit in your hat!

Billy Clyde Puckett: Why are you getting married? Did she knock you up?

Billy Clyde Puckett: [Billy Clyde is being "pelfed" and Clara Pelf is pulling on a rubber glove] Oh no... I remember *that* from the Army!

Puddin Patterson Sr.: What you got is a bad case of Barbara Jane Bookman!

Billy Clyde Puckett: I've always had that. I just didn't know how bad until now.

Puddin Patterson Sr.: [realizing what Billy Clyde is up to and laughing] Oh man... you don't really think you're going to pull this scam off, do you?

Billy Clyde Puckett: I'm sure gonna give it my best shot.

Barbara Jane Bookman: [they're watching the wedding degenerate into a brawl] Friedrich is right about one thing... I sure am an asshole.

Billy Clyde Puckett: Friedrich is an asshole.

Barbara Jane Bookman: [raises her veil and stares at him] Say that again?

Billy Clyde Puckett: [deliberately] Friedrich is an asshole.

Barbara Jane Bookman: [incredulous] You didn't get *it*?

Billy Clyde Puckett: In the immortal words of Gene Autry... nope.

Barbara Jane Bookman: [realizing] You son-of-a...